2005-07-27 - 2:34 p.m.

I can't post the pictures here, but a friend sent me this e-mail. It upset me as I read it. What is upsetting to me is that while these honorable men and women in Iraq are proudly defending freedom, that the final picture was the men in a formation spelling out
"WE REMEMBER 9- 11"

And I could only hear AMY Goodman in my ear discussing how BUSH mentioned terrorism or 9-11 twenty seven times in a recent speech analysed the week after the memo in England . I didn't COUNT HOW MANY TIMES SHE MADE THE COMMENT-- but it must have been AS MANY! (forgive my shitty memory-- is it the BAKER st MEMO... no that can't be it- that's Sherlock Holmes address isn't it?) ,the memo in which members of Parliment were instructed to FIND A LEGAL way to justify going to WAR in IRAQ as Bush has committed to doing so, and England was committed to supporting the effort. The memo PRIOR to US troops entering IRAQ.

I wonder if any of those servicemen and women will ever even HEAR of PACIFICA radio, or the memo in England, or that it was the SAUDIs who were connected to 9-11, not Iraqis.

ANd it makes me sad to think they are so well intentioned and that we SHOULDN'T FORGET the soldiers and we SHOULD APPRECHIATE their amazing efforts, their selfless service and YES WE NEED PEOPLE TO BE WILLING TO DEFEND FREEDOM

But I don't subscribe that's what presence in IRAQ is really all about.

HERE IS THE E-MAIL:

"DO NOT DELETE-PLS PASS ON-Message from Iraq

The proud warriors of Baker Company wanted to do something to pay tribute To our fallen comrades. So since we are part of the only Marine Infantry Battalion left in Iraq the one way that we could think of doing that is By taking a picture of Baker Company saying the way we feel. It would be awesome if you could find a way to share this with our fellow countrymen. I
was wondering if there was any way to get this into your papers to let the world know that "WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN" and are proud to serve our country." Semper Fi
1stSgt Dave Jobe

The attached photo was forwarded from one of the last U.S. Marine companies in Iraq. They would like to have it passed to as many people as possible, to let the folks back home know that they remember why they're there and that they remember those who've been lost."

I TOO WILL NEVER FORGET 9/11

It is a significant date for me personally.
It will be seared into my memory forever.

It is my birthday.
It was the date on which my husband was physically abusive to me FOR WHAT I BELIEVED TO BE THE FIRST AND LAST TIME.
It was the date one year later of the infamous attacks on our country.
9/11/05 is the date my husband goes to trial this year AGAIN as last JUNE he did indeed take his hand to me once more. He did so one time, with one slap to my arm-- which after we talked about I said I would forgive. But forgiveness doesn't mean you do not allow someone to be accountable. Forgiveness doesn't mean you allow yourself to be hit again-- EVEN ONCE EVEN ONLY ONE SLAP
Forgiveness doesn't mean YOU LOWER YOUR STANDARDS, YOUR EXPECTATIONS or YOUR PRIDE.

Yet at the same time, while I understand the HARD CORE response of the US GOVT that WE WILL NOT BE BULLIED and I too share that similar philosophy, I do think there HAS to be SOME FORGIVENESS.

HAd my husband not exhibited any further abusive actions, I WOULDN't have pressed charges for the one transgression in four years of the one slap to my forearm-- BUT THEN HE WAS INDEED ABUSIVE WITH KATERINA.
That was not actionable, as it was "protected" as "discipline" in VA. Well, then the only think TO DO was to take action where I could-- and there is a case of domestic violence over one slap to my arm that the magistrate was more than happy to bring forth on behalf of the STATE OF VA.

WHO SAID SOUTHERN STATES ARE ARCHAIC???

I think they are damn creative.
I think they ARE HARD CORE

But the problem is that I think they are akin to our US GOVT. Its the good old AMERICAN tradition.
I went in seeking help and support as I WAS LOOKING FOR RESOURCES. I WAS LOOKING FOR COUNSELING, and ANGER MANAGEMENT, and PROTECTION, and SUPPORT IN MAINTAINING A HEALTHY FAMILY LIFE.

I wasn't expecting to have THE MARINES sent in to blow apart my home, which is what I feel like has been done in response.

There is a very good chance that on 9/11/05 History will be made in the area of public policy of domestic violence in VA. My husband has prepared to take vacation as he EXPECTS to be handed a CONVICTION and JAIL TIME.

I don't think he is in fact prepared if the time is more than he is ready for.
We'll see what happens then.

And I see this little microcosm of my life as analogous to the larger problems of violence in the world now. IF you can't LEGITIMATELY address the real problem of violence where it is-- well then just send a message in any way that you can!

In VA the law was such that the very real issue of violence in discipline was an argument THAT CAN'T BE RESOLVED LEGALLY in the way I would like, or the state would like, or anyone would like other than those who believe it IS OK to use corporal punishment, and those who think even going overboard in that context is understandable. The problem is that WITHOUT evidence of physical harm, there is no way to really stop someone from disciplining kids in that manner LEGALLY.
So those in local govt then go after the person who has abused their legally sanctioned authority BY ANY MEANS THEY CAN LEGALLY DO SO.

