2015-06-11 - 5:38 p.m.
I have said I should write a book on what NOT to say or do in interviews when job hunting.
Here is my top 10 list
10. Stare blankly in response to the question
"What are your personal goals"
for what feels like forever, and say
"I don't know"
9. In response to the question "Is there anything that I should know about you?"
Blurt out "Yes, Since this is a three person very small team, and you do seem about to hire me, I think you do have to know I am bi-polar. It manifests in being hypo-manic, I am not depressive, never have been, but I am truly that high energy upbeat personality ALL THE TIME. Some really do well with that kind of energy, but some find it really exhausting to be around and draining.
(Maybe that should be #1? I know this is sad but I DID blurt that out about a year ago), ending what I believe WOULD have been a job offer for a lead contract negotiator for a company creating the role to take the burden off the sales director. Thing is it really WAS a three person team! Would have been ME and one other contract manager and I would have handled negotiations and mentored her and while I clicked with the sales director- himself that typical hypomanic kinda guy the VC folk placed in his role when they took over both funding and management of this company, I sensed then that the existing CM I would be expected to mentor in negotiation and I just were NOT going to gel. YES I BLEW IT ! Self sabotage? I still wonder about that fear of failure/fear of success psychology stuff when it comes to blowing what had been an otherwise great interview process! )
8. When the HR Director asks the question "Do you have any questions for us?"
Respond
"Yes. I notice on all your advertisement literature there is not a person who looks a day over thirty. Is that indicative of a hiring trend or is that just a marketing decision?"
( I have no idea WHY that irritated me so much, except the company I was interviewing with had not only what I felt was an irritatingly YOUNG culture ("WHoo hoo we go rock climbing and play paint ball for team building" as an example of how they market how COOL it is to work there... "work here because it is FUN!!!!" ... ), but I think also the fact they were offensively low balling on the salary for what they were seeking that I think my question was just a passive aggressive way of saying I was not interested in the job at $40 K less than market rate for an experienced contract manager in this area.
7. TELL The company that they seem to need some help in aligning expectations with reality and send an e-mail with a link to the NCMA as a resource for them to turn to for salary info to help them out in learning what contract managers actually make in this market. (E-mail sent to HR person inquiring if I was interested in the position and wanting to know my salary expectation up front which I find to be tacky to begin with and often a sign the company is not looking for the best talent but looking to find the cheapest labor which I think is very often a sign of a company that will not do well in the long run. I had sent her my expectation and she told me that they were looking at a range $45 K less than market rate! My reply was a version of the above. )
6. BEING HONEST Telling the HR Person that I am not actually what they need. I felt so positive I was about to get a job offer, but then let them know that for the procurement contract management director position of hiring a team for management of contracts, pricing and SLAs for purchasing hardware for their new dept as they enter the cloud computing data management space they REALLY DO NEED someone with a FINANCE and PRICING CONTRACT Management background that understands technology very well (A sales engineer,most likely, considering the technology they were selling), and while I get technology and LEGAL TERMS I am not a number cruncher or technical supervisor but I would gladly help them understand who they need in that space and position as I understood both the technology and business much better than they did. (HR vetting resumes actually had NO CLUE what they needed to look for in seeking someone for that particular role! REALLY! If the HR person doesn't know what to look for in a new manager , it didn't seem like an organized enough venture for me to feel confident about jumping in and providing organization. PROVIDING ORGANIZATION and STRUCTURE IS NOT MY STRONG POINT! Once again, I COULD have landed that job, but alas it was also a low ball salary (the company is known for that according to glassdoor), which I think informed my frank honesty in ending the conversation about my potential employment there (for that particular role) on the third and final interview.
5. Telling the recruiter that if my former employer truly Wants to "RULE THE AIR" then they had best hire the best talent they can find at the market rate. YES I am a perfect fit for MY OLD JOB that dozens of recruiters kept hitting me up for to see if I am interested in for the first few months after I was let go. (They all were hitting me up with the same darn job posting, competing to land the business of placing a short term laborer on contract for a so called "project".) I had a standard response I sent out en mass they can contact me if and when they are willing to give me the equivalent of my OLD salary with benefits OR MORE PER HOUR such that I can purchase benefits. UNLESS they are interested in that rate, I am not interested. I told them "Good luck finding someone to do that job on a "project " basis at less that what I made without full time benefits. Call me back when they get desperate as no one will do that. A few recruiters actually did call me back to continue conversations surprisingly , willing to meet those terms (I am sure UNTIL they passed on my resume and someone at the old company was NOT interested).
4. Blurt out " I would need to buy a car. Sure I am interested, but you know it would mean giving up the freedom I have and the wonderful lifestyle of biking everywhere every day. Herndon is not as bad as D.C. but it WOULD still mean I need a car."
