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2005-09-14 - 11:35 a.m.

Westley is in VA today. He worked there yesterday and today he is there to take care of a legal obligation. As I never got any correspondence I have stayed in NY and have not accompanied him. He is reporting back to Loudoun regarding the completion of the Anger Management he took in NY back in JAN. It IS NOT the course that he was SUPPOSSED to have gone to in Loudoun--- that one which the office there refused to sign him up for unless he waived all his rights (including the right to travel etc...) despite the fact that on a form the magistrate had in fact checked off that he indeed COULD leave the state of VA! (And the magistrate HAD NOT ordered any of the other stipping of rights that they routinely do for those WITH CONVICTIONS! The difference being Westely had no trial or conviction and was agreeing to do the work to address the allegations such that the case would then be SETTLED by the Commonwealth. I was happy with that as I believe the agreed upon work was effective. The Commonwealth was happy with that as well as they REALLY don't want the court resources used when it isn't necessary and problems seem to be resolved in another fashion. The court really is for PUNISHEMENT of those who haven't successfully REHABILITATED.

So in that battle with the Probation Officers who arrange the course--- who wanted to exert their control and who were perturbed at Westely's arrogant refusal to comply with their wishes DESPITE the fact HE WAS NOT IN ANY PROBATION PROGRAM AND WAS ONLY TO SEE THEM TO SIGN UP FOR THE COURSE....AS They Handle that administrative step, let it be said HE HASN't MADE ANY FRIENDS OUT OF THEM!

HE Technically HAS NOT COMPLIED with his agreement which was to attend the specific course in Loudoun.

There had been a hearing brought forth by the Probation Officer who attempted to Show CAUSE of noncompliance and that went in Westely's favor in that the judge was AGGRIVATED at the nonsense of the officer and the Commonwealth Attny who were attempting to oder things OTHER than the magistrate and Westely had agreed to in the Settlement. The Settlement was that he and I continue marriage counseling and he go to the specific anger management.

The Commonwealth Attorney however was not pleased and was in fact Reprimanded by the judge at that hearing! So she COULD be just hard core in her continuing of what she believes is seeking justice of Westley who she clearly thinks is deserving of punishment!

Today a few things could happen. As the settlement is that he was to comply by early SEPT he could have an actual trial on the matter. (The settlement was in lieu of a trial) It seems the Commonwealth isn't interested in that or they would have made some attempt to contact me! (And I would have known as all phone calls are immediately forwarded to this NY line and they would have sent certified mail etc....)

Westley had thought it would be good for us to all travel and for me to accompany him but with Sadie in school and gas prices so high we decided against that. Also if the judge WANTS to make a grand example of him- HE could literally be thrown into JAIL for noncompliance with the settlement which WAS SPECIFIC and indeed was a fourteen week course that met once a week. The course he took was a weekend cram one. They could NOT ACCEPT it even though it is the one the ONONDOUGA COUNTY in NY uses for equivalent domestic violence problems.

So in a way today is his day of reckoning. We'll see how it turns out! If it doens't go well for him, honestly it won't be the most helpful TO ME!

His attorney wants him to be mentally prepared for the worst just in case as he thinks it strange that they have been so hardcore so far with the refusal to let Westely sign up for the classes without the STANDARD FORM even when provided with CONSENT LETTERS OF AGREEMENT to take the class drafted by the attny!

His comment was that it all depends on the mood of the judge. HE thinks if the judge is in a good mood it will go well for Westley, but if for some other ancillary reason the judge is in a bad mood, then it could go badly for Westley!

Hmmm... Justice ..... Outcomes based on the whim and mood of the judge which is apparently not consistent. Interesting.

Maybe it odd that I STILL feel like what happens is WESTELY's Consequence to deal with. I am really not too concerned about the possible ramifications of what the outcome will mean for me and the kids. That might seem strange but I figure we will all be fine either way. We'll all be fine ANY WAY it turns out! As I am confident that whatever happens we'll weather the storm and emerge stronger.
I don't expect this family to be overtaken by storm any time soon. We've come this far already with Hurricanes and Tornados-- I can't fathom anything as challenging as the past through which we have emerged stronger.

And as always I look at any time of crisis as the greatest opportunities for positive change and growth.

But I am still saying that same prayer.... "Let God's will be done"

and hoping there is some great plan and reason for whatever happens. Mercy and forgiveness are of course things we all hope for most of all at this juncture from the Loudoun Courts! Those are the same things we need to bring to each other! But as I know we don't always get the expected or desired outcomes of even our own actions!

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