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2005-05-05 - 10:38 a.m.

Whew Finally go through after that "SERVER BUSY" message. I also just wrote and enty and lost it as my connection was flubbed when I tried to send it!
In a nutshell

WHEWW finished TONS of writing needed for the custody case. HUGE RELIEF
Time to go get Sadie from Preschool and play at the park for the WHOLE AFTERNOON with girls until nap time! YAH!

ANd I can't write as extensively as I ALREADY did- but had a de ja vu moment observing Westly parenting and dealing with Katie EXACTLTY as he had delt with Soren who years ago had the SAME 4 yr old behavior of banging a hammer on the floor!
(Both were trying to emulate him. Difference was that Katie DESTROYED a molding rather than fixed it... likewise Soren had destroyed wood years ago too...)

IT was REMARKABLE how CONSISTENT WESTLY Was in his response to both situations! What differed is that THIS TIME I LET HIM PARENT and didn't critize or judge and pick an argument with him. (As I did years ago freaking out at his disciplining my then thought to be perfect child!)

I recently did some reading on IMAGO therapy and it FINALLY CLICKED how it works. I UNDERSTAND how and why the therapist doesn't focus on amy one indident which brings the couple to counseling, but rather focused on their communication and behavior PATTERNS and RE-TEACHES them a healthy model. IN the PRACTICE of more effective positive communication there is theorized that there is THEN an INTERNAL change of each person! Anger and ill feeling minimize. This struck me as I felt ADMIRATION at WESTLEYS truly AMAZING parenting ability to elicit a. a truthful confession
and b. a heartfelt apology
and c. CONSCIENCE development of our three almost four year old who is just now starting to learn empathy for others!

It was truly amazing to see the process I had disrupted and thwarted years ago unfold. Then it turned into an ugly battle between me and Westely. Now WEstely's same initial action resulted in a different outcome as I had different REACTIONS to them!


It reminds me of Beck's Cognitive behavioral therapy which effects changes through re-training the brains thoughts in some ways of thinking.

Very interesting. I for one think both methods WORK.

And now - to pick up Sadie ON TIME.

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