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2003-05-15 - 6:51 p.m.

Katerina asked to play violin again.

Her stepdad and I were assessing the feasibility of that now, and thinking maybe we'd just wait until Fall. Her Dad can have her take lessons over the summer if he wants. We were going to pay all the bills then decide.

Decison made today when I exited the garage and inadvertendly left the back right side passenger door open. It was crimped in half, the glass shattered, the track to the garage door bent, and I can now neither shut the door nor go anywhere as I can't even get the car out of the garage. Not to mention if I can get it out that it wouln't be possible to go anywhere as it is not safe to put the little children in.

Obviously the pay I am to get soon is going to the car.

No violin for a while.

WE were getting ready to head out to soccer practice.

No soccer practice tonight, and its questionable that the kids will get to play at all this Spring. My car is the only one that fits ALL the kids, so until it is fixed we essentially can't go anywhere except by bus or foot. (Or just a few at a time)

Basically we rely on my car to do just about anything family related. So we have to wait and see when a body shop can get it fixed before we resume having mobility.

Next week Soren is the VIP in his class. Because he just had a birthday it is his trun to tell the class about himself and share some special things-- like family members or whatever he wants. I suppose I can figure out the bus route and cart the baby and toddlers there via bus if I have to-- unless it works out that Westley can drive us there. That all depends on his work schedule- conference calls, if he has time to go etc. He is now driving back from VA, and will arrive tonight around 9:30pm or 10- I'll ask him about going to Soren's school in a few days after he is over the SHOCK of the trama of yet another big bill for my car repairs.

I won't even mention soccer until Sat AM! MAybe he'll take the kids. Maybe he'll be so annoyed that he won't as I didn't pay for it yet, and now I won't have the money for it. Perhaps he'll offer to pay for it-- I hope so. I know I could NEVER ask their Dad for it as he doen't even pay for necessitites! I never get child support- so why should he have extra money for soccer? But perhaps that would be important to him. The kids are immensely upset. IN fact it would be nice if their happiness at fullfilling their expectation to play would be valued enough by their StepDad that he would volunteer to take them to practce while my car is out of commission, and volunteer to pay for it. But I am sure that is just a dream on my part.... how nice it would be to actually have a partner who always put the wishes of all my children first. That's what would bring me the greatest happiness-- but of course I, like the kids, have to be realistic, and there are some things that are higher on the priority list for my husband. That's jsut the way it is. In fairness, when finances are tight he not only won't support extra curriculars for his step children, but he wouldn't support any unnecessary expenses for our mutual chuildren either. He's very consistent, and I think wise with money. Good thing is that he was also a soccer player and it was at HIS suggesstion, and HIS initial paying for soccer, which first got the kids to play a few years ago. So even if they are not on a team I can see him playing with them outn the yard here over the weekend. In fact they would likely learn more from him than when on a team! But of course it just won't be as much fun-- as most of the point of it is to have fun with peers. Westley just doesn't have the same mentality as a 2nd grade boy OR a 4th grade girl!!

(And that's a good thing overall!)

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