2010-04-26 - 7:31 a.m.

Excellent site on Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

The only thing I can figure I actually have which attracts Narcissists to me is that I am actually a HAPPY person with inner peace through turmoil due to my strong FAITH.

I really think that is it in a nutshell. Its the envy of my USUAL inner peace and a happiness- which is what first attracts and then brings up that envy and anger when it can't be captured.

Narcissists likely have hard time understanding that the key is the power and paradox of PRAYER. Really - its the letting go, the submission, the "THY WILL BE DONE" moment.

If one can't spiritually get that ever, one can never also likewise learn to compromise and let go of their own EGO when in relationship with others.

Some without a strong faith get it in that perspective- in their relationship with others... which I see as a microcosm of the bigger picture, but STILL GOOD. They recognize someone other than themselves as paramount and the drive...the source and sustaining energy.

I wondered again at the attraction TO ME however, as there is a fly buzzing around... or trying to... who I am keeping at bay who MOST DEFIANTLY is a NARCISSIST. Yet I still try to set a boundary and try to be a friend to the extent I can and feel comfortable (unless there is no respect of boundaries and it is not possible.)
I also know that the narcissist will quickly move on and lose interest once it is apparent I don't let those boundaries be crossed, and I don't let my issues be taken on, and don't let myself be "saved" or "taken care of" as narcissists like to do to feed their own ego.

But I think "DAMN am I projecting VULNERABLE??"

I HOPE NOT!!

At this point I can so clearly recognize the traits and know to NOT BE SUCKED IN.

I recognize the self inflated ego, the self promotion, the putting down of others etc... The veiled anger and self hatred that is masked by shallow, meaningless things attempted to be said and done not for the OTHER but to bolster the narcissist's ego. The narcissist will meet you and (as a single woman if he is interested) will be the one who goes overboard with grandiose expressions- flowers, gifts, cooking, doing EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING they can (if you let them in your world and let them cross boundaries and take on your issues, responsibilities etc...)
and that initial flooding can at FIRST feel love LOVING CARE.

Its amazing.

I told my friend the "date" to try to just FLOOD his wife with the attention she craves in that over the top way (as he is HEALTHY) and maybe she might respond... since she seems to fall for that...

Try to harness all the disingenuous act of those type of men and do them for your WIFE YOU LOVE!

Its a great tactic and I think working, as for some reason we woman DO get deceived that those actions MEAN ANYTHING. * HA HA Ok from him to his wife they REALLY Will mean something. He is trying!

Seriously however, I wonder if anyone can ever break through to the narcissist so they can see themself.

Here is a great site on this topic:

http://www.videojug.com/interview/narcissistic-personality-disorder

And THANK GOD I now at least recognize when a narcissistic person comes my way!

Thank God for my healthy friends!

SO HAPPY to have the Marine, and a few others in my life. ( Ok maybe he is a LITTLE narcissistic too... but he KNOWS the ways he is LOL! Kinda like me, just a few TRAITS once in a rare while...)Difference is that he is so very self aware that it is just WONDERFUL and easy to accept his imperfections as he has the moral character and empathy to others to at least KNOW when his marine veneer has kicked in. In actuality he became a marine as it was likely a good fit for that veneer he already had! He and his sister are hilarious when they joke about it.

I LOVE imperfect people who can use humor to laugh at their own limitations.
I always laugh and feel a bit lighter after time or a conversation with my Marine friend. That is one of the best things.

Many friends are still in Buffalo so I have to reach out to connect- but at least there are a few who make their way here and I have a few friends here in VA which is wonderful.

Darn its already 7:40- getting late. I got up early to take care of prep for the Mediation session today and then head to the office.

Back to work as I want to get this prep done, and go FOCUS at work in peace knowing I am prepared for a few hours before moving on to the next thing on my agenda.

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