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2007-07-29 - 9:01 a.m.

I found this article very interesting.

I always was of the inclination to think that IQ is just not at all important in the scheme of things. I read this thinking that might be confirmed. The details of this struck me for a different reason however. I guess I didn't know what the average IQ is and it DOES seem to make a difference in income potential. I know that the measures of financial success they are using are really not measures of much at all. I mean, seeing if someone was ever late on a payment seems to be such a trivial issue in actually considering ones financial success. IF you are wealthy and late on occassion no one really gives a hoot. Believe me they will still want your money to invest for their benefit, and won't be crying much that you just had to pay them interest.

I swear the real truth of it is that anyone who WANTS to make money SEEK those they can make money off of!

So yes credit reports are important. You don't want a PERFECT one... in fact if you are the PERFECT fiscally responsible person you will NEVER live beyond means and therfore NEVER have an actual credit history! Those who are financially most stable have trouble getting loans etc.. When independently wealthy from things like options etc.. its hard to explain that to the dude who is filling in the standard forms that don't account for that.

So in a strage irony, one of the most important things to do for your financial stability is to PLAY THE CREDIT GAME of using the credit lines simply to build a history.

It was a HARD thing to actually conceptualize LIVING on credit for me as I ride out this phase of life. However I definately fall into that category of one who has absolutely NO FEAR of doing so. The thing that surprised me about this article was the affirmation that there is a correlation between IQ and earning potential, and jus how few people fall in that range of above 120. I had no idea.

Considering something like only 5% of the population has advanced degrees, this article made me feel MORE CONFIDENT that I have made a very sound fiscal decision to ride it out on credit during the years the children are small and I know it is in their interest that I remain home.

Heck... they will do much better in the end if I do. And I know for both THEIR AND MY FUTURE that is the BEST investment of all!

IT was wonderful to listen to Katerina working on teaching Raitlin how to read. Moments like these make it all worthwhile: When the kids all were putting on a show for me the other day

When Alexy was "making you beautiful Mommy" and combing my hair. She was doing so standing behind me just thrilled as I wrote an article one morning. I send a quick e-mail to a friend and got back the reply "Hold on to your roots" to which I responded
"I am, as I recall my mother fondly telling the story of when I was three and so proud of making her beautiful as she smiled and patiently built my esteem despite the yanking and pulling and temporary pain she needed to sustain" (KAterina passed by and laughed at the sight of Alexy so proud and said "payback Mommy!" for all the pain of hair combing the girls all have to undergo!)

No matter how gently Mothers try to comb, there will always be some tension and untangling which cause tears in smoothing out the kinks as we assist in revealing the natural beauty of our children. Taming requires refinement and direction to not be so wild, even though some think the natural wildness has its own beauty. It is a process to learn that there is a time and place to let hair just go, and the patience and control has to be learned for all the rest of the time.

So it is a wonderful thing to watch the girls take care of my hair as well as theirs.

THE fact that they also apparently all cut their own bangs-- and did so very well over the past few days is yet another story...

I ran into a man at the store once who asked if I homeschool. I had said no. It was one of those weeks when Raitlin had just given herself a haircut and was PROUD of the job she did, depite the fact I was working on reinforcing that she is not allowed to take the scissors without permission and supervision.

After her boasting, the guy turned to me and said in delight" I thought you said you didn't homeschool? "

It was reinforcing at the time as he meant it as a grand compliment.

Considering that the haircuts the girls gave yesterday were all so good that they all have shorter but STRAIGT bangs, I now understand his comment.

There is something wonderful in knowing that IN REALITY I don't REALLY HAVE TO WORRY about the girls using scissors. There is something wonderful in knowing that I set all these rules NOT BECAUSE THEY REALLY NEED THEM , but JUST SO THEY CAN SOCIALLY FIT IN.

THere is something wonderful in knowing that the only reason I put the restriction on RAITLIN'S use of the kitchen was for the intentional learning of social norms and as an exercise in discipline and limit setting and learning of social boundaries as well as personal boundaries which is so essential in raising children.

IT is a balancing act of teaching those social norms and fostering the creativity and ability of my children.

So once again I gave the reprimand regarding the use of scissors and reinforced the girls are NOT ALLOWED TO HELP THEMSELVES TO THEM

But since these are not guns (which I would of course ACTUALLY not ever have around or have truly not available) AT THE same time, I KNOW there is really no harm to the girls and that my restriction is really just to find an execize in social norms. So I DO delight (secretly so as to not give a mixed message to them) in the fact once again they gave darn good haircuts.

And when Sadie came running to say "Raitlin is cutting her socks" in alarm, it was with gentleness that I listened as Raitlin delightly ran into the study to proudly show me "I made a dress for whaly and dolphin!"
and she showed me the dressed that fit over the little dolls head with arm holes perfectly cut and a little rolled coller of white cotten at the neck of the garmets that fit so perfectly clinging to the beloved tiny stuffed dolls from the fabric that once snugly covered Raitlin's toes.

I aid "Beautiful and clever! Lovely Raitlin, but do not cut up any more socks OK?"
and to Sadie in reassurance as she is the first born rule follower and worrier "Don't worry, she has more socks and this is a creative use of them and very clever-- so we can enjoy her play and creativity. She won't cut any more up right Raitlin?"

Who then said of course she wouldn't.

Thank goodness for Pocahontas who often is the bearer of gifts of hand me downs that recently included a big bag FULL of socks of all colors.

We are ready just in case Whaly gets a moment where the white dress is not working and seeks some color in her wardrobe...

ANd heck, some worry about the boundry issues of the kids.

I don't.

I know that as kids my siblings and I were as creative and as smart and always thought outside of the box.

Some are freaked and have said "I have never seen kids use materials the way they do in play. They never use things for what they are intended for."

And I think they perhaps have never seen a group of creative bright children who are allowed to actualize potential...

To me the limits that are important are those regarding respecting people and things. The limits are those of maintaing order and structure in a healthy functional way-- so enforcing that even when Katie doesn't want to she HAS to learn to follow orders AS THEY ARE GIVEN

(HA HA... I recognize difficulty of that!)

Its an important life skill.

So to me the important limits are that the kids learn that THEY ALL MUST MAKE BEDS and CLEAN rooms and help with setting the table and clearing after each meal.

They all must take turns with the vacume and mop and all much pitch in. They all must also learn to respect each other to allow others private time in their space to read or play or work on a puzzle ALONE when requested.

WE do well with all of that overall.

Boundaries and limits on what the kids EAT and how much sleep they get is also most important for kids.

LEarning to get ready to go places and leave ON TIME is another one! (NOt my forte I know!)

I had no intention of writing about this at all, but at some level I think that the whole notion of IQ is so irrelevant yet I wonder how much IQ is affected by the factors of diet, sleep and even moreo how much freedom of being creative and developing their own minds children are given.

I have this strong sense that we sometimes thwart self development of children because we are fear driven and feel like we have to set limits and boundaries in cases where there is no functional need to.

Considering where I live it just seems silly to be afraid to let kids run and play and discover the natural world. Yet many act like the level of supervision should be THE SAME as required for an inner city urban setting where there are truly more dangers: traffic, crime, more people, etc...

There are sufficient reasons to say NO to children such that they DO learn limits and boundaries such that I think to do so when not necessary is not the best thing as I think it then thwarts intellectual and emotional development.

People can be socially integrated and act perfect in society and yet be emotionally a wreck.

I think that the recent NASA story revealed this--

That those who are such achievers to the world often hide their emotional issues.

I think this all comes down to balance in life.

In our home we chose to live in the rural area precisely so that we would have that environmement where the children had greater freedom for the best self development possible, not hindered by the normal FEARS of the world and society that are real and therefore can not be ignored when in a more populated setting.

It is wonderful to not have TV in my home. I love the intellectual creativity and the phyciality of the children's play. I love that they explore nature and run around outdoors with my watching from the kitchen as I cook homemade meals. I love that they know a carrot came from the ground. I love that they have in fact planted the seed and harvested the produce (and miss that this year we didn't do so)

I love living so close to nature and nurturing my children in this environment.

Yet when I read that article I was encouraged that if I have to change this lifestyle I have the income potential to find a decent job and we will be just fine from the economic standpoint.

Although it would not be in the children's interest to have to give up this lifestyle.. if their Father really pushes and for some reason does not see this as being worth maintaining-

we shall get by.

It won't be as optimal or ideal, but it will still be good wherever we end up.

I guess I am just at great peace in my life and ready for whatever happens.
That's a good place to be.

I would like for it to be a continuation of this peaceful home life we have achieved here.

ITs been so wonderful to enjoy- truly enjoy this summer.

I haven't had this much time to enjoy my children in years.

Its been so wonderful to be able to listen to them sing freely, paint pictures and play creatively without criticism.

I know that in the end the gift of teaching them of unconditional love of self and others, and forgiveness, compassion and self worth and God's hand in our lives are the most important things to offer my children.

I know I can do that anywhere.

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