2006-05-03 - 11:12 a.m.
I received my letter today from NYS Child and Family Services of the UNFOUNDED status of the INVESTIGATION OF CHILD ABUSE which was initiated by our local officers who met Raitlin when she went for her walk.
My NEIGHBORS did make comments to me on this story when I chatted with them about this and told them the story - which some already heard.
Besides telling me THEIR STORIES of things like one who had a kid go outside and hunt for treats the EASTER BUNNY may have left-- but did so in the WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD at 6am to be returned home by the POLICE! (That was a classic one which happened years ago as the kid is now older, the # 1 COMMENT I GOT FROM THE PARENTS WAS:
THE POLICE JUST WALKED RIGHT INTO YOUR HOUSE? I DIDN'T THINK THEY COULD DO THAT?
And THEY CALLED SOCIAL SERVICES? They really don't have much going on here and have a serious problem having to assert AUTHORITY
I also heard a few other interesting tales. One of a guy (in Syracuse) who was ROBBED of his wallet and a bunch of credit cards were used and then the guy actually FIGURED OUT WHO IT WAS and then WENT TO THE CULPRIT AND CONFRONTED HIM and confirmed it as the cops hadn't yet followed up on the lead HE GAVE THEM WEEKS AGO. As the guy ADMITTED it and APOLOGIZED and claimed to PAY BACK the charges the police THEN DROPPED THE CASE WITH NOTE "Parties settled matter"
THe guy robbed WANTED charges pressed - especially as he WANTED to get a copy of the police report to submit to his CREDIT CARD COMPANY confirming the fraudulent charges. So he got a copy of the report which NO WHERE MENTIONS that there was STEALING of the cards and FRADULENT CHARGES but merely something like 'personal property' and the abovementioned SETTLEMENT.
My neighbor who told me this story indicated that the police were REALLY ANGERED at the guy WHO DIDN'T WAIT FOR THEM AND DID HIS OWN INVESTIGATIVE WORK and they told him off for it. It didn't seem like they were concered for his SAFETY but rather they had a bruised ego problem.
HE stepped on their toes apparently.
I told her that I didn't think there was any reason he CAN'T STILL WALK INTO ANOTHER PRECINCT and file a report of the stolen credit cards. I told her to tell him to TRY TO FILE IT AGAIN and that I think they would HAVE to take it despite the fact of him having TRIED to do so already. I told her I think they would hopefully do their job and follow up, as it really just sounded like someone who didn't want to actually DO THEIR JOB.
The social worker who came to our house had also said there wasn't much going on in our community so the cops here were a bit overzealous in even filing the report.
Its interesting to me that everyone seems more concerned with THE POLICE than worried about RAITLIN! I guess there is really a serious problem with them abusing their power!
I am glad though that they DID CALL as SHE ALSO READ THE INFORMATION ABOUT THE REPORT THAT WAS FILED REGARDING KATERINA AND SOREN A FEW YEARS BACK WHICH CLAIMED THAT WESTELY WAS ACTUALLY CONVICTED IN VA OF ASSAULT AND BATTERY!
I had HEARD of that INITIAL INVESTIGATION BEING INITIATED BY their GRANDMOTHER As the guy from LOUDOUN FAMILY SERVICES WHO WAS CALLED BY THE NY OFFICE THEN RESPONDED and he actually later told me THE FACTS OF WHEN AND WHERE THE INITAL CALL WAS MADE IN NY! He wasn't SUPPOSSED to do that... however during the custody battle HE DID SO and he ALSO WROTE A NICE LETTER ON WESTLEY AND MY BEHALF INDICATING HOW WE COOPERATED IN DOING WHAT WAS RECOMMENDED TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY FAMILY LIFE. He also told me the facts of when and where the initial report was made as he got the NOTES FROM IT and he noted that "it wasn't a fair representation of the real issues that you have had and faced"
So what is most disturbing is that he then DID SEND HIS ASSESSMENT AND HIS INPUT OF WHAT HAD HAPPENED AND HOW I RESPONDED AND HOW WESTELY WAS IN THE SYSTEM IN LOUDOUN UNDER SCRUTINY OF THE STATE AND HOW HE HAD TO GO TO ANGER MANAGEMENT ETC.... and yet
So I was disappointed that the letter I got today was not regarding the whole NY FILE from the PAST!
