2006-06-07 - 4:39 p.m.
I am just so livid, shocked and in a way sad. I can't believe what I just discoverd!
After all of her Grandmothers toting the Buffalo Prep Program for Katerina in her DISCOURAGING Katerina for applying to the Gifted Math program, after Katerina got into the math program , her grandmother was strangly silent regarding both topics. I had what I thought was a DECENT conversation with her discussing facing fears of success and/or failure etc and allowing Katerina to attempt things she wants.
I had talked to Katerina and her Father inquiring if EACH of them thought it would be a good idea for her to try to get into BOTH programs. Both programs are very different and indeed IT MIGHT BE TOO MUCH for KAterina to do both, however IF the one which is a scholarship program that offers summer classes is interested in incorportating the math work INTO its curriculum (in lieu of SOMETHING) then they may be compatiblt. One is a scholarship program for HS and they may be INTERESTED and EXCITED to have the opportunity to develop a liason and working relationship with the Gifted Math program at UB if they haven't one already. BOTH PROGRAMS MEET ON THE SAME COLLEGE CAMPUS so it seems like it might not be that hard to do. What baffles me is that in following up by calling the one program to inquire about this (as they hadn't called back) that I was told there is a notation of a call from KATERINA'S grandmother to "Take her off the list"- That would be take her off the list of students to be considered. SO Grandma who ACTED like she was BEING HELPFUL and TOLD ME THAT SHE CALLED TO ASK ABOUT KATERINA'S INTEREST NOT ONLY LIED TO HER WHEN SHE SAID she inquired and the program said it was not feasible, but ACTIVELY HAS MANIPULATED HER LIFE BASED ON WHAT SHE THINKS IS BEST, MOST LIKELY BEST FOR HER RATHER THAN BEST FOR KATERINA, IN TOTAL DISREGARD FOR BOTH OF KATERINA'S PARENTS WHO ARE OPEN TO CONSIDERING KATERINA'S DESIRE AND INTEREST IN TRYING TO DO BOTH PROGRAMS. AND THAT INDEED IS A SCARY THING AS IT MAKES ME WONDER JUST HOW MANY TIMES, AND HOW MANY OPPORTUNITIES WERE INTERFERED WITH AND THWARTED FOR HER OWN SON-- LIKELY OUT OF FEAR THAT HIS SUCCESS IN LIFE WOULD TAKE HIM AWAY FROM HER. I was reminded of the amgry outburst of the GREATGRANDMOTHER of KAterina and Soren who screamed about discouraging her Grandson and keeping him down by ENCOURAGING HIM TO QUIT SCHOOL! SHE HAD BEEN TOLD BY MY EX's MOTHER THAT I ENCOURAGED HIM TO QUIT! I had responded and talked about it. THis comes full circle for me in a very strange and bizarre way as I now understand that pain of the Grandmother of my EX all the more clearly. She watched her daughter ruin her only Grandson's opportunities over and over again and THWART his chances of a good education by ENCOURAGING the sqandering of the trust that his Grandmother set up SPECIFICALLY FOR EDUCATIONAL USE ONLY. BUT I SEE NOW THAT THE MANIPULATION AND SICKNESS OF MY EX'X MOTHER'S RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM LIKELY WENT MUCH DEEPER THAN THAT ONE INSTANCE. ANd IT IS SCARY TO MORE FULLY COME TO REALIZATION OF THE PATHOLOGY OF THAT. MY EX'S MOTHER HAS TRIED TO TOTALLY CONTROL ALL ASPECTS OF HIS LIFE AND HAS THWARTED HIS GROWTH AND ANY OPPORTUNITIES HE HAS HAD THAT SHE COULD MEDDLE WITH OUT OF HER FEAR HE WOULD LEAVE HER AND IN DESIRE OF HER GOAL OF KEEPING HIM WITH HER. WELL, SHE HAS SUCCEEDED. HER SON STILL LIVES WITH HER. AND NOW SO DO BOTH HER GRANDCHILDREN.