Some things should not be discussed with recruiters. (Why oh why does the filter just NOT WORK and I BLURT OUT THESE THINGS when NOT MEDICATED????? UGH! Again the SELF SABATOGE! YES I am the "reluctant contract manager" as I really DID want to go to law school and help people, but you know I WAS VERY GOOD AT MY JOB. So why the hell do I self sabotage in finding a new one??? Part of growing up is doing things we don't LOVE once in a while just to meet responsibilities! I mean that CAN be done WITH BALANCE! It doesn't mean one is selling their soul and giving up there SELF FOREVER to take a job FOR A WHILE just to meet their family obligations! Its when it BECOMES their life and all they have that taking that kind of job is a spirit and self killer which is not a risk for me I really need to worry about!)
3. When the HR recruiter calls say "YES I suppose I HAVE TO get a REAL job again at some point. I will consider it."
2. When an HR PERSON asks the ILLEGAL QUESTION "Do you have kids" Respond boldly , "Although it is not legal for you to even ASK Me that question, I don't mind answering and letting you know YES I DO."
When she asks "How Many?"
Honestly answer "Six"
* I do think that unprofessionalism on the part of the HR perhaps led to my further passive aggressive responses in the subsequent interview that HR person had been escorting me into. I just WAS NOT impressed with the company from that point on.
# 1 way to blow a job interview
LAUGH
Conveying that you are not serious.
This is likely the #1 mistake I have made.
Most recently the bursting out laughing at the HR recruiter as he tried to fluff up a description of a job to make it sound better than it is , as I laughed and said "OH, you mean they need a short term contract for a document review job? I know what document review is. It's the bottom of the barrel of legal professionals who are essentially washed up in their failed career as lawyers. YEAH I am familiar with that , but its a path I am hesitant to take as I think many get stuck in that rut and frankly I think that job on my resume might be the death of a legal career. I mean it is an act of desperation to take THAT JOB. Two years ago that is the kind of job I said I would NEVER TAKE. But hey (and I laughed here), but its two years later, and I am just not that motivated anymore to job hunt, so YEAH I will take this"
The recruiter said "Well , you would be working for us, so you can phrase it on your resume however you like- legal analyst, contract manager, I don't care"
I said "Oh thanks. Well , for $30 an hour I will take it"
I signed the I ACCEPT so if they win the bid with me as the labor bidded with, I will enter the world of sardines providing document review.
Its a step up from working at a deli for $8.10 an hour, right?
Yet somehow, working at the local supermarket feels more RESPECTABLE to me. I mean I know that it is ludicrous that I would in some ways hold onto the naïve idealism and pay $12.50 a week in UNION DUES at the $8.10 per hour job for AHOLD who IS A LARGE CORPORATION, under the mirage that unions still have some relevance in our world.
I KNOW it makes NO SENSE.
And I know it makes no sense to have LAUGHED at that job .
But I just can't believe that after not landing the contract manager position I was seriously considered for two weeks ago that I WANTED, the same recruiter called back for this position at the same company in what would be a NICE PLACE TO WORK (I THINK)... it was for a DOCUMENT REVIEW PROJECT.
I should have greater respect for document reviewers. But the thing is , that is what the ex attorney I dated has been doing for the past FOUR YEARS. HE does NOT put in effort at job hunting. He is downright LAZY about trying to find something else. He does that because it is EASY for him to move from project to project. He doesn't aggressively TRY to find and land something else. So after NOT HUNDREDS OF APPLICATIONS, but honestly literally over one thousand by now as I was VERY AGRESSIVE in my job hunt for GOOD JOBS for YEARS... after not having really looked at all for the last few months I just somehow found it truly FUNNY that this HR person called about a DOCUMENT REVIEW JOB.I KNOW It was my own PASSIVE AGRESSIVE ANGER at my ex boyfriend's reticence that I launched out in response!!!
Those are jobs I WOULD NOT EVER EVEN APPLY FOR.
I mean there ARE enough other actual contract manager jobs out there.
I just need to nail one by getting thorough ALL THREE interviews and not blowing it.
I make it through the first two fine. It is ALWAYS the third, when I swear the deal is about to be signed, sealed and job offered to me that SOMEHOW I self sabotage.
I tell myself to GROW UP . We all HAVE To do things we don't like. I mean I KNOW my heart WAS NOT in it to land a job in corporate America. But my HEART is with my kids and I NEED to continue to provide a stable , healthy home environment for them
Working TWO PART TIME JOBS, I AM HOME LESS than if I land ONE good full time job.
I ALSO REALLY NEED TO GET TO MY DR. and MAINTAIN MY OWN HEALTH.
Ironically that is Easier to do when working full time!
Health insurance is a good thing.
I am behind on my payments for my purchased health insurance plan.
Three months behind.
DARN
TIme to go to a graduation ceremony! GLAD I WON"T BE LATE!!!
Till next time I do some super stupid ADHD MOMENT OF THE WEEK AND NEED TO VENT...
Ce la vie...
In good news, I picked up a repaired sewing machine to give to my 8th grade graduating girl as a moving up to middle school gift AND a bike radio to give to the 5th grader as she 'graduates' from elementary to middle school. As she and I have biked to school for the past few years, I thought that gift was a nice one for her. She can use it when we bike together on the trail and I am WITH HER.
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