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2003-12-07 - 3:13 p.m.

I just read my last entry which ended with thinking that the ex mother in law "finally gets it!" in regard to being courteous about REQUESTING time with her grandchildren rather than attempting to TELL me what she is going to do.... WELL here it is only a few months later and she again demonstrated her probmem with boundries. Grandma of Soren asked if she could come to our church to hear him sing with the choir. Its a public space, and of course he is her grandson , so I graciously e-mailed her the information about him singing at the 4:30 pm Sat Mass yesterday. I was very happy fo rhim to have that quality time with her- especially on the same day his sister was going to a riding workshop ALL DAY LONG.

In anticipation of the riding day, my morning started off at about 5:30am when I woke early, wanting to get Katerina up by 6am as she hoped to get to the stable by 7am sharp. I dozed a bit off and on , then woke her at 6:30 am and we ended up arriving at the stables close to 8am (as we helped some of the toddlers with breakfast before we left!)

Soren's choir was invited to sing at that 4:30pm mass and then an advent supper at 6pm, and I told his grandma about this and said if she would like to go with him that would be great, as otherwise we had not planned on attending due to other plans. (Being the horse riding )

At 4:15 Gramdma of Soren called to say she had a car accident,. however was having her car towed to the dealer (which was only 4 exits from us) and would then get a rental car and be at the church to meet Soren. At close to 7pm I was thinking I'd call her to verify she made it, or go pick up Soren, but she did indeed call saying "It is from 6 to 8pm right?" I said- Yes I think so-- and she said she had a cab coming as she couldn't get a rental car. They were closed" I told her Enterprise would bring one to her-- and she assured me they closed at noon. Then she proceeded to tell me that she would either get a hotel or stay with me for the night!

SHe really is just something ! Telling me she was going to STAY WITH ME??? NO REQUEST, JUST A CLEAR ASSUMPTION, at which I told her I'd certainly have to check with my husband. At which point she said "HE's here- I thought he was traveling?"

That is the point I realized it entirely possible that this master of manipulation didn't even HAVE any car accident and was once again proceeding with a wacked scheme to get entry into my home and life with her knowledge (or so she thought- as I mistakenly said to her last week as originally my husband intended on traveling on Sat!!!) It seems to be an obsession of hers-- so I wouldn't put it past her. Not that I wouldn't have helped her out in such an emergency. But if there REALLY were an emergency and she were left TRULY stranded I would have packed ALL THE KIDS in the CAR and driven her to Buffalo before having her stay in OUR HOME! (or an ambulance would have been called by someone! Obviously there was no such medical crisis from the accident or the police who she told me were there would have taken appropriate measures!)

The nerve of the woman. SHe really is too much. No matter WHAT the circumstances you don't TELL someone you plan on staying with them! Normal people may ASK in an appropriate manner. I did ask her if it was critical she get back to Buffalo for any required medication, and she said "No- although it would have been BETTER for her to do so. " I did consult with my husband to see what he thought (although even while asking him if he thought I should drive her to Buffalo I felt like I was falling for some strange manipulative TEST of hers.... like she WANTED to put me in this position to SEE if I would help her. In any case, she indicated "SHE COULD" stay at a hotel "if she had to" with all that dripping manipulative behaviour of one who is trying to make other feel guilty at not taking on their issues... It was text book. I knew it was all coming though... the litany of "I don't have my heart medicine..." and complaints..."Oh I am achy..." and "I can't saty at a hotel unless they have room service...." (To manage her diabetes) I told her there was fruit in the lobby of the local holiday inn, and they would be happt to refrigerate insulin if needed, and then I took her to a fast food place to pick up food and bring it to the hotel and I dropped her off at the Holiday Inn.... WHEEW!!!!

I survived another encounter with the lady who the whole drive perseverated on my husband and how she planned on writing HIM a letter asking HIM if she could see Soren "a few times " She really doesn't get it-- I make all decisions

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