AND BY ANY METHODS REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THEY ARE LEGAL OR NOT.

I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT IN THE CASES IN NY AND VA THAT HIPPA RIGHTS OF MY HUSBAND WERE INDEED VIOLATED

When at trial the opposing counsel started to ask me some questions that he couldn't have even asked unless someone in VA communicated regarding my husband with someone in NY. Hmmmm....

The problem of terrorism is one which is difficult to address. Because it was too hard to pinpoint and hold the individuals involved accountable, or because there was an unwillingness to do so, the tactic was taken to just attack the whole fabric of society there. Not only that of the terrorist, but the surrounding boders a "REGION' of hate, using rhetoric of fear. The decisions seem to be based on fear with the intent to DESTABALIZE such that power becomes unsustainable. Without the capacity for POWER, there can be no potential for terrorists. Rip apart a society and render it infantile and there can be no "breeding ground" for terrorists.

THe problem is there is also no longer a HEALTHY place for ANYONE there!

Its exactly the tactic of an abuser or a terrorist him/herself. Attack the integrity and worth of a person, or of the system they are in, such that they are powerless.

So our govt has reduced itself to terrorist tactics.

And the result is further devastation.

The local govt and local social service agencys have attacked the problem of violence in my family by SHATTERING the family, or at least trying to.

In doing so they indeed make it HARDER to achieve any cohesive family. They tap into economic resources, they do anything in their power TO PREVENT having a family remain cohesive, they attempt to literally WEAKEN the system assuming that the problem therefore can not exist. THEY DON't REALLY ACTUALLY ADDRESS THE REAL PROBLEM because they can't GET AT IT. ITs an amazing phenomena to observe and experience.

So yes in this case of the microcosm of my family my husband who was at fault will indeed be punished. ANd yes in this case the problem of violence WILL indeed be addressed. ANd yes it is really the same problem regardless of whether it was directed at me or at my daughter.

But the punitive model really is not as effective as a rehabilitative model. It never has been. And rehabilitation may work, but oftern doesn't work when it is IMPOSED.

THe sad thing is that before the litigation in NY my husband had been WILLFULLY entering into the counseling process. His enthusiasm and also his TRUST of our counselor dramatically DECREASED after the court made that MANDATORY as a terms of settlement. The settlement was that he continue with both marriage counseling and complete an anger management course and then he could report back in about one year to have it dismissed provided he comply.

It is sad that violence against children can not be directly addressed. IT is sad that there are laws for protection because THEY HAVE TO HAVE THEM, as it is sad that parents CAN INDEED be treated like criminals EVEN IF THEY ONLY make a mistake of bad parenting ONE TIME. IT is sad that kids can be taken from home without anyone REALLY investigating the facts, because of what some other person who wasn't even there says. THe whole custody battle makes me UNDERSTAND the protective laws on behalf of parents in VA. The laws are such to PREVENT something like the custody battle from occurring! However they would only be helpful INTERSTATE. NY has no interest in actually applying VA law!

I feel like I called for local police protection and I got it. I got it full force with the equivalent of marine like intensity in response to my husband. They in fact have been HARD CORE with him and refuse to let up.

They REFUSED to sign him up for the county anger management UNLESS he signed standard probation forms-- that included signing away almost all of his RIGHTS. They were attempting to get him to come in for weekly DRUG TESTING and have a ban on travel and actually treat him like he was under house arrest !(MEanwhile in NY MY EX THAT ACTUALLY HAS ADDICTION ISSUES NEVER FOLLOWED UP AND NO ONE CARED THAT HE WASN't HAVING HIS URINE TESTED LIKE HE WAS SUPPOSSED TO)

DESPITE the fact he has no conviction and is not on probation. They took him back to court for non compliance and the judge got angry at the county workers and threw out that case.

But the county basically has beem very vengeful in this matter. And the hate breeds hate. The angry people in NY believe what they want to and talk to those in VA who believe what they want to , and a REALITY is CREATED in their minds that isn't that which I or my family experienced. Then decisions are made upon decisions-- simply to SUPPORT and REINFORCE prior decisions such that NO WEAKNESS or possibility of ever having made a mistaken judgement EVER BE ADMITTED. The battle is one that continues OF PRIDE and FOR PRIDE and is no longer in response to the needs or interests of me or anyone in MY FAMILY. It is so analogous to the WAR in IRAQ.

And I can't help but think that I likely feel like the citizens of Iraq who indeed WELCOMED help and support of the U.S. THEY THOUGHT they were seeking EMPOWERMENT. THEY THOUGHT they were turning to a source of STRENGTH and of SUPPORT and RESOURCES to HELP THEM IN RE-CLAIMING THEIR RIGHTS.

THey didn't expect that the chaos would be WORSENED. That the integrity and whole fabric of their society would be torn

They didn't expect there would be bombs falling on THEM.They never asked to be THEMSELVES ATTACKED and They certainly didn't expect their children to be casualties.

�

