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2007-01-28 - 1:16 a.m.

YAH Katerina got an acceptance letter to the HS that she really wanted to go to!! I am so thrilled for her. I want to e-mail her babysitter from years ago whose alma mater it is as i think she will be more excited than any of us!

I also have to admit that I came on line to check out a friend's amazon list- and "be still my beating heart" this friend not only has the most incredible blue eyes that are just beautiful, but WOW he loves to read and write even more than me! Been having light fun fliratious text messages and are keeping it casual as I so clearly need to work on ME! I so clearly need to focus on the BAR EXAM and on nuturing myself and can't get involved with anyone for a while.

It did facilitate the ending of the stalking phone calls from Westley for me to have a few flirtatous conversations with the DANCER back in NOV. HE has just NO IDEA how he brought PEACE back into my life!!

That was a needed "transitional" step for me to be able to be attracted to someone other than Westley and move on in life. I think it was a healthy thing as it was SO CLEAR that he and I couldn't continue in any sort of relationship.
That was a case of primarily PHYSICAL attraction, and I wanted to AVOID the temptation of being involved with someone on that basis alone. So I went to MATCH.Com primarily as a diversion SO I HAD SOME amusement after having read a description of a LINDT chocolate bar and thougth it would make the perfect personal ad with it's phrase,
"Perfectly balanced, neither bitter nor overbearing"

I then felt like I should at least respond and let dowm gently the guys that had e-mailed me, so I paid for one month only (a few weeks ago) and started rifling off my standard "I'm not really emotionally available yet- just here to kind of help me get there!"

Well, I think it did help. I feel like I actually AM emotionally available to this particular gentleman I now call friend! We connected and I am happy to have a coffee date set up for Friday's. It will be a highlight of my weekly routine.

I WAS EXHAUSTED and intended on going to bed tonight at 7:30 pm after I got the girls to sleep. Last night I barely seltpt ooppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

OOPS FELL ASLEEP AT THE KEYBOARD! Wanted to write that my friend sent me his amazon link. After chatting with my TARGET girlfriend, old co-worker whom called me, I then went to it.
H boy... he not only reads voraciously but can write as well. And on his wish list he has "Butlar's Lives of the Saints"

What more can a Catholic girl ask for?


And I realized this man is LIKE MY FATHER.
Isn't that a riot? Down to his CAREER and his view of politics, and thanfully his pleasant easygoing laugh which I hear often when we talk.

It's just so good to have someone to laugh with. I have had some wondreful conversations with my girl friends and laughed often with my brothers when they were here. This is a little bit different and nice as there is an element of attraction there as well.

Timing is not at all right for me however. So I have told him I wish him luck should he meet someone REALLY available that sweeps him off his feet. And if not, well perhaps there is potential in the future.

For now, Friday morning coffee is what I can offer. I am a bit disconcerted however by just how wonderful our conversations have been as he had literally THE MOST BORING PROFILE EVER.

TRULY! He had no picture, and wrote that he loves history and in particular, the civil war. So it was with great reluctance and simply because he lived close by that I didn't send the standard rejection e-mail. (My favorite of which is "I can't be your Maggie May" to some 19 year old student)

I envisioned a frumpy old man.I think in his first e-mail he asked if I go to my church, and said maybe he has run into me there, and he noted he attends the 8:30 mass there. That's the old man mass.... Well I wouldn't REALLY know AS I HAVE NEVER MADE IT TO THAT MASS. But in every other parish I have ever been in the early mass is populated by aged seniors.

I was therefore quite pleasantly surprised by these lovely pictures of a good looking fellow. Then after e-mailing and a few phone conversations I agreed to meet for coffee and was just amazed at his incredible eyes. Fortunately I had the two littlest ones with me so had to be so busy watching them that I didn't get to gaze at those eyes too long, which I think isn't a good idea just yet!

OH- he happens to be a neighbor in a fashion (living right on the other side of town) HE has a 14 year old daughter and a wife who divorced him as he is - WELL, Stable and BORING. She was bored. He acknowledges that they didn't spend enough time together and he thinks that is important to do, as they both did their own thing and failed to nurture their relationship.

HE seems to be a smart and interesting man to me. My only concern is that I just can't see what anyone would see in ME at this moment! I won't enter a relationship until I am at a point of being a strong independent woman.
I don't want to be someone's damsel in distress that they ride up and save on their white horse.

So this weekend when my heat shut off as I RAN OUT OF PROPANE it was interesting. He called and was concerned. (I had PLANNED on NOT MENTIONING IT but somehow couldn't keep that a secret!)

HE offered to help if I wanted it in any way. I said Thanks but no thanks and got help from my little brother. Much SAFER for me to do that at this point! Thank goodness I picked up a pile of wood with a propped sign "FREE"aside it along the road one day. I had enough to run the kitchen wood burning stove and keep the house at a reasonable temperature of 52 degrees until the propane gas was filled the next day. (REasonable for SLEEPING, and reasonable WITH COATS ON! WE were all nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnii FAlling asleep again... Goodnight!

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