2008-06-17 - 7:27 p.m.

As a writer, credibility is of the utmost importance.

I read a recent article written by a mother which I really enjoy.

The only problem was, that because I trust her as a writer, I ignored the one hint that she may not have used thorough journalistic research to find out ALL THERE WAS POSSIBLE about her topic.

You see, there was a hint of lack of credibility that I SENSED, but just IGNORED because I Love her writing and therefore I TRUST HER.

Therefore, I ignored my better judgment at her advice to "Throw some frozen meatballs in a crock pot"

I should have known better. For I really AM a Crock Pot Cooker. I think I exposed her lack of research, and the reality that even though she KNOWS a crock pot is a great time saving tool, she never really got around to being THAT organized to REALLY use one. For you see, I followed her advice, and afterwards am now pretty sure she has NEVER thrown frozen meatballs into a Crockpot.

But how could she fail to RECOMMEND the use of such a marvelous invention as a crock pot to frazzled families hoping to have meals ready -VOILA-when they arrive home?
You see it is her JOB to write about the best efforts mom's can make!

She couldn't be so neglectful as to ignore such sage advice...even though she likely never REALLY uses hers, which may be gathering dust in her basement. Maybe hers is used as a kind of impromptu basket for games of improvised basketball to catch flying pairs of socks the kids fling when they are SUPPOSED to be folding laundry... Maybe her crock pot REALLY bit the dust as she proudly attempted to master its use to the greatest efficiency and placed it on top of the stove top one day attempting to re-heat contents of a twice leftover culinary creating; however her proud moment was shattered along with the crock pot as she recalled that quick changes of temperature can cause glass to crack.

After having to then clean up the stove top, taking apart every one of those damn burners, and cleaning out under them, only to then have the puzzle of how to put them together perplex her; to be further demoralized when one of those wise ass kids comes along and puts them in like its a piece of cake was perhaps just too much for that mom...

Perhaps it was cathartic to ditch that crock pot out in the trash along with expectations of being the perfectly organized mom....

Anyway, except for the part about a kid figuring out how to put back the burners, I really DID have such a crock pot mishap! And it really was a marvelous venison stew that spewed all over the kitchen of the old man I was caring for who I thought would enjoy some! And interestingly, it was because it was suggested I just heat the pot on the stove rather than transfer the contents into a metal pot as I had been about to do, that the pot was broken. I even said "I think it could crack" but was reassured it shouldn't and it was a moment of ignoring my own wisdom and relying on the advice of someone else when I HAD KNOWN BETTER.

I however found the whole bursting of the brand new pot after just one use hilarious in the moment. I WAS ALSO LATER GRATEFUL that SEARS has such a wonderful return policy that they let me exchange it for another: Even after my honest telling of the story which revealed its breaking was not due to any imperfection of the pot, but my own foolish imperfection. I thanked them for taking back an item damaged by the users limitations (a.k.a "Stupidity" by some)

But back to why I DID have a hint at that little bit of lack of credibility in the fantastic mom writer's article:

The tip of putting FROZEN meatballs in a crock pot SHOULD have been a tip off...

You seem, it takes all day to cook a lovely piece of RAW meat. Frozen meatballs are ALWAYS PRECOOKED. They do take about 30 to 45 minutes on a low simmering stove top to HEAT THROUGH.

I had read the article, and my total trust in the writer led my thinking to be:

"GEE I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD DO THAT! I THOUGHT THEY WOULD BURN.HOW EASY ,I'LL HAVE TO TRY THAT!"

So I put in my frozen meatballs, covered with a few jars of sauce, and turned that pot onto LOW.

We suffered through the burnt offerings tonight.

And it made me realize I HAVE TO BREAK THIS HABIT I have noticed recently of TRUSTING other's words and ignoring my own judgment. I am not sure WHEN I started to think and react in that manner. I know it was a PROCESS of the change, which occurred over years of being told I was not credible. First OTHERS started to believe it, and I have learned that no one is IMMUNE to the attacks of others. I used to think I was too strong to be affected when my credibility was constantly attacked.
Now I KNOW BETTER. EVEN THE STRONGEST PERSON CAN BECOME WEAK IF ATTACKED OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

When younger I used to question EVERYTHING, but have noticed of late that somehow my BRAIN got TRAINED to not have confidence and trust in myself, EVEN WHEN MY EXPERIENCE TELLS ME BETTER.

Let that be a lesson to us all: Credibility is of the utmost importance for us when we speak and write. We never know who will rely on our wisdom.

But most of all, learn to rely on your own wisdom first, without questioning yourself.

YOU ARE CREDIBLE.

I AM CREDIBLE.

The cracks in the crock pot only validate that credibility of our inner wisdom, for it is when we don't believe and listen to ourselves that things become broken.

When we listen to that inner wisdom with certitude and refuse to question ourselves, the brokenness of our lives miraculously will be healed.
We'll get a new crock pot, a new job, or whatever it is we are seeking.

I am convinced of that truth, and convinced we must face each fissure as evidence of how strong we really are.

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