2006-04-10 - 5:47 p.m.
AH HA!!! I just figured out why when the NY court ordered ARREARS to be paid to me for non payment of SUPPORT for A FIVE YEAR PERIOD it was only in the amount of $500 awarded to me:
I was looking up CHILD SUPPORT OBLIGATIONS as DESPITE the past I REALLY DO FEEL LIKE I HAVE AN ETHICAL OBLIGATION TO PAY SUPPORT FOR MY CHILDREN! I intend to pay my attny but ALSO sent Katerina and Soren's dad some support. Although I think that it might be wiser to just continue to buy them CLOTHES and send money to the TRUST which my brother (THE BANK MANAGER ) is trustee of for their benefit.
However I felt like I should AT LEAST look up the actual AMOUNT of my support obligation based on my income. So I figured it out using the 25 % formula of the CHILD SUPPORT STANDARDS ACT but then found a NY STATE CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATOR and it came up with the figure of
I then recalled THAT WAS WHAT I HAD EXPECTED FROM THE KIDS DAD when he was living below the poverty line!
So I realized that my income ALSO being that low gave me that support figure.
At that LEGALLY MANDATED AMOUNT I think I WILL JUST SEND the $25 a month to their DAD and then send any ADDITIONAL MONEY (as I have done when I have extra any month) to the TRUST for the kids.
But back to the question of arrears. I got sick of GETTING NO SUPPORT and had figured at $25 a month I would be awarded around $2000 in back due payments.
The intent REALLY Was to get their DAD involved in their lives as studies show parents who PAY then PLAY with their kids! (HA HA... PAY TO PLAY just came to mind.... so I couldn't resist that pun)
SEE IT WORKED! I filed for support and their DAD DID GET INVOLVED IN THEIR LIVES!!! (HA HA!)
So I found this:
AH HA.... Thus the $500 award. Now the think is that at one time I KNEW THAT! WHICH IS WHY I ARGUED WITH WESTELY FOR YEARS BEFORE FILING THAT "YOU CAN't GET BLOOD OUT OF A STONE!" HE wanted me to file thinking he's actually REDUCE his costs of raising my children! I told him a lawyer fee would be more than we'd ever see! (Boy was I right!)
WAS IT WORTH IT??
EVEN THOUGH I INDEED NO LONGER HAVE CUSTODY I DO FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT REGARDLESS OF WHO MY KIDS LIVE WITH (AND IN REALITY THIS IS LIKELY TRUE OF MOST KIDS) THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT THEY ACTUALLY HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH PARENTS! THAT WOULD NOT HAVE REALLY HAPPENED HAD THEY STAYED WITH ME!
I Have talked at work to some OLDER folks who said the same thing THEY SAY THAT REALLY IN THE END it didn't matter WHO the kids ended up with. They said they couldn't see that AT THE TIME OF THE CUSTODY BATTLE but THAT WHAT REALLY IS IMPORTANT IS THAT BOTH PARENTS ARE INVOLVED with THEIR KIDS LIVES.
So some may think me crazy... but I truly think in the end more GOOD than bad came out of the whole mess.
Heck it even seems that the kid's DAD is REALLY sober and motivated and working hard and faith filled and IS THERE FOR HIS KIDS. He in fact set a goal of buying his own car and recently met it and the kids tell me he set a goal of buying a house. He is apparently saving money to get a duplex so he can rent out the other half.
I am sure that is an attainable goal (as Bufffalo really DOES have affordable real estate.)
So that really is a good sign that for the first time in a LONG TIME he is setting goals and seemingly meeting them. We'll see if he CONTINUES to do so!
As long as I see that, I will feel good about sending off $25 a month cash to their DAD!