2010-02-14 - 7:14 a.m.
Good thing I hibernated at home one Thu and waited for Pocohontas to get here to watch the girls, as on Fri morn I got stuck in Leesburg right in front of her house there!
So much for having made it in early to work a half day. My van was blocking a neighboring lady and her daughter. The hill and ice was too much to take and my van had slipped BACK into a snowbank rather deeply.
So it was then something to witness "Girl Power" to the rescue!
Pocohontas brought out cardboard which we put under the tires to create a surface with traction.
All those Buffalonians: Add some cardboard to the car in winter as I am telling you that works AWESOME when getting over ICE.
OH WAIT...in Buffalo that problem doesn't present itself as there the city is prepared and salts and plows.
Here it is SO Very different as they do not have the equipment and salt to handle this much ice and snow.
Maybe that is why Buffalo has remained one of the more economically depressed cities over the years!
The money has to go to snow removal rather than that which are long term investments!
But there is no OIL as in Alaska to balance that economic picture.
Buffalo however has THE ARTS which I think are as rich a treasure as any other and in the end create a quality of life that is worth MORE than those with any economic boom.
IT is great.
But I digress, I am sure as getting comments from all those Canisius Grads down her how much they have missed Buffalo these past few weeks! (There are a few FEDS working and living in MD and Arlington areas. Funny is that the ones in Arlington perceive me as living so far away and I think its awesome they are so close! But they were city folks so this still is the boonies to them! Funny as I drive to Arlington for things like getting my hair done for free at by the students doing their final coloring test at the Red Door Salon, or to go to a drumming circle, etc.... but haven't yet ventured out to see friends and a cousin who lives there more than a couple of rare occasions.)
But I digress..
The site of the ladies and girls digging out my car was inspiring as I was on the phone on HOLD for a long time with overtaxed AAA. I then hung up to go out and help push as under Pocohontas' direction the van was almost free.
It worked and then both the neighbor and I backed up and were able to take the hill at speed enough to make it over!
Rules of driving change when there is ice.
I learned that after getting stuck in Leesburg when I stopped for a pedestian to cross, and then they didn't cross after all!
(There are no sidewalks now so I stopped thinking it was not very safe!)
The pedestrian Did however continue on their way, and there I was stuck on Loudoun Street the other morning. That was earlier in the week. That morn I had ALSO been stuck in front of Porohontas'- so I should have known better than to try to drive there without four wheel drive! There was LESS SNOW then, so earlier in the week two guys just helped and it wasn't as much of an ordeal getting out. (I was however late for the court date on the tardiness that MORN!!)
New legal jargon learned this week that I had not previously known: "Demmur" Reading the order drafted by opposing counsel after our hearing I noted "Demmur?" and he said "That is actually what you filed, although you didn't call it such" I laughed and said "Thanks. Maybe that will be a point or two on the next BAR exam. If lucky it shows up in repetition and it might even be worth more!" This is actually great! I was really only 15 points shy of passing that BAR Exam. Learning of the meaning of vocab that I understood conceptually but didn't know what it was called should at least get me 15 points. (of course I KNEW what a Demurr was AT ONE point, but had forgotten. Once again, after all my study in law school it will be the WICKIPDIA definition that I read after an EXPERIENCE I have undertaken which will be the one I REMEMBER! And to top it off I HAD THE WORD SLIGHTLY OFF.. and note the CORRECT SPELLING! HA HA... ( FROM WIKIPEDIA: A 'demurrer' is a pleading in a lawsuit that objects to an earlier pleading filed by an opposing party. The word 'demur' means to object; a 'demurrer' is the document that makes the objection. Typically, the defendant will demur to the complaint, but it is also possible for plaintiff to demur to an answer. The demurrer challenges the "legal sufficiency" of a claim, cause of action, or defense. If a cause of action in a complaint does not state a cognizable claim or if it does not state all the required elements, then the complaint can be knocked out with a demurrer. A demurrer is filed near the beginning of a case during the pleading phase.")
I still don't know procedure, but truth be told as I would NEVER open show with a sign for GENERAL PRACTICE Solo I won't ever need to know standard civil procedure! If I work solo in Immigration I am quite capable as I know THAT arena's procedure inside and out. It's a totally different court system.
I however have the tendancy to just do it and THEN learn there is a proper way LATER. Typical of the ADHD personality- focus on GETTING IT DONE (as if we don't it WON't GET DONE as we will FOGET!)
Then later we learn the RIGHT WAY To get it done, or what the thing we just did is REALLY CALLED and the thing is that we then have the ability to Get it done the RIGHT WAY in the future.
Ce la vie..
The funny part about that is that in the initial moment of trying something new, the ADHD person NEVER realizes that there is some STANDARD NORMAL SOCIAL MORE MISSED of how this thing was done in the past. So when the judge said "File a Response and gave me the hearing it didn't occur to me I was missing SOME Proper Jargon.
