2007-01-26 - 7:45 p.m.
I had a lovely day today.
Actually it has been a wonderful week overall. Despite the stress of the kids not being picked up as usual when I showed up last Fri at Starbucks, and then droppping them off to hear Sat morn to hear a nasty "I'm bringing them to school on Monday, it's called joint custody, get used to it" I had a suprisingly relaxed week.
My big disappointment is that I wanted to be in Buffalo RIGHT NOW watching Soren in a show! I hope the preformance is taped and I some day get to see it. That does make me really upset that I couldn't get to see it.
Monday however was a snow day here. So the schools used today's scheduled TEACHER WORK DAY as a day of instruction to make up for the lost day. Since last week I kept the kids out of school to avoid the joint custody issue being raised other than in a court (in hopes of receiving an emergency hearing... which I didn't get. The matter is on the docket for next Friday however. The judge didn't deem it an "emergency" but I guess that gives it some priority as it is sooner than typical for divorce action and custody hearings to receive a scheduled date.)
I had kept them out of school hoping for a hearing Thu or Fri. On Mon morn at 9am my attorney presented a motion for scheduling. She argued for an emergency hearing but got the best she could get I suppose.
In any case, I happen to have run clear out of money this week. I budgeted EXACTLY to make it through as my support hearing is NEXT MONDAY. I have enough food in stock, and a few bills to go buy milk tommorrow, but travel to Buffalo wasn't affordable even if the kids didn't have to go to school today at this point.
The highlights of the week that indeed did make it a lovely one in the end were:
Having my friend "Pocahantas" as I can't help but call her, show up at my door on Sunday night as I was in Jammies ready to go to bed saying "Get dressed! We are going sledding!"
Pocahantas is indiginous and looks like what one would imagine her to look like with georgous long black hair, and is as free spirited and spiritual- the perfect late night sledding partner. It was wonderfully theraputic and she had me back home and in bed by 11:30pm.
Her friendship indeed has been a gift in all this turmoil of the past year. She and her significant other, who loaned me a car for the whole past week after the DENALI was repossessed for nonpayment (since SEPT apparently). What is amazing is that it is now she and HER EX as they were going through a break up this Fall. This man however who loves her deeply, and she him, are examples of how one SHOULD end a relationship when one has to: HE is supporting her for one year, (After a seven year commitment in which she was home blending her family with his), and the car she used all week was the FAMILY CAR he had bought for her use with the family. I used her personal car all last week until we could get out to my mechanic to pick up my VOLVO.
I have had wonderful support of so many incredible people! The mechanic had been willing to let me leave my VOLVO there (after I picked up the Denali) until AFTER the support hearing when I was going to assess finances and see what/if anything I could afford to fix on it. So it wasn't in for work as much as for the kind convienience of me being able to drive it and swap the cars when the Denali was ready. I was then going to see if I could AFFORD to fix the rear window wiper I PREFER works (as it is great on a dirt road in the rain to have that.) Regardless I needed to pick it up by MID FEB when I am scheduled to have an AU PAIR ARRIVE and hoped to have BOTH CARS then! The Volvo was to be for her to use, and I was going to use the DENALI for as long as it was maintained. (Which I knew was likely to be thwarted if the protective order mandating my retention and use of it was not upheld)
What is amazing is that I heard that the significant other of Pocohantas actually was driving a RENTAL CAR all last week!
So when he so graciously allowed her to use the family vehical, and I used HER CAR, his personal car was in the shop and HE GOT A RENTAL ALL WEEK!
I wasn't supposed to have caught onto that fact either.
THERE ARE SOME AMAZING PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD.
That contrast just astounds me.
These are the SAME PEOPLE who I now call friends who WERE LITERALLY STRANGERS when SEVEN MONTHS AGO THEY TOOK THE GIRLS AND I IN.
I knew Pocahontas as an acquaintence from Girl Scouts years ago. I never met her significant other. This man took my whole family into their home five minutes after she asked him if he would. And I had only had one or two conversations with Pocahontas on a playground where I saw her with the kids she cared for as a professional nanny. The second one was in 2004 just after Katerina was punched in the head by Westley. We had talked of the counseling and anger management and whether it was likely it would be effective. And on that afternoon in AUG O4 Pocohantas offered me her home as a SAFE HOUSE should the therapy not be effective and violence happen again. A few days later I came called her and drove to find her house, sure not to have its address or phone # written anywhere. I met her as we had agreed and she showed me a key and I packed a bag and left it there. The fourth time I spoke to her was to pick up our bags that I had left there and to tell her we were heading to NY.
It was then only the fifth time I ever really talked to her when I showed up at her home taking her up on her offer of two years earlier. I knew she was a person who meant what she had said.
Its an amazing thing to think about how their goodness was such a shining light in this. It makes me literally cry out of such gratitude and emotion when I think of that. I haven't cried over this all much as I tend to have to be strong, and express emotion more in the rushed neurotic sounding ranting of writing and venting to friends in the few moments I get the opportunity to let my defenses down. Other than that I have to be strong and functionally healthy and just let it all rest and wait until I can afford to let it come out. (Oh yeah.. and it also comes out when I ramble to my attorney! That is the empathetic but tough one. She's got a great personality with that combination that I admire!)
The disappointment of not being able to travel today was tempered by meeting a friend for coffee this morn. That was really lovely! I have a coffee date now once a week with this new friend, which is perfect as afterwards the little ones and I head over to our Bible Study.
Today I laughed as we headed over to the class and we realized that there was no BIBLE CLASS today as they followed the school calendar and this was initially a scheduled day off. OOPS! It was still a lovely morning and we headed home to play outside.