2007-02-16 - 6:29 p.m.

**** Apology for the hard to read very BAD habit of overutlization of CAPS!! I ALSO added to this entry on Sat FEB 17 CASE CAN BE FOUND AT THIS SITE: http://wasdmz1.courts.state.va.us/CJISWeb/circuit.html I copied part of an E-mail to my BRO with additions to it to post here:

Sending you correspondence sent to my attorneys which was ignored. Both said NO to filing the appeal even after I said I wanted to do so.

On the 9th I informed the divorce attny I wished her to withdraw as counsel and on Mon the 12th I went to her office and told her I needed her to do so IMMEDIATELY so I could file my own pleading which was prepared. She said "I need to complete a motion and then have XRYDI)&* %*(^) sign it. " (opposing counsel)

I said then " Write it up on a legal pad right now and I will take it to him to get his signature so I can file this."

She ignored that comment and said "Just go file it, the clerk won't know"
ONCE AGAIN BAD ADVICE

This all ONLY MAKES SENSE in light of the fact that my soon to be EX filed on the 8th a counter action seeking a divorce ON THE GROUNDS OF ABANDONMENT claiming that I came here and refused to stay in NY where his job is. ( of course the fact he worked here in VA every other week is not ever going to be acknowledged by him. I did figure out long ago he was playing the game alleging he had a new job so if I STAYED in NY he could make the same allegation of abandonment! He does have co workers and FORMER employees who I think REALLY WOULD hire him at the drop of a hat! HE TRULY IS BRILLIANT AT HIS JOB )

I KNEW that if the NOTICE OF APPEAL I submitted on the deadline of the 9th for some reason was not procedurally correct that WESTELY and his counsel would try to kick me out of the house.

Interestingly my foresight was correct as in his response to the COMPLAINT for DIVORCE WESTLEY alleges I MADE UP a story of violence and alleges that we never lived here in our home as our family residence! He in fact COULD get away with such falshoods if not proved to be a liar. So I thought it best to IMPROPERLY FILE MY OWN RESPONSE than DO NOTHING And sit and let him spin lies and kick me out!

SO basically in his counter complaint HE ASKS for DIVORCE on the grounds of ABANDOMENT (Surprise suprise! It was a police officer who tipped me to the notion that it sounded like that was what he INTENDED and was TRYING to do when he played the car seat game and insisted on driving here with the girls NOT IN CAR SEATS and then TRIED TO ORDER ME TO DO THE SAME!! I refused saying I wouldn't ever drive with them not in seats properly!)

Do this MON the 12th I got a LETTER served to me telling me I have 5 days to VACATE premises of home or he will file an UNLAWFUL DETAINER ACTION IN LOUDOUN CIRCUIT COURT.

HERE'S MY NEXT PREDICTION HE'll file that and I will have a hearing the day of the BAR exam. Watch how correct I am on this. Its totally predictable the lengths of emotional and mental abuse he will try to impose.

Sending you e-mails to attorneys LET ME KNOW IF YOU GET THEM. I Want to have copies of them so also make hard copies as you did with my journals JUST IN CASE as I want to be sure to have all evidence in SOME FORM.. JUST IN CASE I DO GET PISSED OFF ENOUGH BY THIS TO FILE A COMPLAINT TO THE BAR ASSOCIATION ABOUT INEFFECTIVE COUNSEL.

I think NOT INCLINED TO DO SO UNLESS I HAD AFFIRMATIVE EVIDENCE OTHER THAN MY OWN TESTIMONY AS I SEE HOW THAT CAN BE SO MANIPULATED.

So most likely won't need these at all as I am confident in the end a discerning judge will do the right thing, just like what happened at the hearing on the 8th when I was awarded temp custody and child support.

