Get your own diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

2005-12-29 - 3:06 p.m.

Here at the library attempting to clean up e-mail and e-mail a friend directions to our house. This computer is suckily slow and the hotmail interface won't work correctly for some reason. I'll have to bug Westley to use his sacred machine at home later. I give up. I finally succeeded in deleting all 64 of my stupid junk mail e-mails after multiple attempts and that's all I can mangage now.

Brief update:
Awesome visit with the oldest two kids in Buffalo a few weekends ago. Highlights:
Katerina's BD celebrations 1. I took her to get her ears pierced and she picked out georgous earrings.
2. I enjoyed being invited to attend the party her grandmother gave her as a gift at a rock climbing place. It was fun to meet her friends and Soren in particular was THRILLED when I assisted him in rock climbing.
3. We saw NARNIA which was fabulous!
4. Wonderful visit as always with my inspiring friend Rosita who I stay with when there.

Last week we ventured to my in-laws where we had a great 24 hours. Then when it was time to leave and I had already DONE ALL THE PREPARATION including cleaned the towels and linens and the bathrooms we used spic and span (which I always do as the older folks don't quite see that grime they miss.... so they THINK I must take forever getting myself ready when in reality I always stealthily clean the heck out of their house at any given opportune moment when it might not be noticed I'm gone from the hub bub too long. They really just can't do it all that well and don't even KNOW THIS of themselves. If they did they would HIRE someone to help! )

Anyway... I digresses there: As it was time to leave and all was calm, I KNEW there just had to be SOME EXCUSE to crop up and we couldn't leave YET -- NO NOT UNTIL OLD DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY PATTERS WERE EMULATED IN SOME FASHION... and as I was LITERALLY THINKING THIS, Westely said "I'm really tired now" (as he awoke from a 3 hour much needed restful nap) "LEts stay the night and leave tommorrow"

So indeed we did stay another night and had the entertainment of the in laws at each other as they lost their temporary calm. After the fun witnessing and trying not to be pulled into their issues, Westely of course was overcome and the next morn had to pick a fight with me!
THe good news is that he HAD TO PICK SOMETHING FROM OVER FIVE YEARS AGO to try to fight about! NOt much material available for him to work with!

That's the good news.
The bad news is that he was so over the top and out of line and that HIS FOLKS ACTED AS IF HIS WORDS/BEHAVIOR ARE NORMAL! (THEY WERE TO THEM!)

After writing him a wicked long letter with my feedback ... I wisely made one call to chat ever so briefly with his AUNT (THE ONLY ONE AWARE OF REALITY) who urged me to wait until AFTER we visit with his sisters to give him my letter with my psycoanalysis of he and his family... and that it might be wise to realize that Sometimes its best to remember that prayer

Lord Grant me the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change those I can , and wisdom to Know the difference"

So in other words, I won't be able to ever change his folks. She said one other wise thing "sometimes its a good thing to thing that this is only a brief visit we have to make once a year" and let go of it.... thankfull WE DON'T EMULATE THEM in our DAILY LIVES.

So after we are back to NY I'll re-read that letter and may hand it over, or may decide it was CATHARTIC and healthy to have delt with issues in writing for myself only!

The rest of our holiday was wonderful with his sister and bro in law. We look forward to a few visits with friends and then his other sis and bro in law this weekend as we head back up to NY.

about me - read my profile! read other DiaryLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get your own fun + free diary at!