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2007-03-02 - 8:51 p.m.

Very tired right now.

The day went very well though.

The only real glitch is that upon returning home I discovered that not only all the business records, but also a bunch of CD roms and software and routers and computer programs were also lifted from the study.

I believe that would be because there are copies of financials on back up discs that were SOMEWHERE in that cabinet. I would bet someong took the whole shelf of contents to be sure not to MISS what they were INTENDING TO LIFT such that it was not missed.

I actually didn't bother calling the sheriff this morning. I INTENDED to do so but realized it was WAY more important to be on time for court hearings, and ALSO WAY more important TO ME in the moment to head out to get coffee at a lovely local coffee shop. This AM my coffee buddy had a conference call so we hadn't planned on meeting for the coffee chat, however since I was a whole HOUR LATE the first time, and then the SECOND time I actually BLEW HIM OFF As I OVERSLEPT I figure I had better redeem myself if I want to keep this friend and
1. show up next time and
2. show up on time

We ADHD folks often do have social impairments at times due to that type of thing.... so I thought if I actually make EFFORT to get into a ROUTINE for Friday coffee that it more likely I will be on time in the future!

I never really REALIZED how socially inept ADHD sometimes renders those of us with it until I read DRIVEN TO DISTRACTION
which I thought wonderful.

I picked up the follow up and was SO TREMENDOUSLY DISAPPOINTED.

I in fact thought that book just STUNK.

Really... it was like everything that Hollawell could have said that was USEFUL and INSIGHTFUL had been said, so all that was left were case studies. The problem I had was that in his second book he seemed to have this attitude that ADHD allowed some adults to BE EXCUSED FROM RESPONSIBILITY

I really just don't accept that. Maybe it was just my take, but when he talked of one of the dudes in an early chapter of the book who had been so unhappy in life due to his ADHD and NO ONE UNDERSTANDING HIM and his wife having unreasonable intolerent expectations so the Dr helped him "ACTUALIZE and be HAPPY" with himself by doing something like taking off to Tibet and abandoning his family in the quest and becoming a actualized monk....

Oh wait... wrong book... and it wasn't TIBET... that was MERTON... oops

In any case, whatever the guy did, it just smacked of selfishness and IRRESPONSIBLE ABANDONMENT OF HIS LIFE RESPONSIBILITIES

and the WOE IS ME song didn't evoke any empthay from me.

I just never really got that attitude.

So tired now as it was a somewhat intense day for me.

I was glad to get through the motion to remove counsel in what I think was a TACTFUL manner.

I really DID like my attny. I had some issues of concern, but that is not unusual. Overall I think she really did advocate well for me (despite my venting here which is the WHOLE FUNCTION OF JOURNALING... to work through concerns and emotionally DUMP IT ALL AND DEAL WITH IT... then LIFE GOES ON.

I guess some women do that by being CHATTY with each other. For some reason I hate hearing women complain and I have so little patience for it, and I couldn't ever stand to LISTEN to any GOSSIPERS.

I can recall the clusters of women I worked with in the past who would gather over coffee and GOSSIP when at work. I just HATED that and would walk away or actually SAY SOMETHING about it.

This fascinates me in a way as writing in this site, now AWARE that some folks actually do read it (which is substantially different than BEFORE when no one read it!)

I LOVE to write. And I love to use this as a cathartic means of remaining healthy.

But I am concerned about the actual GOSSIPY NATURE of a journal ONCE SHARED.

That's somthing I don't really care for.

So I am going to try to be more congnizent of remaining COURTEOUS to those surrounding me!

I have no intention of changing the HONESTY of my writing.

But it did occur to me after taking the BAR EXAM that as I hope to be LISCENSED and PRACTICE LAW myself that I should demonstrate RESPECT for those in the profession.

There is certain DECORUM that goes along with Professional Ethics.

And since at this point I am representing myself PRO SE, it means I have to communicate DIRECTLY with Westley's counsel.

