2004-01-30 - 10:46 a.m.

I'm feeling a bit upset right now as I found THREE whole years of Poetry and Writer magazines (from 2001 to 2003) on e-bay for a total of $17 but its now gone.... What upsets me most is that when I mentioned I wanted to bid on it my husband of course went on about how now is not the time to be spending extra money on things we don't NEED, as he just got an unusually high construction bill.

But it was OK for him to purchase a number of books for his growing Dewey collection, and a few Cakewalk dresses he found on e-bay for the little girls just in the past week....

Of course he justified that by saying he did that BEFORE the Monday morning news of the recent constuction bill.(The subcontractor Shenendoah Masonry sent FIFTEEN stone masons to our house project!! in a market where its hard to find stone masons at all the GC didn't expect that! That's a TON of labor- and one HUGE Bill!! The stock Westley sold to pay for the next FOUR months of Bills was just ALL spent in this one month!)

But then what upsets me most is that THIS morning he asked me to help make a decision on an OLily dress he found for Katerina, who wears the largest childrens size they make which is VERY hard to find second hand. Its a beautiful light blue winter flannel for $16 Austrailian (which translates into LESS in US dollars)- a veritable STEAL for that, plus shipping... But the COST is the about the SAME as what I WANTED to spend on the magazines! Just the fact of him ASKING me my opinion annoys me!

I mean if we can't spend ANY extra money- then we can't!! But this attitude that we can't afford anything extra which comes up ONLY in response to MY DESIRES really angers me!

I said about the dress-- "Well if we can't afford it now, we just can't afford it" although its a shame as it is a find, and Katerina of all the girls could use a new dress. She has two which fit her right now that she alternates for church on Sunday. The little girls each have about a half dozen.

In any cae, this is an example of the reason I feel it essential that I earn my OWN money ASAP!! I did practice sewing enough so that in Dec Jay told me my samples were good enough that he'd give me work. I visited his store on Tue of this week and he said his primary sewer is out sick recovering from Gall Bladder surgery, and his back up - a guy named Rodney is "slower than molasses" so he said he may call me next week with work! I HOPE SO!! It would be nice.

I also got a call from one attny in VA who asked me to follow up with a former client who I prepared an N 400 for who said he wanted further help as "Nothing happened yet" Despite the FACT I KNOW that's NOT REALLY true, it means I may have more work when I get back to VA! (Even if it is the kind that results from clients not following up on their own responsibilities.) I think I'll need to hand hold this guy through the process.... and that means billable time for me. AFTER filing his N 400 last Winter, the secretary called me in NY here last Spring to say he came by and showed her a letter from INS instructing him to pay a fee ang go for fingerprinting.... and asking what he should do. She told him to pay the fee and do what INS says. Not hard to understand... but I bet the client never followed up.

OK I vented. Now I think I'll go upstairs and be supportive of my husband buying my oldest daughter a new dress. Perspective-- after all it IS his money. She is in fact NOT his daughter, so I should be grateful. Her Father doesn't pay child support. Why be childish and unsupportive of the nice thing he wants to do because he isn't jumping to do the thing I WANT right now?

I better go now before THAT auction is ended!!

Oh- and one last thing! E-Bay HAS been great for me as far as a means of getting income. In the past year I e-bayed a barely used breast pump for $150 (It was $250 new and I used it maybe a dozen times before realizing I jsut HAVE VERY little milk!) and this Fall we got a trampoline from a neighbor that the kids enjoyed for about three months, then in December I e-bayed it for $84!! From that I gave Katerina and Soren each $20 in allowance for all their help with chores so they could do Christmas shopping.

So there is always e-bay as a source of my spending money! I have some lesser worn dresses in good condition.

Oh- and latest news- Once again, my size is fluctuating along with our changing family size! Yes I am indeed pregnant again! Another reason to be frugal- WE WILL need a new vehical as with child # 6 expected in July or Aug, the whole family will not fit in any one of our current cars.

Maybe I can find an old BUS on e-bay? aLong with the colorful hippy flower decorations....to match our flowy, flowery second hand Oilily and Cakewalk collection...

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