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2005-07-04 - 12:15 p.m.

I just talked to Katerina . I had a nice conversation in which she told me about her girlfriends, field day at school and how she was happy they didn't MAKE the kids who hate sports play them and suck and feel like idiots because they can't achieve at ANY sport. They let the kids not intereted in the organized sports to PLAY.

Novel concept... letting kids have play time!

AFter talking about lots of things I talked to her about the current status of the legal case and asked if she REALLY didn't want to be able to come to my home with WESTLEY.

And she really doesn't want to be around him.

She said "I don't want to get hit by him."

And I asked her about that and when it occured and she said
I said "EVERY DAY! " and she said
"Mommy why don't you believe me?"
And I said "I didn't say I don't believe you. I am just baffles as I NEVER heard about this from you. How can it be that I wouldn't have known about this?"
and she said "You were there."

So I have a much greater understanding of why the court arbiter is so condescneding to me. I told KAterina "OH- Well this all makes more sense to me now. If that is how you feel I DO UNDERSTAND"

and she said "THank you Mommy"

And I asked "Why didn't you ever talk to ME about this?"
and she said "Because I didn't want you to be upset"

I told her she should never NOT talk about things for fear of other people being upset.
I told her my REAL fear that I worry that if I DON'T Continue to fight for her to be with me that she'll be angry if say a year from now she is with GRANDMOM all the time and her DAD is not involved with her and Soren. I asked if she understand that as a realistic possibility. She said she did. I said not that is would be likely- but that if that happens I didn't want HER to be angry. She seems to understand. (That is something I wouldn't even VENTURE to discuss with Soren as he has less understanding of his Dad's issues and is also More defensive about his Dad.)

I then talked to Soren about his Theater program that he starts tommorrow. At first Katerina claimed he was busy... but I persisted. He wasn't busy but hadn't wanted to talk to me at first as he overheard Katerina and said "I don't want to talk about that stuff."
I persisted and told him I didn't want to talk to him about anything except what he was doing as I had ALREADY talked to him about all "that stuff" but hadn't yet talked to KAterina as about it all.

I needed to know what SHE wanted and Why she wants this.

I already had those conversations with SOREN.

Soren told me he is auditioning for PREFORMING ARTS ACADEMY this coming Thursday. He read his audition piece for me to hear. It was a moving piece from the perspective of a kid sitting waiting for his parents while they gamble in a casino. Not the kind of kid theater you'd hear in Lincoln, VA ! Very moving and he presented it well. He'll be going to PREFORMING ARTS.

Then I talked to their DAD as I knew when I heard about the audition that meant Soren didn't get in the Olmstead program for gifted kids. (And I wasn't really surprised by that. ) So their DAD told me they are having an open audition specifically for kids who moved mid year as Preforming arts is not filled for next year. And he told me SOren didn't get in as his math test score was low. And he said he wasn't too worried about it as he was the top math student in the class he was in. I asked if he did homework at home or came home with it all done. I told him of our concerns that it had appeared Soren got great grades on his tests and homework... but when I had him sit down with me he couldn't do the math. I said we were watching for the possibity he was getting "help" from classmates and has a low self esteem and wouldn't ADMIT this is an area that is hard for him! His DAD thinks its just test anxiety which is a possibility. He didn't think he had to worry about the other possibility.

And I talked to him a bit about the legal "stuff" HE asked when I'd see the kids and I honestly said "I don't know" and he said he could bring them to SYRACUSE sometime. He said there is a meeting here that his group interacts with. That was nice! I told him finances ARE tight now and why... that we got this place thinking we could bring the kids here!

BAck to planning today w/ kids here!

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