2015-01-04 - 8:18 a.m.
After finally hashing it out with my gentleman friend I met his kids.
It just became a bit too weird to have dated someone for three years without having met his kids.
I mean even for ME! (HA HA)
I like the delineation of keeping dating life separate from kids alright, but after a certain point logistically it just was becoming bothersome to me that my boyfriend so compartmentalized his life. I got sick of logistical problems that would be more easily solved if he introduced them more to HIS world that I am a part of.
I didn't want to have to push the issue, but when I started to he immediately said
It was just fine.
He pushed to pick them up a bit earlier than usual. Yes he got push back (as he always does with them) but nonetheless he did pick them up earlier.
They came and he had dropped me off at a bagel shop first where I happily engaged in my favorite hobby of incessant study of law. (ITs been Constituational Law In a Flash Cards I have been reviewing when on the bus, at work at a lull, in the coffee shop.)
I never really got to Con LAW the last study session to the extent needed. I in fact listened to ALL of Ameribar lectured prior to the last bar exam and the day AFTER I took the BAR last was the day I listened to the AMERIBAR CON LAW Lecture. I mean it was funny I was in the habit and routine then of studying EVERY DAY for hours so I awoke in the hotel room and just was compelled to listen to it WANTING To not miss out on that one last lecture.
The other thing I ran out of time to do was the MBE practice questions in the database of them that AMERIBAR has on line. I am pleased that after the course ended and my access to the lectures was shut off (WHY OH WHY DO THEY DO THAT??? WHY THE HECK CAN"T ONE PAY FOR A LECTURE SERIES AND WORK THROUGH IT AT THEIR OWN PACE?????), my access to the MBE QUESTION BANK Was not shut off.
ITs rather interesting that between reviewing those, the hard copy books, and another on line tool (BAR PREP HERO), I am now not only seeing patterns in the MBE questions but am hitting the same exact former MBE question in all three formats.
I am at the point where some are familiar. I read and recognize I have worked through that question before.
Strange to me to in a way be studying THE TEST itself. I never fathomed I would have to do that in order to pass as thought if I knew enough substantive law I would be fine.
I have learned I am NOT A CAREFUL READER and I miss details (If I don't read slowly enough) and the test is designed to have WRONG answers for those who can not read carefully QUICKLY. It is designed to weed out those who move too fast and are impulsive and too quick to make decisions on instinct.
Funny as there are books on how to pass the MBE that clearly state this! Those flying by the seat of their pants based on following instinct are apparently deemed to be risky personalities to being a lawyer. Funny to me as I think instinct is a powerful guide and often spot on.
Maybe however it is ONLY impulsive decision making they are trying to weed out, not instinct per se. That seems more accurate.
And a great example of why I have failed the BAR so many times- I need to be more precise with language.
This process of study has helped me learn how I am NOT PRECISE with language.
I have received approval from the VA BOARD OF BAR EXAMINERS to take the exam a sixth time.
I am not inclined to take it until I am passing practice exams with flying colors as they stressed this is the LAST time they will let me sit for it.
They strongly encouraged me to prepare full time ( I did that for a year and a half and HAVE to work at this point!), and to take it when I know I am ready.
Federal Civil Procedure questions are being added onto the MBE section for the first time this year. I have to be sure I am prepared for those questions as well.
So yesterday I enjoyed reading The Poisonwood Bible a while, which is a book I found really troublesome to get into at first. I have started and stopped that a few times- I think by chucking it across the room once in just disgust and thinking "THIS IS NOT ENJOYABLE!" because some of the early depictions of the self important ignorance of evangelization depicted just disgusted me so much that even thought written with HUMOR , I could not go on.
I had read The Bean Trees and LOVED that book by Barbara Kingsolver so resolved to try to give The Poisonwood Bible another chance.
I realized as I took notes in the margins WHY that books early chapters were painful for me to read. Jotted notes and got through them and NOW I think I can enjoy the rest of it.
It was just too much rubbing salt in wounds when I tried to get through that before. Too much of the attitudes I saw around me at times that I hadn't formerly understood existed and didn't want to be reminded of when trying to RELAX with a good read. I couldn't read that book when seeking a peaceful ESCAPE.
But at this point I can read it with enjoyment. I can think of the preacher in Violet when I read it....
We enjoyed lunch at a place in Leesburg I thought they would like. A sandwich sports spot that had a nice view and GREAT sandwiches.
I then got driven back home in time to get ready for my deli gig.
Worked the shift with the soup Nazi who was very nice last night. The last time I closed the store with him was a hoot- We had gotten along all evening as it was particularly slow so he said in his Authoritarian , Mediterranean, Old World manner "IT is slow, so we clean."
Then he proceeded to tell me what to do and I did it.
He took a cigarette break, came back and it was slow and he went around shopping for stuff he was going to buy later. I proceeded to continue to do extra cleaning as we had no customers (This was New Years Day).
