2006-11-09 - 6:13 p.m.
I just read when I wrote last summer that I don't give a shit about my equity in the farm business since I didn't go into it AS AN INVESTMENT in anything other than family!
HOWEVER NOW I AM REALLY AGGREVATED! I NOW DO HAVE AN INTEREST IN MY EQUITY as it is being IGNORED and INVALIDATED and is again another slap at my face. Its another attack at me as being a real PARTNER worthy of respect!
Westely calls incessantly as usual. I WAS TRYING not to talk to him, then of course I break down in a moment of good faith and old fashioned TRUST and Actual LOVE and do so openly.
BUT THEN they psycotic obsessive calls BEGIN ALL OVER AGAIN... with total disregard for my saying "I can't talk to you now!"
She asked "Do you have any?"
"YESS! I'll mail them out this afternoon!"
NO I DIDN'T FOLLOW THROUGH I REALLY THINK THAT WAS A DUMB THING TO SAY IN A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS. I MEAN DOES HIS FAMILY REALLY HAVE TO SEE THAT TO BELIEVE HE ACTUALLY BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF MY ARM ...WHY THE HEll do they insist on dwelling on that anyway? If they keep pushing I suppose I could just POST THE PICS here so they CAN ALL LOOK AT THEM CONCURRANTLY and perhaps realize I HAVEN'T MADE THAT CRAP UP!
I thought his recent comments of how "YOU have a good imagination" were leading to some AGENDA on his part to PRETEND I have some difficulty between REALITY and fiction.
THe whole bizarre experience of him saying shit like "YOU WON't BELIEVE HOW PACKED THE CAR IS" when he PRETENDS to have brought a lot of the girls winter clothes, when IN REALITY THERE WERE TWO DAMN BINS IN THE BACK SEAT OF HIS CAR, and a third in the trunk- and they were mostly KATERINA's size 10 and 12 hand me downs that don't FIT ANY OF THE LITTLE ONES is just an attempt to make it APPEAR that the mirage he spins is real!
Its a wild tactic on his part. HE has the conversations in which he SAYS STUFF, and then the REALITY Is that he never follows through.
Then he does crazy stuff like come to pick up the girls REPEATEDLY without car seats. When I go to pick them up and quickly move the seats BACK TO MY CAR which I had given to him to use, he says crap like "Why are you upset? "
The Friday before last was Sadie's Brownie investiture ceremony. It was at 6pm, during the time he is to meet the girls for his visitation. So I thought it would be nice to INVITE him to go, and to drop the girls off there. I PLANNED on leaving immediately. BUT HE HAD TO CONTROL MY MOVEMENT by NOT HAVING CAR SEATS and then having to LINGER while I was WAITING TO MOVE THEM! I got fed up and finally decided to move them myself TO NEXT TO HIS CAR, and to take the bag packed with clothes for the weekend and place it near the girls coats, along with the two bags of HIS WINTER CLOTHES that he kept REFUSING TO TAKE every time I brought them for him. So I did that, and put all three bags near the girls coats. I waved bye to the girls and the ceremony was beginning and HE BOLTS OUT OF HIS CHAIR RUNNING ACROSSS THE ROOM YELLING "WAIT" making a total scene. He then DRAGGED ALL THE LITTLE GIRLS OUT (except SADIE who was marching in with her brownie gals) SO THEN HE MOVED THE STUFF with me there as he said he ALSO NEEDED the littlest ones car seat (*which he hadn't indicated. The last TWO OR THREE TIMES HE PLAYED THE CAR SEAT GAME HE ONLY NEEDED ONE OR TWO OF THE OLDER GIRLS BOOSTERS)
I FINALLY GOT OUT OF THERE! I knew SADIE would be just so thrilled WE BOTH WERE THERE and that she's be OBLIVIOUS as to how long each of us were there! She was caught up in the ceremony.
But it was SO AGGREVATING to feel like he was STILL CONTROLLING my movement that night!
So he then gives me the THREE bins of clothes.
I KNEW ENOUGH not to even open them. I headed STRAIGHT TO TARGET where I picked up a few warm jackets on Clearance and Clearance FALL CLOTHES for the girls which were much needed.
I figured they NEED THEM ANYWAY, regardless if he really sent any.
And it was SO SMART as I went home and put the new things away. I therefore was not upset when I UNPACKED the bins to discover the THREE OR FOUR winter clothing items sent, among the SIZE 10 and 12 hand me downs and the many SUMMER CLOTHES that he ridiculously sent!
HE DID send requested rain boots and hats and gloves. BUT NOT ONE WINTER JACKET SENT.
THANK GOODNESS FOR THE TARGET CLEARANCE SALE On what the girls needed!
THE MIRAGE Of his saying one thing and doing another is WEIRD
The other weird thing is that weekend HE TOLD ME he was taking the girls to a HALOWEEN PARTY so KATIE couldn't go to the one I told him about that her classmate invited her to. I sent the girls costumes since he said they were going to a party.
But he apparently didn't WANT them to wear them. That was fine- but when I ASKED if the clothes I sent were good for the weekend, he said his sister was upset I hadn't sent clothes and he said he told her that he had told me not to. I asked "What are you talking about? you told me not to send clothes as you were keeping some there, and I TOLD YOU I WILL ALWAYS CONTINUE TO SEND A BAG PACKED WITH ENOUGH DIAPERS AND CLOTHES just in case anything ever were to happen, AND SO I NEVER GET ACCUSSED OF SENDING THEM OFF WITHOUT ADEQUATE CLOTHING AND NECESSITIES! The RED BAG WAS FULL OF ALL THEIR CLOTHES!"
So HE CLAIMED "I didn't know that. I thought only the Halloween costumes were in there."