I EXPECTED to get this "unfounded" status letter, so it wasn't a big relief for it to come. It WILL BE A BIG RELIEF when I get the whole OTHER DARN FILE and an opportunity to CORRECT ANY MISINFORMATION.
I get to now add this UNFOUNDED letter to my file along with the OTHER UNFOUNDED ONE from when during my divorce my EX MOTHER IN LAW Called and made up a frivolous claim.
I WISH WHEN SHE HAD MEDDLED WITH THE NEIGHBORS IN VA and had them convinced we had Katerina and SOREN coming home to an empty house that there was SOME DOCUMENTATION of that frivolous claim, but that VA social worker never even opened a file and there is no record of that at all. (And anyway it would be hard to PROVE that it was initiated by GRANDMA who was OUT OF STATE!) That VA social worker just looked at that little girls and Westely who was home working in his study and said "I THOUGHT YOU HAD TWO CHILDREN"
YEs and she was led to believe that they were two NEGLECTED children coming home to an empty house when in reality at that time there were TWO PARENTS almost always home and I was tending to a newborn (Raitlin at the time!) while staying home WITH FIVE CHILDREN. So I can see why she never even opened a file as the allegation was so off base of reality...
Anyway, the letter of the UNFOUNDED REPORT (ALTHOUGH THIS TIME IT'S GENESIS NOT EVEN RELATED TO THE EVIL EX THIS) ONCE AGAIN BRINGS UP THOSE ISSUES AGAIN OF THE LYING AND MEDDLING OF THE OLDER KID'S GRANDMOTHER.
And it in fact SCARES ME IN A WAY
I just WORRY ABOUT THE KIDS and I REALLY WORRY ABOUT THE MENTAL HEALTH OF THEIR GRANDMOTHER who everyone thinks is "SO GOOD TO THEM"
YES - So good to them that she manipulated their lives so they don't live with their mother and now live with her.
YES - so good to them that she WANTS WHAT IS BEST so she "protects" them from any PAIN like that which might come from FAILURE and EFFORT and therefore DISCOURAGED KATERINA from trying for the math program she really wanted.
YES so good for them that she models an example OF LYING TO GET WHAT YOU WANT ALL THE TIME. I AM SURE THAT THE AMOUNT OF TIMES SHE OVERTLY LIES ABOUT LITTLE SHIT HASN'T SUDDENLY STOPPED.
SO GOOD THAT SHE "PROTECTS" THEM FROM BEING AROUND EVIL MEN LIKE MY HUSBAND BECAUSE ALL MEN ARE EVIL!
SO GOOD THAT HER ONLY SON HAD SERIOUS IDENTIY ISSUES IN PART BECAUSE TO BE A MAN WAS IN ITSELF EVIL IN HER MIND WHICH CREATED A PROBLEM WITH HIS GENDER IDENTITY AS WELL AS EVERY OTHER ASPECT OF HIS IDENTITY
SO GOOD TO HER SON THAT HE STILL LIVES WITH HER and I AM SURE SHE ALSO HOPES THAT SHE IS SO GOOD TO HER GRANDCHILDREN THAT THEY TOO WILL NEVER WANT TO LEAVE HER HOME
BUT I AM ONLY VENTING MY WORST FEARS HERE
And I do hope the "FILE" with the OTHER INFOMRATION COMES SOON so I can read and FULLY understand how it came to be that my kids are now in the home of their grandmother who is SO GOOD TO THEM.
I have a CLEAR UNDERSTANDING OF WESTELY'S ACTUAL EVIL (not the INFLATED EVIL AS THEIR GRANDMOTHER SEES HIM!) AND I HAVE AN ACCURATE SENSE OF THE REAL PART HE PLAYED! YES HE DOES HAVE AN EVIL SIDE AND HE INDEED DID ACT SUCH THAT HE WAS A CAUSE OF IT ALL.
BUT HE IS NOT THE ONLY CAUSE.
WHAT I DIDN'T FULLY UNDERSTAND WAS HOW WHEN I ACKNOWLEDGED WESTELY'S FAULTS AND HIS ACTUAL ABUSE AND HOW IT WAS ADDRESSED THAT THE NY FOLKS WOULD BE SO UNFORGIVING.