At times the ADHD person is so motivated and excited by a wonderful Brainstorm of an idea they forge ahead with enthusiasm and don't even realize that the thing was ALREADY DONE by someone else at all!
I love to laugh at that tendency.
It is somewhat amusing!
* And I have learned in my PROFESSIONAL life to ASK before leaping into a project.
USUALLY I am TOLD if there is already someone handling it concurrently or previously!
** With only those RARE occasions when someone passive aggressively ASKS me to pick up something and work on it only to later find out that for SOME reason someone else already had it.
That has happened. Of course I at times have made a mistake and picked up something already being worked AS WELL myself- but BOTH have happened. I try to be forgiving of both myself and others when either happens!
Difference in being an adult is that now when the few moments of another person setting me up to make the mistakes I need NO HELP in making on my OWN and work REALLY HARD NOT TO MAKE DAILY happens I am AWARE that there is a certain propensity in people (even adults) to at time like to TEASE the person in their ADHD world and then kinda get a kick out of watching them in their enthusiasm "Wander on the Farm" as my old boss would call it.
She was just SWEET and and AWESOME BOSS as she would say:
"Don't go wandering on the Farm"
which I just LOVED the expression of. I love that she UNDERSTOOD me and supported me and ACCEPTED my weaknesses with the ability to ADDRESS Them head on in what I thought was a very effective manner.
Thus the beauty of a second set of eyes.
SO NOW I KNOW OUR INTERNAL PROCESSES and PROCEDURES At work and I have no trouble following them and don't have that tendency to "Wander on the Farm" at work.
I believe I am Efficient and a "Get it Done" person as I recognize issues and know who to vet them to. I have an understanding of our organization that took a while to fully GET, but at least now I GET it.
Others at times for some perverse reason find it FUN to send me off the beaten path and kinda laugh from the sidelines.
So I am GRATEFUL that I DO Work with a really lovely group of TEAM PLAYERS who are not of that tendency for the most part.
As when that teasing happens it is very hurtful. At least when I was a child I was SO COMPLETELY unaware of that tendency in people. I never realized until YEARS LATER that when anyone at high school told me the schedule of the day and I ended up being called to the office for cutting class that there was a malicious INTENT on the part of the girls who ACTIVELY went out of their way to tell me something NOT TRUE and must have laughed each time they heard me called to the Deans office.
AMAZING BACK THEN NO TEACHER'S RECOGNIZED ADHD!
My quality of work at this point HAS increased and improved and my ability to be productive and an asset to our company was nurtured well by my old boss. I LOVED working with her. I have been lucky to then have had the direction and help of the one attorney who the word on the street was WANTED to continue to have a direct report. I think perhaps the others don't care for her as much due to her limitations but I can be forgiving of those as I know that her direction and assistance and kind personal interest in Mentoring me to the extent she can has been GENUINELY KIND in my case. She has been thoughtful at times. She has been understanding and I have continued to grow from the working relationship with her.
We also have an Legal administrator who is our peer that is just amazingly organized. I love taking tips from her and have observed things like how she color coded her files and organizes her work and then emulated her system. The really funny part is that I arranged for us to have more filing space as I NEEDED it.. and we are all benefiting from it. We have a great working relationship so have both said if either is working an acct feel free to just pull the file (of course while communicating with the other!) if we ever need a file the other had previously worked on.
So the one file cabinet space has both her files and mine in it and its kinda funny to look at them both. You can visually SEE just by looking at those which of us has the organizational skills! Hers are NEAT and lined up with labels in symmetry.
EVEN THOUGH I converted to the color coding system after that tip was on a Time Management workshop and then I realized SHE USES that method of file organization- mine are bursting full of LOTS of content and the labels are not aligned, here and there, left right middle indiscriminately- compared to her symmetry.
I have to keep the content of the deal history of any that we work frequently as otherwise I DON'T RECALL the deal!
She on the other hand saves only the final work product and the initial request for contract paperwork.
Under the recent stress I had a couple of moments where I was called to discuss something without a prior appointment scheduled for such.
I was STARTLED that in the moment I had NO RECOLLECTION of the details of a deal I had so intimately worked and KNOWN inside and out weeks before.
It all came back to my memory after about a half hour. But it was like my brain is a slow computer that was just not making the connections at first.
That was a little scary for me.
It DID come back.
And I think it was scary as I usually manage my work and life such that those moments don't happen so OTHERS actually see them to the extent they occurred when under this stress the past few months.
So I felt more EXPOSED.
Shouldn't be that scary as I am sure this is not any different than the way I my brain has worked all my life.
And the knowledge DOES come back.
So I just take the time to prepare for my work. I stay late as needed and when I can I come in early to provide the extra time required to achieve to the best of my ability.
That is nothing new. I did that all through college.
Friday nights were spent studying after dinner until 10am and then I would go out for a few hours. Saturday mornings when everyone else was sleeping in after partying much harder and longer I was up and outside at 8am studying.
But for the one glass of wine on my 21rst birthday. (I recall the kicking short story emulating King Lear that I cranked out that night- so motivated by the space and time I was in. Its such a BUFFALO story now that I think of it. Cordelia became an artist not accepted by her Father who wanted her to peruse a PRACTICAL career! My professor LOVED it. Rather than analyze King Lear, I just demonstrated knowledge of the elements Shakespeare used by handing that in and received an "A" )
I love those who are willing to let those of us who are different and creative THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX on occasion as we are so naturally inclined to do.
We work damn hard to remained contained and IN THE BOX most of the time!
This weekend I realized that I really need to remain a complete non drinker when out with the RARE Exception of a glass of red wine when home.
I had just ONE Cosmo on Friday night.
It was a lovely fun beautiful pink drink with DRY ICE in the middle creating these amazing fizzing bubbles.
It was SO MUCH FUN to watch that I joked
I immediately thought how much DELIGHT Colin the young man I worked with for years at Autisic Services would have had just looking at that drink.
It brought ME delight in looking at the pink and blue swirls of color with the bubbling of white clouds erupting throughout it.
But the thing is, Pocohontas, in her so very OBVIOUS and ridiculous manner of trying to be EMMA (didn't she learn ANYTHING from that story??)
Pocohontas had just DITCHED me with this dude's friend and the group of friends he had brought.
Now the thing is that I HAD A DRINK. Pocohantas has her standard Cranberry juice.
So then it was time to go(for the gentleman who had a professional accreditation exam on Sat AM, and was heading to his hotel where the exam was held early the next AM.)
And I was left there with this gentleman offering to walk me to the car.
Now what is so very hilarious about her social orchestration is this...
1. My naivety
ALL OF TEN FEET TO MY CAR which I had parked RIGHT OUT FRONT of the establishment.
I then PARKED and got out for a lovely stroll ALONE to find somewhere for a cup of coffee until I felt READY to drive home!
I am telling you, one drink does me in!
I has a nice chat with the two Fairfax officers patrolling the area asking them where I could go for coffee at that time of night.
*SEE SMART AND SAFE... They then met me, talked and it made me feel like I was being careful and cautious.
It actually was a great place for a 1AM stroll. We were at Reston Town Center and I was surprised at how hopping it was. IT was however the week after the snow storm when folks were cooped in so there were ALOT of people out and about.
I found out the next day that Pocohontas and the rest of the crew were DANCING not far from the UNOS where I found my cup of coffee and needed hour plus before driving home.
WHEW.. there is a REASON I am predominately a non drinker.
I was just SO WIPED OUT AFTER THAT NIGHT OUT!
Yesterday was a lazy day of needed rest.
At 4:30 pm I took a bath, talked on the phone thinking I was taking a nap. Nice chat with both Soren and Katarina, brief chats to connect with Pocohontas and tell her "NO I can't do it again tonight! Once every other month out with you is more than enough! I can't keep up with your energy level!"
I was asleep by 7:30 pm and out for the count.
I awoke this morn- rested, I THINK...
Hey and the latest happy development with "The Date" is that he has a date with his WIFE for Valentine's Dinner! LOL as is seems his new psudoname may have to be changed!( Although the "date" was NICER than "One of the girls!" which is how we joked about him before! We all said Why is his wife upset as he is just "one of the girls" He was just part of our small social group as his WIFE included him in it and then SHE MOVED!) I am happy for them both to be trying to work it out! She moved out almost eight months ago. Being snowed in was good for them this week. They are focusing on trying to see if they can fix their marriage! I think that is just great! I have been in touch with both of them and she was gracious and thanked me for a nice e-mail I sent encouraging her that we really want her to be happy - but remember she MOVED OUT of this neighborhood and he is still here. She recognized it is just silly for her to be jealous when he is a kind friend that can be of help if I need someone to loosen that one last stuck lugnut when I was changing a tire...etc, and that its NORMAL for him to still be part of our social world and get together as friends on occasion. I had invited her to our bowling outing a few weeks back and she realizes that her friends are not abandoning her! He is a good, forgiving and faithful man so I hope she works through her issues and just moves back home and they can learn to be happy after moving on beyond what one day I see as having just been another rough patch in their now twenty two year marriage! Truth is that his friends are all applauding his ability to be loving and forgiving and accepting of her, AS WELL as being a friend of HERS Who are loving and accepting of her even though we do not always agree with and sanction the choices she has made in life.