2006-07-26 - 10:21 a.m.
Westley told me he read my journal, including a letter I wrote to him and he said I should have shown him it.
I actually thought he meant THIS journal. I said "Good follow the hyperlinks as there is alot of good info"
He had just told me how he is in therapy and has a diagnosis of abusive dismissive personality. He asked "what hyperlinks?" and I said, "Oh what journal?" He found and read a paper one. I actually DID give him the letter he read. He said he wasn't interested at the time! I filed it then in my journal. It was totally a mistake to even try to talk to him. I don't need the emotional manipulation. The "I'm sorry" "You were right about everything" (THAT's a load of BS. NO ONE IS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING AND WESTLEY WOULD NEVER BE CREDIBLE IN BELIEVING ME SO!) "I am going to counseling" To which I replied, "Great, but you need a DOCTOR as well" "I need your support" Blah blah blah.... I just have NO TRUST left. I don't wish him ill will, and pray and actually feel like I CARE about him, but I am not going to believe when he says: "I'll never spank the girls again" AS IF THAT IS ALL THIS IS ABOUT. Great... but are you going to HIT THEM, push me and spit at and verbally and psycologically abuse me?? NO ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF THAT HAVING HAPPENED
I had agreed to talk to him ABOUT THE GIRLS as he requested to talk specifically about the finances and I said "OK" and said "I suppose that does relate to the girls"
But then he and his sister and bro in law put on the pressure. Then today his sister called saying its too much for her to have him and the girls with her all weekend when he visits.
SHe called my EMERGENCY trac phone that is to be used for emergencys only!
I don't know why he is so stubborn and hasn't just turned on a Vonage line at the house, unless he disconnected that and it won't work as he messed up the internal wiring. I read about how to configure it all and will check it out this morning.
Its annoying though that they can't just all accept that there is a COURT ORDER
I told my sister in law HE IS NOT ALLOWED AT THE HOUSE
I told her I'd be glad to meet her in town to play with her daughter at a park and get stuff Westely brought for me.
The call dropped and I headed to do my stuff.
I wish his family would stay out of it all as they really don't get it.
I wonder why he and they are even TRYING to negotiate?
WE HAVE A COURT ORDER DEALING WITH CUSTODY, SUPPORT AND ALLOWING THE KIDS AND I IN THE FAMILY HOME HERE IN VA FOR TWO YEARS.
WHAT ELSE TO NEGOTIATE?
UNLESS THEY REALLY WANT TO START DISCUSSING WHO SHOULD HOLD TITLE.
HONESTLY THEY WOULD BE WISER TO LAY OFF AND LEAVE US ALONE AND GET TOGETHER TO PLAY WITH KIDS AND NOT MEDDLE.
IF I were not harassed I might consider staying there two years and saving to get my own place and seek some sort of assistance. But if they harass me now when I don't have the means to do that they will indeed cut off all possibility of REASONABLE communication TWO YEARS FROM NOW and force the issues of OWNERSHIP to be addressed ASAP
SO I CAN HAVE PEACE! I gave my cell phone # after having dropped off the girls this weekend at my sister in laws for Westley to see them. THEY CALLED A TOTAL OF SIX TIMES between him and family. All so called "emergencys" which were not REALLY BONA FIDE emergencys but more of the histrionic family induced crisis kind such as this message: "We are not welcome at my sisters any more and have no where to go" while crying.... or this one "PLEASE CALL so we can arrange for you to pick up the girls earlier." My phone doesn't ring when roaming. It goes right to voice mail (as WESTLEY's often did! He would get mad I never called him when I HAD but his cell didn't pick up!) I retreived the litany of messages at 5:45 as I was DRIVING SUN NIGHT to pick up the girls and saw the message indicator beep. I think they were not available til I hit Leesburg. But when I got there the girls and all were fine so there had been no real emergency other than the challenges of actually taking care of all four girls for two full days. HE CAN DEAL. JUST LIKE I HAVE ANd as for not being at his sister's, well just like when I went to BUFFALO he'll learn that without money you find places to spend quality time with kids. Like the park or the library. And just like I have had to do, if he hasn't the means he can visit them during the day and I will pick them up to go to bed at home at night. It has been all I could do these past two years to see Katerina and Soren and I accepted and delt with that. He will learn to as well.