It was rather funny to me when at 9:30 the soup Nazi started YELLING AT ME for having done so! It was comical how he got flustered and immediately started to take over finishing the LAST part of my job that I do each night of cleaning the last remaining opened slicer. As the deli is open until store closing, the last slicer cleaned is done by design by me in the last possible fifteen minutes. It was a riot to watch the aggressive controlling personality do someone else's work and get himself angered out of his CHOICE To do so. I quietly just told him he chose to do that and pointed out when he was done that it took him 15 min and we still had 15 min left and I was done with my extra cleaning of the case. I said that he made a choice to be angry and a choice to act like a martyr doing my work when there was no need to, but thanked him for doing it as I now didn't have to.
I told him HEY anytime you want to lack confidence in me and do my work because you are compelled- HAVE AT IT, I won't be upset or take it personally as I know that is his issue of worry it won't get done and not at all reflective on my ability and time management in order to get it done timely. I reminded him I left that for last as we are SUPPOSED TO.
He said "I won't interfere anymore in your work" And kind of huffed off.
The next time I worked with him I was on a 10-6 shift the very next day and he just sort of avoided me at first but as the day went on warmed up. He is right that I am not GREAT at time management and leave things for the last moment at times and HAVE BEEN LATE getting out at times ( but heck that was by a few minutes the first few weeks!), but calling him on what were his issues and not deficiencies in my work was a big help as I have not been poor in management of my time once I got used to the job.
Its just funny how people have a hard time seeing themselves.
He thought one new lady yelled at him and was really volatile and told me about it. She had told me he barked at her and she echoed him back in her response with tone of voice. He said "don't ever talk to me like that again" so is very obviously unaware that is how HE COMES ACROSS in his communication.
He does have a strong work ethic that is for sure, but clearly needs to be the one in control.
But in personality- is in fact hilariously like the soup Nazi with his accent and appearance.
The truth is I like him as in the six weeks I have learned about him as a person and he is a GOOD person. He is just rough around the edges more than some when he thinks one is not working. Its that affliction of having to be working and productive all the time! Funny to watch....just so old world in so many ways. This man also ran his own Deli for 23 years before he sold it. He therefore worked for himself for those years and its hard to not be in charge for him. Its amusing to me to watch when he does things like calls all the female workers "Girl" and the guys we work with "Man" and says "Here baby" when he gives a girl a sample of a cut of cheese or meat. I have mentioned that my girls would be appalled if he called them baby and he said "They are all babies! Why does everyone want to grow up so fast!" ( There was a young girl about age 10 at the counter getting the meat for her family) He said to the girl " What is more beautiful in the world than babies? They are all babies until grown." The to me said "She is smart, she knows not to be offended"
It was a funny exchange as I said " OH my girls would be offended as they are at that age where they don't want to be thought of as babies"
His delivery is never in a CREEPY WAY of "Hey baby...." at least
It is just like working with a guy at a deli in some Mediterranean county a hundred years ago-- funny to me as somehow not one customer has ever been offended it seems , I think there have been no complaints, and people seem to GET HIM and forgive his quirks.
I liked him when after one break he came back and said "DARN I couldn't smoke my cigarette as there was a big family with lots of KIDS out there!"
He couldn't set the bad example.
It was kind of sweet and showed that he actually does have concern for other people. Once again, I find myself around someone with a big heart but a gruff manner which at first makes it hard to see through the armor.
It was pleasant working with him last night however. AT least he is a hard worker and predictable in his limitations. He was very supportive when I told him of my study of the law and aspirations. I had mentioned it as I have another interview for an immigration paralegal, this time in MD.
I wanted to get the skinny on commuting there as this man drives here to work at my local deli from MD.
That says a lot about the job market here.
I am grateful to have the jobs I do have, and also happy to have another interview , this time for an immigration paralegal which is the work I would so love to do. I think that there may be a reasonable bike route to a train that I can take so I won't have to go in the red running a car.
If I land the paralegal job it too will be crappy pay and not enough to get by on in reality. However it is worth it to me to do what I aspire to and with the tenant and other part time work will work out just fine.
I haven't studied in earnest and sat for that CFCM Exam but really also need to do that JUST As a backup plan. I have started but then got busy starting jobs out of necessity and time for BAR review takes priority. The thing is I SHOULD just focus on that CFCM to knock it out of the way as it is really a much smaller , attainable goal that I am close to achieving. Trouble is that I have to PAY for that professional exam and not really overjoyed to be a contract manager it seems not a great investment unless I have no other option. This month I needed to invest in repair of my roof which just took priority!
My big gift this Christmas was new shingles and repair of rotted wood installed on DEC 31 on the roof and a new window sill on the front of my home!! WHOO HOOO!!!
At least that is done. Next house project when I can afford to do it is a new front door and whole rotted out door frame that needs replacement. The paint feel off just this week that was covering the foam filler and rock hard that I patched the wood with where I removed the dry rot. Today I will go give it a new coat of paint to hide that mess for the time being if it is not too wet out as it has been raining.