2010-02-09 - 7:07 a.m.

I planned on getting the girls to the sitter and getting into work as early as possible to work as many hours before the snow starts falling.

I have a contract at work the sales dude and team REALLY wanted turned over last Friday. Not possible. Instead I took my time and drafted a GOOD TIGHT DOCUMENT

I also know to hold it over one more day and have my co-worker carefully review. I sent it to her yesterday. So a three day turn around isn't terrible for a more complex unique deal.

Actually two business days from when it hit our queue.

OK That makes me feel better as even though it came to us on FRI the fact they WANTED it Friday made me feel kinda bad that on Friday I focused on someone ELSE'S JOB just to GET IT DONE. I really did spend a ridiculous amount of time adding the Customer's redlines *which the Customer or our sales person should have done before vetting it to us in legal. Thing is they sent these long rambling e-mails ( I know... I should be one to complain about long rambling?? However my philosophy is DO YOUR RAMBLING VENTS IN A JOURNAL AND GIVE THE REST OF THE WORLD SUCCINCT CLEAR COMMUNICATION AS BRIEF AS POSSIBLE!)

I mean I don't really CARE about the back and forth... what is the ONE LEGAL ISSUE that I actually need to review in the mess of pages of comments and input? I also just can't retain every bit of back and forth flipping between screens and a doc, so I know AT LEAST FOR ME- I had to move it all into a comment and redline in the long convuluted custom contract to make sense of it!

I DO think it was time well spend, but irritatingly frustrating as this deal is really the dance of the sales dudes trying to sell something that EVERYONE says "NO" WE CAN'T PROMISE at one juncture or another.

Now instead of accepting that- the sales dudes act like kids bouncing between two parents hoping one will say "SURE! WE CAN SELL A ROCKET TO THE MOON THAT ALSO MAKES YOUR LATTE JUST RIGHT, Even though those astronauts REALLY just need some dehydrated ice cream to survive... maybe they won't figure that out... and maybe they will think this is so #$&#(%&$( COOL that they do DECIDE to pay us BUCO MONEY For something REALLY #(%4 COOL EVEN THOUGH we have - according to the ACTUAL ENGINEERS NO #$%^($ IDEA a) HOW to do this b) IF IT CAN POSSIBLY WORK and we SECRETLY KNOW that the Customer c) DOESN'T REALLY WANT IT OR let alone NEED IT"

CE LA VIE... That of course is the JOB Of good sales and marketing people isn't is? To convince us that we have THNEEDS that "EVERYONE THNEEDS!!"

And then to try to get EVERYONE ON BOARD.

And who was it who thought there was no place for lawyers?

MY COMPANY ROCKS! I LOVE THE ETHICS!

I LOVE THAT WE HAVE A SUPER BRIGHT LEGAL TEAM THAT UNDERSTANDS TECHNOLOGY MORESO THAN THE SALES DUDES WHO EVEN IF THEY DO "PRETEND" the THNEED IS THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD.

Our job in the end is to be sure that the FINAL contract after all the fluff reads somthing like this:

"^$(%^($7 will provide $(#$%(& SLICED WHITE BREAD. WE WARRANT THE SLICES WILL BE CAREFULLY MADE BUT DO NOT GUARANTEE THAT EACH ONE WILL BE EXACTLY THE SAME IN WIDTH AND TEXTURE.
WE WILL NOT ASSUME RESPONSIBILY OR LIABILITY FOR ANY AIR POCKETS OR LUMPS OF FLOUR.
CUSTOMER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY NEED FOR GAS X or LACTAID which results in the consumption of our products and services.
*Even if we accidently forget the rising agent and Customer receives FLAT BREAD,Customer assumes such risk as FOB.

AT YOU OPTION FOR A PRICE OF $(%&&%$(& CUSTOMER MAY UPGRADE TO WHEAT BREAD"

SEE , in the end , it is the LAWYERS who keep everyone ethical!!

It is the LAWYERS who provide that oversight to ensure we are HONEST and UPFRONT about what we can and can not promise!

Hope the sales dudes are enjoyed their trip to "LA LA Land" which I am sure was filled visions of fat commission checks.

If they are not so happy when we sell the White Bread, maybe they can be real trailblazers and join one of the first teams off to the moon in their new rockets.

OH YEAH.. they won't get to do that. Those are the Engineers who get sent for the most part.

Done venting. I won't even start in on the Engineers. I have to say my personal bias against Engineers in my PERSONAL life is being VERY WELL BALANCED as in my PROFESSIONAL WORLD whenever I REALLY need to know what is REALLY GOING ON ,and what we are REALLY ABLE TO PROVIDE AND REALLY SELLING after cutting out all the market speak, its NICE to finally cut through the fluff and find out who the actual ENGINEER on the project is.

Amazing how then we can get things done ridiculously efficiently.

But of course in the REAL world, we DO need all the middle men as if we didn't have them, we engineers and lawyers would be hanging out on the farm with our cool $%^($&%^$& devices and amazing inventions without the diplomatic sales dudes to bring them to the world.

And we all know how that story ends.
With amazing %^(%$ technology used by the Engineer to drive the Lawyer %)^%$) nuts and VICE VERSA. Doesn't work.

Funny I love to sit down and vent as I never really KNOW what I am going to write about and just let it flow.

I deleted last night's therapeutic rambling as who really WANTS to read about yet another PAR FOR THE COURSE NONSENSICAL LOUDOUN LEGAL ISSUE?

I don't.
I don't want to continue EXPERIENCING that weirdness, let alone put that negative energy out there for others!!

One girl however is still sleeping soundly. I really have this TROUBLE waking sleeping children. I feel like getting their rest is SO IMPORTANT. I believe EATING WELL and SLEEPING WELL really are the most important priorities for kids next to time with their parents! We fall short of making them so important by over-programming and having our schools start at 7:50 am with busses coming as early as 7AM for some of these little tykes.