2010-09-15 - 8:57 a.m.
I am glad I am a writer. At a low moment I can read my own positive thoughts and uplift myself-so even if no one else is ever inspired this is so good for me.
I was reminded today how the most important thing is that kids know they are loved by BOTH parents.
For that reason, even thought when I have shown up to sporting events of the girls' when they are in their Dad's care to be greeted with
I know that child, now 6, REALLY LOVES me and it is more important than anything in the world that she KNOWS UNEQUIVOCALLY that I LOVE HER and she and her siblings ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN THE WORLD TO ME.
Kids don't really care WHERE they live, or what food they are fed, or what clothes and toys they have in the end. In the end what is MOST IMPORTANT for their well being is the TIME and RELATIONSHIP AND LOVE OF PARENTS there for them.
So at this juncture, even though when I did ask to talk to the girls all I got was an "I don't want to talk to you" from the 9 year old; I know that is not PERSONAL as she is often focused on something else. So I was GLAD she can be honest about not wanting to talk in that moment without fear of not being accepted and loved by me and I hung up the phone after that brief interaction with a smile that she is comfortable being herself and letting her desires be known!
That is SO important for her well being!
And it is SO IMPORTANT for her well being that she has this SAFE RELATIONSHIP with me in which she can play out all her anger.
I know her anger is not ABOUT or AT me. I understand she directs it at me as she in the end feels the most SECURITY in the relationship with me to so do.
So I know I have to make effort to go to every game I can and ignore the attacks that the children fling, as they are really not THIER attacks but they are being unduly influenced.
No child would utter "I HATE YOU" unless they were TAUGHT to hate.
Fortunately in the end, I am convinced that love is stronger than hate and one can not be convinced to hate another when they do have opportunity to know the person.
My children DO KNOW ME, so they will no be able to do anything other than love me as I love them, despite any attempts to thwart that.
This is my pep talk as I so understand why some parents are not strong enough to undergo the constant attack and just give up.
I get it.
But I am stronger than that.