2014-01-22 - 7:57 a.m.

I will likely write often now as I have a new laptop and need to essentially get used to writing on it so it is comfortable as it was purchased primarily so I can use it for the BAR Exam.

My handwriting is somewhat doctor like. I think OK, but have been told others may have a hard time reading it so I thought it was a good idea to sign up to take the essay portion of the exam on a laptop.

So the laptop arrived, I opened it up and my first thought was "Hmmm this is not 15 ". It was definitely smaller than expected. Looks about the size of an 8.5 X11 piece of paper. I wasn't flustered as I knew immediately what had to have happened.

The ADHD moment of the week (last week) consisted of spending much time picking out the perfect laptop in my budget, then putting it in the cart at Dell, which like most places will only hold it for 15 minutes. The next (likely 16) minutes consisted of figuring out how to move money so that there was enough accessible in accounts to buy it. I had realized there was a short window of when to register and order the software for the Exam before the license cost goes up $50, so in an effort to hit that timeframe and not have to pay more I thought I best order a laptop and hope it arrived in time. I had read the info on the software ordering but missed the part that you could click "download only" if you ALREADY had registered for it- so I actually COULD have just registered to take the exam on a laptop and not rushed my order. I did rush the order however... If you call 16 or so minutes of scrambling and moving money rushing. Some may consider it SLOW as of course I the cart was empty when I made it back to that page.

No trouble- I re-loaded and scrolled and found my $445 laptop.

Except it apparently is not THE $445 laptop I had previously found. Now I KNOW they change inventory quickly and I KNOW Better than to assume-- yet there you have it, in the ADHD moment of last week I just clicked "Add to Cart" and did not carefully notice the specs were different.

At least it has the required operating system to run the exam software.

I am also kinda digging the touch screen after getting the hang of it. It seems just fine and will meet my needs even though it has the software to run DVDs on it but not any CD/DVD player which I found kinda funny until I realized external drives are not uncommon for these uber small "laptops" which are more like a large tablet with a keyboard attached.

So as for the testing typing here- I am liking the keyboard and can type comfortably and quickly which is really all that matters. It will do for the exam.

In other news which is truly funny, I have an interview set up with the third company I said I hoped would contact me this week. I just said that wishfully- not really thinking I would hear from them as it has been a while and lo and behold last night opened mail to get a request for an interview (again). As I know they are the ones who set salary based on other offers in the market and they were not interested because they hope to find someone lower than what I indicated I want it is perfect timing to resume that negotiation. Truth is I don't really want to work for them or the other company I was so excited about after having the interview as what I see as the best option overall for a number of reasons. Most of all being that it would just be SO NICE to work with folks that really "GET IT" across the board. I mean I really like the fact that the hiring manager of the smaller company has the diverse background of understanding all the roles of all the players on a team one is supporting.

I think I started to tell in my interview of some examples of my added value but am realizing I would , in my typical circular UNMEDICATED (HA HA) Communication style start a train of thought and get de-railed! Now I always go back... OK ALMOST always go back... and realized I forgot to wrap up one train of thought.

YEs obsessing I think just a little of re-playing the interview.

Replaying the moments where there were things I just COULDN'T SAY very well as I had to limit my responses to respect confidentiality . So I would carefully choose how to give an example from my added value at work, but couldn't end with the punch line so to speak.
Its easy in an interview to indicate when you raised sales revenue, and easy to quote figures of what you brought in. It is much harder to show specific quantitative gains from your work when your work has PREVENTED major losses.

My work prevented loss for the company plain and simple. I know that- but its harder to quantify, especially when the doing so was because of tightening up discovered holes. One can't TALK about the holes. They are the voids that had been ignored but then were tightened up so there was not risk. But its impossible to discuss in an interview without examples which of course I never would give. All I know is I did a fine job and things were better on many accounts, and among some particular service offerings because of my work in the end. Funny a working group was set up to correct a problem I identified and months later were given kudos for it. I found it funny as I started working on the issue and it was taken off my plate and shifted to others, yet when I identified the issues it was the case of skepticism until the trouble was glaring and couldn't be ignored. I was PROUD when the working group which included an attorney on our team solved the issues. I had pride in being part of that process, but once again its the kind of thing that one can't mention in an interview except really generally and cryptically . ESPECIALLY when interviewing with the SAME INDUSTRY, as then confidentiality is so paramount. These are not folks who won't KNOW what I mean. They are not folks who won't KNOW who my former company's providers, subcontractors and customers are. OF COURSE They do if they are worth their salt as they are COMPETITORS. I mean all three companies I am speaking with compete with each other AND my former employer. So its a weird thing to be in an interview and not be able to say anything SPECIFIC about particular work. I have to leave it to the general " I drafted agreements, assisted the first chair attorney in early years, then focused on managing our RFPs".....

The thing is there are SO MANY in this market with that kind of experience and skill set. I WANT To be able to say with clear articulation what I bring uniquely to the table. I think it is that I am RIDICULOUSLY THOROUGH in understanding how technology works and as such then see the holes in the contracts.

That is what I try to articulate- and hope it is clear enough while speaking of my past work in generalizations. Examples would be SO MUCH BETTER but I can't actually give them! SO FRUSTRATING!

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