I think I will therefore remind myself regarding certain matters a phrase my mother often said that I ofen quote to the girls:

"IF you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"

To achieve that I think I am going to TRY to write about ANYTHING ELSE on my mine to RELAX and try to not write about litigation. Might work....

But first I have to mention one last litgation related thing. ITs the ADHD MOMENT OF THE WEEK

I really thought ME DROPPING AND BREAKING the indicator a hostess handed me when in NORFOLK at a restaraunt which was suppossed to buzz and let me know when my table was ready would win this week. Alas, that wasn't the moment. It was up there in particular as after six children the very FIRST TIME a phone landed in the toilet was just a few weeks ago when Alexy decided to drop my cell phone and watch it splash when at church. I in fact broke the indicator as I CLUTZILY knocked it into the toilet. Then I called to chat with Katerina and Soren while waiting for my table (after having cleaned off and dried both phone and hands... ) and I talked so long I realized I had to move my car out of the VALET spot it was in, and only then figured out the extended wait was because I indeed BROKE the darn indicator.

THat's the runner up of this weeks ADHD moment.

THIS WEEKS ADHD MOMENT is yet a more amusing bathroom related incident.

I was SO PLEASED to have achived ONE GOAL TODAY. (And I promise after this important detail no more legal talk!) After having files disappear, and after having been THREATENED with an unlawful detainer action, it occurred to me that the EVIDENCE of me having FILED THE APPEAL OF THE PPO might come in handy should Westley file an unlawful detainer action and should- let's just image--- perhaps a SHERIFF show up at my door... Hmmm... I IMAGINED that it just might then be HELPFUL to be able to DEMONSTRATE there is a protective order which is under APPEAL at the VA COURT OF APPEALS. MY TO DO LIST did indeed have on it REQUEST TRIAL RECORD TO BE SENT TO VA COURT OF APPEALS.

I WAS pleased that unlike the last time I went to the records room and the guy said "We just usually copy the cover sheet" I DIDN'T THIS TIME DEFER To the clerk who said ....getting tired... forget whatever it was...

OH YEAH! I didn't DEFER and follow his comment of "YOu don't need to do anything. If you filed the Notice of Appeal we automatically send the trial record."


So I insisted and achieved that today.


Now considering all the LEGAL files DISAPPEARED FROM MY HOUSE (Oh yeah...not sure if I mentioned that! I know I wrote of the FARM BUSINESS FILES. Well ALL my legal files disappeared), I was being EXTRA CAUTIOUS and wanted to ENSURE THAT I ALWAYS HAD ACCESS TO THIS CONFIRMATION OF THE TRIAL RECORD REQUEST SENT TO THE APPEALATE COURT.

I THINK that as LONG as I have EVIDENCE of that appeal, I will be safe with kids in my home AS IF WE STILL HAD THE PPO, as when under appeal a matter CAN NOT BE CHANGED but is honored until a new judgement is rendered on the matter.

So in my infinate creative wisdom, I put a copy in a very secure place, knowing it won't get lost, misplaced or forgotten or pilfered... knowing no one would have access to it (!! ) and lo and behold soon it didn't seem so smart or clever, but rather FOOLISH and WORTHY OF THE ADHD MOMENT OF THE WEEK when my precious paper joined both the cell phone and the now broken retaraunt table ready indicator in their fates....

IT went for a swim.

And there I was once again washing the submerged yellow paper (and cracking up that when copied this one was actually ON YELLOW paper...) applying soap and CLEANING THE NOW SOPPING DOCUMENT and then washing my hands yet again.

Don't worry opposing counsel. I am not passive aggressive. The one I mailed you is clean and white and not germ laden.

AHHHH... going to bed to read now. I picked up a few good library books and on that final note am going to enjoy READING THEM IN BED.

