2004-11-12 - 7:33 p.m.

I never exactly know what I am going to write about when I sign on to this site. Yet I always fins SOMETHING to ramble about!

Today my hubby told me a good friend called to RSVP to say she would be coming to the baptism celebration for the newest baby which is next weekend! Another friend IMed with Westley and indicated he got our card... that must be the invite to the baptism. Westely yelled up that our friend JUST got a card... and that he (Westley that is) figures it was because our friend was working in London and hadn't been home to his Colorodo abode in a while. This happened last night as I was asleep and woke when Westley was talking to me (from downstairs-- yelling up as is his awful habit)- and I heard him say "I can't even remember what card that it.... I told him I must of sent it a long time ago."
I was half asleep and it only LATER occurred to me it must be the invitation. And then it even LATER occurred to me that I never mentioned to my hubby that I sent out about twenty of those invites to family and friends.... OOPS....
Westley was being a bit of a ba hum buggger regarding celebrating this baptism... I think he wanted to avoid having lots of family and friends around. At one point we argued abou the logistics of the baptism itself. At that time I said "You do what you want.. and I'll do what I want to celebrate."
So after we agreed on the date and time I immediately mailed off the invites..... and when I went to Cosco I bought one of those HUGE boxes of Giradelli Chocolate chip brownie mixes. Its enough for about 30 people! I think that's all I REALLY need to entertain!
Since Westley is damn near OCD our house is ALWAYS impeccibly cleaned anyway... and he KNOWS that all the family are coming into town. (No they are not staying with us! They have wisdom to get a hotel!)
And now when my friend RSVPed Westley asked "Did you send an invitation?"
I replied "YEs- Oh actually I dropped it into her mail box."
(That was after he was complaining about the cost of postage when I said I was going to mail out invites and he said "Not with my money! We can't even afford the postage right now...."
Yes- I just remembered I TOLD him I purchased the 20 invitations. And he claimed the stamps would be an issue... so when he said "Don't send them out." I replied "OK" and used e-mail and hand delivered those which hadn't yet gone through the mail.
Hmmm... is that PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE behaviour on my part??
That's the whole problem with our relationship: Agression meets Passive Agressiveness...... Opposites do attract as they say.
In any case I am writing this all tongue in cheek as they say... we REALLY have gotten SO MUCH better in our interaction. Its just a hell of a tough time right now. Super challenging.... for all of us...
YET in the end we can still celebrate the joy of the newest member of the family.
I AM Looking forward to the Baptism! And I can't wait to see family and friends! THey are all a tremendous support to us! I just wish Westly would get over his fear of facing them all after he is embarassed when we have issues and he KNOWS I've talked frankly with EVERYONE.

There is Little I WON"T discuss with family and frineds. Heck- I'll even talk to strangers! Its absolutely essential for me as I am in the role of stay at home mom and SO RARELY get out! So I HAVE to comminicate viligantly for my own mental health and for the health of our whole family.

So the fun part for me will be to see just how big this party after the baptism turns out to be! And I can anticipate now that if I TOLD Westley the whole invite list he would just have anxiety at the thought of entertaining just now, but that it will end up that he actually ENJOYS the company and support of all our friends and family! That's the way fears often are in life... its the fear of a thing which is troublesome, not so much the actual thing in itself.
And Westley can't avoid the world forever!
But regardless of him- I DESERVE TO CELEBRATE WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND I NEED NEITHER HIS PERMISSION OR PARTICIPATION TO DO SO! (although I'd prefer if he CHOSE to dp so joyfully!)
The one great sadness for me is that Katerina and Soren are STILL in NY and not here for the Baptism of their hald sister. I considered whether I should send an invite up to NY for them, but decided not to as that would NOT be fair to Westley should they show up with Grandmomn who would stress him out. That would ALSO stress ME OUT! It just wouldn't be appropriate -- no matter how much I think Katerina and Soren would like to be here, and no matter how much I WANT them to be here for it.

I DID get up to Buffalo for the latest hearing this week. I drove last Sunday all day after spending half the night digging up all their winter clothes and packing the car. I also got some toys. Most important in that arena is that Katerina now has her violin that she actually ASKED for the last time I saw her! She said she is just dying to play some instument so since she didn't have the violin she asked her Dad to teach her the bass.
I enjoyed a nice time staying a few hours with Katerina and Soren at Rosita's apt. I brought an easy Betty Crocker complete Meal kit with me and Soren was thrilled to make dinner for us. Rosita was not home until later so we had the whole apt to ourselves! What an amazing friend she is! It is SO relaxing to stay there --(excpet for the fact her cat flares up my asthma! But she even has an extra inhaler for me! Its Albuterol... the same thing I used to have a prescription for.)
NOTE- ADD TO my "To Do" List: GO TO THE DR for a renewal of asthma medicine and to see about carpel tunnel which I am experiencing symptoms of in my right hand! UHG! Too young for this!

On MOm norm I also picked up the kids and took them to breakfast. Note for next visit: INSIST ON PICKING UP AT 6:30 AM AS I WANTED TO!!! NOT A SETTLING FOR 8:15 which IS NOT SUFFICIENT TIME TO GO OUT FOR BREAKFAST AND THEN GET THEM TO SCHOOL ON TIME!!!

I don't know WHY I was not more assertive with that! I asked to get them early for breakfast and STUPIDLY said "YES" to 8;15 even thought I said "EARLIER IS BETTER" and that was ignored. Their DAD just said "8:15/ 8:30 will be fine."
I replied "I'll be there 8:15 SHARP"

But of course I made a wrong turn and then got there at 8;20 and HAD TO WAIT.
So it was a wasted morning visit really... in rushing off to find somewhere that takes a credit card for breakfast in Buffalo! (MacDonald's does not! WE discovered that AFTER we were all in the restaunt! I brought the infant with me as well... so it takes a few minutes to get in and out of the car!)
We ended up eating bagels and OJ and a decaf for me at Starbucks. The SHITTIEST coffee I have EVER had on account of the MOUTHFUL of grounds I gulped at the bottom of it. There is nothing quite like a mouthful of gritty coffee grounds when walking outside in 22 degree wind chills.
That was my last memory of the morning visit.
The kids did look OK though. Katerina wore her glasses, and Soren ratted on her that was ONLY because I was there!
Hmmm...

Yesterday I had my annual eye exam. They had THE CUTEST little handbag looking glasses cases for $15.00 The lady at the eye dr said when I admired them that the GAP had similar ones for about $30
I'd love to get that for Katerina if I had the cash to spare.

I need to follow up with my client who I am sure VOTED for the first time ever! I need to help his daughters get naturalized! He told me to call him again after some time as he is saving money for the legal fees, (Now I need the $ as welll!)

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