2005-03-30 - 6:11AM

One more thing to write about before going back to bed: Katerina took the test for the UB GIFTED Math program and is awaiting results. She reported it was INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT and was a bit worried about her result. I reassured her and told her I am proud she attempted it and she agreed that the experience of the test alone was worthwhile as school tests will seem less intimidating now as they are so easy in comparison!

My friend Rosita also in the very same week took what she said was the most difficult test she has ever sat through. She said she had a hard time paying attention to her test and not laughing out loud at the collective sighs that the test takers all had at the same exact moments. She had to cut off her sociological study instinct to focus.... Said the math was so hard she almost laughed at the folly of thinking she could do it! SHe sat for the first written test for the FBI

Only 1 of 5 applicants to the FBI make it as far as taking that test. And this is the BEGINNING of the screening process. Should she make it through this hoop there are many to follow.

Good for HER! This is her self improvement plan! She intended to lose some weight and this goal of making through the FBI screening is her motivator as she needs to work toward meeting their physical requirements.

Roasalina herself said "When I want to do something, in order to commit I take steps that FORCE me to follow up!So for example I'll call someone and TELL them what I am doing then have greater incentive to continue. "
She talked of when breaking up w/ her long term 12 year non committed boyfriend... how the act of telling his family she is dating someone new helped her in that emotional letting go of the old to be present for the new relationship. Sort of her way of publically doing something so she has to follow through OR BE EMBARASSED.

See-- isn't is odd how that public embarassment is such a motivator?

I thought of my recent commitment to making this diary my forum for public way of at least PRETENDING I'd be embarassed if I didn't follow up on goals. (Even if CONTRIVED maybe it works to motivate!)

I think it does as I think I am more focused on getting my TO DO list done not only if I WRITE it, but if at the very least its in a place that I will find it again and can re-visit so I can't FORGET or LOSE my list.... or some other excuse I likely use when I don't follow up.

I guess I am starting to think that they are in fact EXCUSES for blowing off stuff that is either hard or I don't REALLY want to do.

MAybe that's a sign of maturity and growth and a result of committing to more consious action in my daily life.
I think committing to being CONSIOUS of actions and thoughts really makes one a more responsible and accountable person and one that gets stuff done. I have tried to do this as it most definately enhances my relationships as people find me dependable and get the message I CARE about them when I do things for them I say I will do rather than FORGET about them!

Back to bed now. I bet someone will awake in a half hour and I'll be up for the day! Ijust changed the time to read when I FINSHED writing as the other entry noted when I STARTED! WOW I was up too long! ADDENDUM 3/31 Rosita Called this morning to tell me she got a letter from the FBI inviting her to proceed to the next phase! SHE PASSED THE TEST! YOU GO GIRL! (as they'd say in her city!)... Ok , as they's say about 15 yrs ago. I'm not up on slang these days.

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