Westely is also playing a game with trying to make me look difficult. He called me to ask to arrange to pick up girls this THU in PURCELLVILLE AT 7pm. I THOUGHT it SHOULD HAVE BEEN EARLIER and CONSISTENT with when it has been- at 6pm at Starbucks in LEESBURG. HE CLAIMS THE JUDGE GAVE A CLEAR TIME OF 7pm. IT was WAY TOO LATE FOR ALEXY WHO WAS TIRED AND READY FOR BED BY THEN. She had a fit. Then I remembered that it was THU , not FRI (as visitaion HAS been) and I had to ALSO GET BACKPACKS and school notes written so did that! (NOT KNOWING AT THE TIME SCHOOL WAS ALREADY CANCELLED FOR FRI DUE TO ICY CONDITIONS AND NOT REALIZING MON IS THE PRESIDENTS DAY HOLIDAY!!! UGH!!!!) Then we got out of here FINALLY around 7:30 so I WAS RUNNING RIDICULOUSLY LATE. I talked with Westley on the phone and felt awful and said "THIS IS TOO LATE FOR THE GIRLS . WE HAVE TO MEET EARLIER " and then he said another of those nonsensical things
by responding something about how I had wanted it later.

HE just makes up CRAP and PRETENDS I had said that! He then rightfully pointed out that 7pm WAS EARLIER and I said "OK I guess 7pm is OK as I can be more organized and ready for the SCHOOL DAY the next day and manage that time if you CAN"T MAKE IT EARLIER " BUT I STILL THINK 5pm or even 4:30 would be OPTIMAL FOR THE GIRLS SO THEY CAN GET THERE EARLY AND HAVE DINNER WITH HIM AND BE IN BED ON TIME! I think it being so late is VERY DISRUPTIVE TO THEIR ROUTINE AND WE SHOULD STRIVE FOR CONSISTENCY WITH THAT AND FOR WHAT IS BEST FOR THE GIRLS

I think he plays this horrible GAME in his phone conversations of referring to IMAGINED CONVERSATIONS we have never had and frames ME AS THIS SELFISH UNREASONABLE AND TOTALLY INCONSIDERATE PERSON. ITs true I run a bit late if one of the girls is having a meltdown (like Alexy AT BEDTIME WHEN SHE IS READY FOR SLEEP! ), or if its a NEW ROUTINE FOR ME AND I HAVEN'T GOTTEN INTO A GROOVE YET! But when I HAVE A ROUTINE I TEND TO BE ON TIME FINE WHEN I HAVE MY ADHD MEDICATION!

I SWEAR THE CUTTING OFF MY HEALTH INSURANCE WAS SO PLANNED ON HIS PART TO TRY TO WIN FULL CUSTODY!
AS IS HIS HIDING ANY RECORD OF ABUSE.

The scary thing is that he COULD SUCCEED in this BUT FOR THE FILING OF THE NOTICE TO APPEAL The CIRCUIT COURT DECISION regarding the protective order in the VA COURT OF APPEALS

SO I need all the prayers in the world now that was filed in a procedurally acceptable manner (Which I think it WAS) and that he can not proceed with the UNLAWFUL detainer action.

I also need all the prayers that people will BELIEVE the truth and not his manipulative lies. I of course am seen as the one playing dirty as I post here, however THIS SITE WAS NEVER MADE PUBLIC UNTIL OUT OF NECESSITY FOR SAFETY AND PROTECTION.

I Can't WAIT to LOCK it and once again make it my truly PRIVATE jounal and not a vehical for SAFETY and to ensure that people I love continue to hear what is going on in my soap opera life.

I just CAN'T WAIT for a NORMAL LIFE AGAIN.

What is scary is that Westely COULD succeed in getting that divorce granted and then with the circuit court decision that said
" the Court finds here that the acts here do not meet the definition of family abuse. From the evidence that the Court has heard, the court will find that, indeed, there was a striking of the paper on the head of Mr." @&%^#$ " in this particular matter, and in return he grabbed your arm. That is not the type of abuse this is defined here for family abuse to get a protective order."

As for me also being threatened to be thrown out for COMTEMPT of court when I got so highly upset that my attorney was STOPPEd from intoducing evidence of ACTUAL abuse of my daughter, and mostly so emotionally upset when hearing the LIES WESTLEY WOVE and that his attorney was trying to present ME AS A LIAR which just SHOCKED ME AND UPSET ME SO MUCH THAT I BLURTED OUT IN RESPONSE TO THE QUESTION "is this your writing"
"YES AND IT SAYS HERE " then I READ the part about my daughter being hit on the abdomen by WESTELY

and got reprimanded by the court for my impertinance

Well I have one thing to say.

MY EMOTIONAL OUTBURT WAS AN EXCITED UTTERANCE!

AS SUCH it should have been CLEAR that when under the duress and shock of my husband lying on the stand , that MY IMPULSIVE AND UPSET RESPONSE SHOULD BE GIVEN THE CREDENCE OF BEING MOST LIKELY TRUTHFUL!

That is indeed the HERESAY EXCEPTION RULE FOR EXCITED UTTERANCES

Well I think it IRONIC that EXCITED UTTERANCES are ACCEPTED AS MOST LIKELY TRUE

EXCEPT WHEN UTTERED IN THE COURT IN A PROCEEDING

THEN THEY ARE CALLED CONTEMPT

AND THEN THAT BEHAVIOR IS TAKEN AS TO MAKE THE PERSON WHO WAS SO UPSET TO BE SEEN AS UNCREDIBLE!

To me that is a huge unjustifiable contradiction in law.

And if indeed my husband SUCCEEDS in LYING and OBVISCATING TRUTH and I am not BELIEVED as I haven't aired ALL THE DIRTY LAUNDRY and thought it was only necessary to mention what was LEGALLY SUFFICIENT TO PROTECT MY CHILDREN AND MYSELF rather than be NASTY

Well then it will be a sad day for JURISPRUDENCE

And a VERY SAD DAY for anyone interested in our society actually NOT ACCEPTING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

It sad enough that when victimize it IS OFTEN The case that it is SO DIFFICULT TO LEAVE. I know I MINIMIZED I KNOW I LOVED MY HUSBAND AND I KNOW I HAD FAITH AND HOPE AND TRUST WE COULD WORK THROUGH THIS. I STILL DON'T ACCEPT THAT WAS NAIVE. I STILL BELIEVE SOME CAN OVERCOME EVEN THIS LEVEL OF ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS. ONCE MAKING THE CHOICE TO LEAVE WHEN OUR RELATIONSHIP HIT SUCH A LEVEL OF DANGER THAT WAS DIFFERENT FROM THE PAST, THEN TO SEE HOW MANIPULATED AND HOW A SYSTEM CAN OFFER POOR PROTECTION FOR WOMEN AND KIDS IS REALLY SCARY!

I APPEAL TO ANYONE WHO HAS ANY INVOLVEMENT WITH ADVOCACY AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE TO FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME AND LOOK UP THIS CASE AND READ IT ALL AND SEEK MY EVIDENCE AND IF YOU ARE CONVINCED OF THE WRONGNESS OF THIS PLEASE FILE AN AMICUS WHAT's IT CALLED FRIEND OF THE COURT BRIEF ON THIS MATTER
BUFFLO FRIENDS, LAW GUARDIANS, CHILDREN'S GUARDIANS WHOMEVER... READ AND PASS ON

I COULD be kicked out of our family home.

My husband COULD get his divorce on grounds of abandonment.

And THEN HIS MOTION FILING FOR SEPARATE MAINTENANCE SUDDENLY MAKES SENSE!! IT LOOKS LIKE HE IS THE ONE THEN IN NEED OF SUPPORT AND THINGS ARE TWISTED

SCARILY HE COULD GET FULL CUSTODY!

What I am waiting for now is for the revelation that when my ID of my Social Security card and my VA liscence were lifted that SOMEHOW SOMEONE GOT A JOB IN MY NAME.... maybe that is a bit over the top imagination. But BASED ON THE REALITY of the REST of the WEIRD EVENTS I am JUST WAITING FOR THE NEXT THING. The only thing LEFT would be FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO SEEK CHILD SUPPORT FROM ME IF HE WERE TO WIN CUSTODY BASED ON Lying! If he were to win based on the REAL CONVERSATIONS he HAS WITH ME WHERE HE SAYS NONSENSICAL THINGS ABOUT NON EXISTANT PRIOR CONVERSATIONS AND REFERS TO THINGS I NEVER SAID

It made me nervous that he didn't want me to pick up the kids AT THE SAME PLACE AND TIME AS WE HAVE BEEN DOING. I HEARD THE JUDGE ORDER VISITATION CHANGED FROM FRI TO THU. I DO NOT RECALL ANY SPECIFIC TIME MENTIONED. SO WHEN MY HUBBY SAID THE JUDGE WAS CLEAR IN SAYING 7pm I said THAT IS STUPID. ITs TOO LATE. But I was ALSO SUSPICIOUS And waiting for the allegation I didn't bring them at 6pm as I was supppossed to !

When he says "THE JUDGE SAID I HAVE THEM UNTIL 10 AM on MONDAY" likewise I think he is lying. I BELIEVE THE JUDGE SAID HE IS TO TAKE THEM TO SCHOOL MONDAY MORNING

Once again, not sure what the intention of his lying is. But it can't be GOOD

I TOLD HIM I BELIEVED IT WAS ORDERED UNTIL SCHOOL AND I WOULD LIKE TO PICK THEM UP AT SCHOOL WHEN HE DROPS OFF THE OLDER GIRLS.

No School MOn for PRESIDENTS DAY so I will pick them up at 10 am and not worry about this for now. My philosophy is that it is hardly worth arguing EXCEPT I THINK HE IS TRYING TO EXTEND HIS TIME AND THEN GET IT INTO THE TIME FRAME WHICH MEETS REQUIREMENTS OF JOINT CUSTODY... that's my theory.