I also picked up a really amazing novel I am totally enjoying! IT was written by an actual poet friend of my poet acquaintence, OK I believe I can still call friend from afar in a quirky way... and this is really written for her AS I KNEW the name of this author from her acclaim of her. So when I SAW her FIRST NOVEL in an AMAZING NORFOLK BOOKSTORE I really just HAD TO BUY IT. I was in fact almost annoyed at myself as there was another book I REALLY WANTED (OK A FEW MORE THAN ONE...) but I tried to take a mental note of them and went to the library upon arriving home from Norwalk to add them to my AMAZON wish list and ordered some from the library. OH IT WAS WONDERFUL to GO TO THE BOOKSTORE AND LIBRARY AND AMAZON SITE AS THE FIRST THINGS AFTER DONE WITH THE BAR EXAM!!

Hey some really cute (and seriously YOUNG) bar exam applicant even invited me to join him and his D.C. big firm cronies at THE BAR after the exam...
but that bookstore was just calling my name. HE had some awful line at lunch as he was getting his Starbucks like "So how about a drip line of caffine into my veins?" and some horrible "There's a tequila with my name on it..." before inviting me to join him... at which I wanted nothing more than to run the other way.

No he was really just YOUNG. AndI just didn't feel at all young around him... I need someone OLDER than me to make me feel young I guess! I am way too maternal. Here I am worrying about my au pair who is out. I am SO HAPPY she made a friend of another au pair... but it IS like having an older teenager and my maternal instinct has kicked in. But I digress most horribly (as it is clearly after my medication's timeframe of effectiveness!)

BAck to THE BOOK that superceded all those books I LONGED to buy... I didn't REALLY want to spend ANY MONEY AT ALL.

I picked it up with low expectations. I really admire the work of this writer I have known very well. But at the same time I USED TO THINK we had very different taste in certain things (like reading material.)
So I was buying this book out of EXCITEMENT that her good friend had a first novel out.
But at the same time, I thought of JOYCE CAROL OATES who I characterize as having written a good story... once.... but I get REALLY TIRED of hearing THE SAME STORY OVER AND OVER AGAIN. The disgruntled dysfunctional woman in a mid life crisis whose world is teetering on the cusp of insanity yet somehow is able to overcome it to emerge, not unscathed, not necessarily stronger, but ALIVE at least.

Joyce Carol Oates often has those depressing stories. I can only take so much dysfunction in fiction. Give me a RELAXING READ I'm not into desensitizing myself to relax so reading about addictions to me is one of the least relaxing things. I just have a hard time identifying with that ever present topic. Perhaps I am just STILL Too much of an old fashioned prude in some ways! I just can't apprechiate shock, dysfunctional, angry women ficton.

So it was with literal RELUCTANCE that I picked up this book, then put it down, then picked it up again thinking " I JUST HAVE TO BUY THIS"

I even put STORMING THE COURT back on the shelf.

Moreso as I was curious to glimpse the birthed fruit of my FRIEND's friend.

And I opened it and started to read.

And was MOST PLEASANTLY SUPRISED and also JUST A BIT SHOCKED and I can hardly even EXPLAIN just how incredible it was that I picked up THAT PARTICULAR BOOK in THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT OF MY LIFE.

Its just one of those seemingly little and apparently CHANCE encounters that end up at times being so pivotal.

I have had a NUMBER of them lately.

I think my friend, now really more distant acquaintence from afar will really understand the impact of that book for me. I think should she read this she will KNOW what it is I am referring to.

There is a distinct reason I am not specifically mentioning the TITLE here.

Sometimes we need a brick to the head so to speak to REALLY SEE what we NEED TO SEE.

For me, this creative work which spoke such TRUTH just brought such CLARITY regarding a number of things.


The book I read was the closest thing to a work which actualizes what I would someday like to achieve as a writer.

It reminded me of THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT which is THE ONLY OTHER book that I think I read and said WOW as it so authentically told this incredible story from a unique perspective.

ON that note, enough writing. I have a wonderful book to finish. One which in a very REAL WAY just may have an impact on my REAL LIFE in a way that I am willing to bet the author could never have fathomed.

Someday I hope to tell that story.
And someday I hope to thank her.

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