2015-03-08 - 10:58 a.m.
This should not have required a study to figure out, but alas a study has been done. Abuse in early childhood affects lifelong health.
Important for many to realize messages sent to kids that they are worthless cause damage. Cursing and yelling cause damange. Temperence is essential if one wants to not only be healthy themself but also raise healthy kids.
I felt that although seemingly obvious it is worth a reminder once in a while as some sometimes have moments of needing that bit of help or reminders to be mindful of their own behavior.
Thankfully I live a life free of abuse and my children are all learning how to as well. They occassional act abusive to me or each other but are aware when that occurs that it is unacceptable and thankfully that is now the anomoly rather than the norm.
Pattern ARE hard to break but the change can occur when effort is made to do things differently.
Its nice to see a family (part of my family) system that seems to have grown to learn to do things differently.
Apprechiation for all those who did the painful work of pointing out areas needing strengthening, even when it meant temporarily (at the least, and I hope it was only temporary), they were cut out off the system and not accepted. As family systems and the people heal within them,those schisms sometimes also heal. Sometimes one who left (such as in divorce) remains separate, but even then it is STILL Wonderful when healing occurs and there is no longer a wall of defensiveness. Its those who are more immediate members of a family system- the blood relations who get cut out when they point out dysfunction, that I hope can be fogiven and THANKED someday for their hard work of a needed shake up to change things. The nosy aunts and bossy siblings, the parent or in laws who butt in but point out when they see abuse EVEN IF it means for a time there is not communication with them., That is REAL tough love, being willing to love with honestly of pointing out errors in a loving manner even if you might be rejected. The love that places value on treatment of others and demands respect for self and others and does not accept abuse and take it a step further of trying to help others see when they are crossing lines into abuse. That intervention is both so needed and often not welcomed so here's to all those who try to intervene even at their own expense in the moment. The payback is often that the messenger is attacked, used as a scapegoat and discredited- but be that messenger of love and messenger of how to respect others anyway.
Here's to breaking barriers of defensiveness so family's can stop cycles of abuse and learn to be loving without harm.
Here's to the moment of healing when reminders are NOT needed anymore, and the inclination to share such reminders doesn't happen as abuse is such a distant part of the past that it is virtually no longer a concern.
I believe we can all get there someday if we embrace the process of healing.