Who knows. I have to look that up.
But for now I really need to learn EVIDENCE inside and out. I never have had the luxury of study time so it shouldn't be THAT hard! I AM THRILLED to have my AU PAIR here so I can REALLY STUDY! YAH!!!
** What still baffles me most of all is the Judge's decision that Westely could bring up the Nuptial Issue as a DEFENSE. That's what he said, in relation to me asking for relief. Yet when looking at the docket history the actual action was BY WESTELY FOR HIM SEEKING SEPARATE RELIEF AND MAINTENANCE. I think my divorce attorney WAS dead on in trying to attack that action as not having met the requirements as he did not state WHY he was out of the home (due to violence), and the policy for supporting such actions is to provide support for the one who left WHO HAD BEEN DEPENDANT. She argued this on FEBRUARY 2. In this case HE is the Breadwinner of the family. So his attorney creatively succeeded in HIM FILING FOR SEPARATE MAINTENACE OSTENSIBLY AS THE JUDGE ALLOWED THAT SUCH THAT THE NUPTIAL COULD BE LOOKED AT. So on FEB 2 my attny mentioned violence, and the Judge Chamblin ruled and had an order which I was TOLD read something like Nuptial may be addressed and raised as an affirmative defence When I was told that I said "So the order really says NOTHING NEW?" I mean That is STATUS QUO for anyone who ever signed a nuptial. I really think that makes no sense. So I now wonder WHY I NEVER GOT A COPY of that order from the 2nd. I also wonder why I Never got any copy of the ORDER VERBALLY made by Judge Horne on the 8th. When I asked to look at that file this past Tue it was not available as it was sent up to the judge with my pleading that had been filed the day before. (albeit improperly as my counsel hadn't filed a motion to withdraw!) ONe thing which is good is that a law guardian was appointed for the children. Perhaps this is just the result of victimization- but I really just don't TRUST AND BELIEVE that I have safety and security yet. I won't believe in the strength of any order until it is in writing as in the past Westely IGNORED verbal orders. Additionally I haven't gotten a child support check and he said some bullshit of the amount having to be worked out by the judge in the order. That's crap. The judge ordered Child support based on my income of ZERO at this time, and his income as stated in the hearding. (He was honest about that). The judge ordered we are to remain living where we are without harassment . There is no MATH to be worked out other than one simple calculation AS THE JUDGE DID NOT ORDER THE AMOUNT BE ADJUSTED IN ANY WAY BASED ON HIS PAYMENT OF MORTGAGE. Its a very basic simple calculation. NOt rocket science, so he is merely avoiding that obligation for as long as he can in the hopes of getting out of it. One other thing that bothers me, the judge DID ORDER Support RETROACTIVE. The counsel for my husband asked if they could deduct payments made, and the judge said "certainly the one made in January." NOw I HOPE THAT MEANT RETROACTIVE FROM WHEN I FILED THE SUPPORT ACTION IN THE DOMESTIC COURT! THat case WAS NOT HEARD and the JUDGE THERE signed off on it that it was being heard in CIRCUIT COURT persuant to divorce action. Now my divorce action was not filed until JAN despite my having TOLD my attorney to file for divorce way back in NOV and I am worried that this retroactive order is NOT TAKING THAT INTO CONSIDERATION but might only be from date of the circuit action! That would be total BULL SHIT I am VERY unsettled as from the court record of filings, without a transcript, I think it LOOKS ON THE RECORD like he was asking ME for support. I dont recall which hearings had a court reporter but in hindsight I would be willing to bet THAT ONE ON FEB 2 DIDN'T. That was the ONE HEARING in which my attorney DID ARGUE about violence Alot of what has been going on makes so little sense until looking at the record of filings and what is on the court record and realizing that on PAPER it has been carefully shaped to APPEAR that my Ex is the one filing for separate maintenance and support, (despite Judge Chamblin saying he would allow that action in order to hear the argument of the nuptial as a DEFENSE.. .THAT JUST makes no sense!) I MEAN WHAT JUDGE WOULD ALLOW AN AFFIRMATIVE ACTION TO BE MADE IN ORDER TO RAISE A DEFENSE??? Weird! Procedurally wacky Today it is SAT and the fifth day from when I was given notice to vacate. I am glad to have filed the NOTICE of my intent to APPEAL the PPO decision of the Loudoun Circuit Court. But I am still nervous as I am STILL going to be faced with the UNLAWFUL DETAINER ACTION which is just such Bull. Unfortunately if my PLEADING never gets looked at as it was improperly filed regarding the nuptial issue, it is very possible that when that Unlawful detainer action hits circuit court THERE STILL will not be ANY RECORD of the actual violence in the circuit court! And I will bet once again the court date will be SO SOON that there will not be ample time to soupena witnesses. So I will keep posting here and let everyone know dates and times of hearings so if anyone who HAS HAD EXPERINCES with me and my family comes across this that they can show up to testify if they will! The hearing on custody and support was SUPPOSED to have been July 17, and July 18th. But the WEIRD PART IS THAT DATE IS NOT IN RELATION TO MY DIVORCE ACTION THAT DATE WAS ON THE DOCKET IN RELATION TO MATTER # 43267 which was MY HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT FOR SEPARATE RELIEF AND MAINTENANCE! So that seems like manipulation and BS to me. I believe the so called seeking of the "emergency" hearing WAS REALLY DONE in order to try to get me out of this house sooner rather than have me remain here with kids until JULY. Because by having that hearing NOW it meant that the support and custody issue will be addressed NOW. I think MY ATTORNEY PULLING MY CHILD SUPPORT CASE FROM THE DOMESTIC COURT was odd and not in my interest. I think Then MY ATTORNEY FAiling to argue that the nuptial was signed under coersion and duress was not professional or ethical on her part. But most of all, the actual hearing of SEPARATE MAINTENACE being asked for by MY HUSBAND is the most disconcerting. It just makes no sense whatsoever. At least Judge Horne seemed to have been discerning in not falling for the crap of my husband in seeking to kick me out and get custody. But I am STILL WORRIED that the whole trial record is not reflective of the truth of what has gone on AT ALL. I feel like it is being created FOR THE PURPOSE of an appeal out of this local jurisdiciton where it will be even HARDER to have witnessess show up.

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