I DIDN't UNDERSTAND HOW THE LAW GUARDIAN COULD IGNORE THE REPORT OF THE SOCIAL WORKER APPOIONTED BY THE COURT WHO REPORTED THAT "THE KIDS SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN REMOVED FROM THE HOME."
KNOWLEDGE of SOME OF WHAT THE NY FILE CLAIMS (which this social worker, like the one in VA THANKFULLY SHARED WITH ME) gives SOME GREATER UNDERSTANDING Of the MANIPULATION that resulted in the outcome. I would not be surprised if my EX MOTHER IN LAW KNEW the inital NY SOCIAL WORKER WHOM SHE FILED THE REPORT WITH. I wouldn't be surprised by the INFLUENCE AND COACHING OF THE KIDS THAT HAD TO HAVE GONE ON. BECAUSE ONLY THEN WOULD THE NY SOCIAL WORKER WHO "INVESTIGATED" the matter by contacing the VA DEPT and relying on his NOTES and HIS ASSESSMENT have an actual REPORT THAT WAS FILED IN NY THAT IS SO DISPARATE FROM HIS COMMENTS AND HIS ACTUAL ASSESSMENT. ONLY THEN WOULD THIS REPORT IN NY HAVE BEEN FILED WITHOUT EVEN NOTIFYING ME!
I thought about how last year I had such difficuly from SOREN'S SCHOOL as they refused to communicate with me and the PRINCIPAL was his grandmother's neighbor. I AM SURE SHE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT!
THIS possibility of their grandmother having succeeded in the creation of a REPORT IN NY STATE OF CHILD ABUSE is scary because it means that their GRANDMOTHER who everyone THINKS IS SO GOOD TO THEM, really hasn't been acting out of what she thinks is in THE KIDS BEST INTEREST, but has been manipulating and lying about things to a much larger extent than even I suspected in order to GET WHAT SHE WANTS.
And that behavior then REALLY IS PATHOLOGICAL in the REAL SENSE OF THE WORD.
Which is what I find so very scary. I feel like SHE IS ON A MISSION and that SHE STILL IS ON THIS MISSION.
I feel like SHE ISN'T SATISFIED YET and that the meddling in Katerina's opportunity for the math program was likely INTENTIONAL as she is STILL ON THIS MISSION of not having the kids interact with WESTELY AND ME IN OUR HOME.
MAYBE ITS BECAUSE SHE IS AFRAID OF LOSING THEM.
MAYBE THAT IS HER FEAR.
I JUST DON't REALLY KNOW BUT I STILL GET THE SENSE THAT SHE ISN'T DONE TRYING TO MANIPULATE MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY KIDS.
ITs just the little shit-- Like being told the WRONG DATE OF SOREN'S SCHOOL PLAY. I looked it up on the school web site so am making plans for the REAL DATE OF THE PREFORMANCE.
Maybe that was simply a mistake.
In good news the principal of SOREN'S CURRENT SCHOOL was VERY RESPONSIVE TO MY E-MAIL TO HIM INDICATING I WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED TO THE PARENT MAILING LIST.
HE ACTUALLY THINKS THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR DIVORCED PARENTS AND IS SENSITIVE TO THIS ISSUE! HE SAID THE PROBLEM IS AN OUTDATED COMPUTER SYSTEM, but that HE WILL FOLLOW UP ON THIS AND SEE WHAT HE CAN DO.
IT'S ABOUT TIME SOMEONE THINKS IT AN IMPORTANT ISSUE!
Off to drive SADIE TO SCHOOL.SHE IS SO EXCITED SHE STARTS SOCCER PRACTICE TODAY! HER FIRST GAME IS THIS SAT WHICH SHOULD BE A BLAST!
I will also stop at the post office to mail a copy of my JOINT LEGAL CUSTODY paperwork so I can get a copy of SOREN'S standardize test scores which I am interested in reviewing to see if he continues to have difficulty with them or if he has done better in the past few years. (HIS DAD says he continues to have issues.HE in fact seems open to assessing for a learning disability but follow up isn't his strong point. "The Spirit is WILLING but the FLESH is Weak"....but he had been SUPPORTIVE when I do some of the follow up for the kids after he and I both agree we support something! SO I can review the records and talk to him about that possibility)
Soren is so thrilled about his upsoming play! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT!