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2004-10-26 - 2:36 p.m.

Westley and I actually enjoyed watching a movie together last night. It was a fantastic film called Beyond Borders. It was so incredible to watch as it showed how my life could be if I were either single OR selfish enough to live like I were single, and it made me apprechiate both the story of the movie, and my unexciting work of writing the occassional check to support humanitarian causes rather than doing the actual outreach myself! (Even though I'd love to be able to so that someday!)

Having met people at UNHCR, and having interviewed an incredible woman there when I was working on a research paper for a course on refugee movement for Georgetown, I was enjoyed imagining the secret crazy life of that REAL UNHCR person I met. A job like that would be my personal dream job.

I had gone to get a movie for Westley and I hoping to watch it together for our fifth wedding anniversary which was on Sunday. Its SO HARD to pick a movie for him! So I settled on bringing home three that I found in the five minutes I ran in while the girls all waited in the car. I quickly grabbed Farenheit 911 (thinking it wouldn't be the anniversary pick but for another time) and found AR Gurney's THE LOVE LETTERS and BEYOND BORDERS. I initially didn't grab the third movie as I knew I"D LOVE IT, but thought it might just be for me. I was excited to find THE LOVE LETTERS thinking that looked like a good anniversary choice. IT was-- even though I enjoyed it myself on MON morn! (THe plans didn't pan out as Westley came home Fri night to find upsetting mail and then blamed me for his issues..... etc.... but we got over that hurdle better and SOONER than I thought.... at least for the time being....OH AND OK< YES There were also SOME legitimate gripes of his that he voiced to me! )

In any case we didn't celebrate a romantic anniversary, however we did indeed make it! At this point I think we both apprechiate that and its clear we do both value our marriage- even when amidst the difficulty of WORKING at it!
Westley's aunt and uncle in TEXAS called us to say Happy Anniversary which was so thoughtful. They are always GREAT To talk to - as they both have this fabulous ability to actually tactfully point out things about our communication in a helpful and honest way. I feel like I can HEAR criticism from them that I sadly often ignore when it comes from Westley as I am more hurt and defensive when he voices it. So IO think HE felt better after we talked with them about a few things and then he heard me actually acknowledge issues of mine!
Yesterday was a hunbling one, as I went to the DMV and FAILED the written driver test! I didn't recognize one of the signs- and then it was over! (NEED 10 out of 10 of those sign recognition questions correct!I had 9 out of 10.... missed that RIGHT TURN THENLEFT TURN IN ROAD AHEAD one.) THankfully I passed it today AND ONCE AGAIN HAVE A LEGAL LICENSE! This whole ordeal is my own fault for having not responsibly paid attention to the fact my license expired at the end of Sept after my 35th birthday! I NEVER noticed or thought about that!(Although I AM SURE the DMV sent a letter some time before forewarning me....) SAdly, when I traveled to Buffalo a few weeks ago, I showed up at the car rental place to get my rental, and the guy said "DO you have a VALID license?" I dumbly said "I gave it to you" and he then told me "IT's expired"
THANK GOD for my good friend Rosita who was able to give me a ride to the court for the custody case the next morning! I took a cab to her house, and it turns out she works downtown so it wasn't too much out of her way. She was so wonderful to let me stay with her and help me out! To top it off, she is a social worker and a family counselor so was THE BEST support for me while dealing with our family issues! She also is helpful as she regularly works with the courts, so she has the ingight in 1. THAT they are cynical and 2. WHY they are so cynical! They see just TOO MUCH CRAP that its hard for them to have faith. I think they are also not used to seeing STRONG women end up in the court system! In any case, Rosita is an incredibly loyal and loving friend who I am really lucky to have! Ironically her grandfather grew up right where I now live in VA! I hope some day Rosita will come here to live as she could have the opportunity to care for her grandfather and his house if she wanted it. (ALthough she has a great job and loves it there in Buffalo) But her grandfather would love for her to be here. Anyway.... she's a support, as is our other mutual friend Sadie who we also worked with at Autistic Services for ten years! The last time I came up I met Sadie at her house and it was lovely to see her house and her husband and their little boy.

Rosita might have come here if it were not for the fact her EX- who she is trying to not be hopelessly and unhealthily still involved in, got a job with homeland security and moved to Leesburg just about a year ago! Rosita HAS to emotionally move on as he won't commit... but it is hard for her. being close to him would make it harder. (HE is in fact visiting her this week I believe! So she is struggling with letting go...) As most Social workers/counselors, her life, and that of my friend the JD/MSW, is no better than anyone else's!WE ALL HAVE ISSUES! (Just different ones)

Toddler # 2 needs help on the potty... and the baby awoke crying- so my time is up!

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