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2007-10-02 - 5:32 a.m.

Tangled Up IN PINK

Early one mornin' before the sun was shinin',
I was layin' in bed
Wond'rin' if I should get up
Take the little ones to the bathroom .
My folks thought our lives together
Sure was gonna be nice
He said he loved Mama's homemade dress
Papa's bankbook was big enough.
YEt I was left standin' on the side of the road
Rain fallin' from the sky
On a dark drive on the back country roads
Told "sign or you'll die "
I've paid my dues I think,
Tangled up in pink.

I was married when we first met
Soon to be divorced
He helped me out of a jam, I guess,
But then used a little too much force.
He drove that car as fast as he could
Threatened to Abandon me
Should have split on that dark sad night
Both agreeing it was best.
He turned around to look at me
With those wild eyes of one who can't think
I heard him say over my shoulder,
"Who will find you on this avenue,
Tangled up in pink."

He had a few jobs in the great tech bubble
designed networks for AOL, working as a CEO for a spell
But he didn't like it all that much
and one day the market just fell.
Emerging from the rubble
he drifted back to the California coast
Workin' for a while on a corporate board
Pretending he was whole.
But all the while HE felt alone
The past was close behind,
NO matter what he wanted others to think
He clearly lost his mind,
Bitter as he continued to sink
Tangled up in pink.

My EX was still in a soulless place
barely living on who knows what and beer,
I just kept lookin' at my children's faces
Their need for a father was so clear.
So we tried every therapy
Imago, anger management and compassion power
but the cycle did not change
He was standing there in back of my chair
I felt like I didn't even know my own name
As he'd scream at me I'd hold my breath
In a state so very strange
I must admit I felt more than a little uneasy and knew the end was near
When objects were flung at me along with words
Wasn'r surprised when the next thing thrown was me across the floor And knew soon I had to head out the door
But the last straw was when he drove without tying the kids in the car seats I think,
and one girl's belly swelled with his hand print
Tangled up in pink.

A neighbor lit a burner on the stove

offered me warm food and a cell phone
"You need to do what is right," she said
"Can't have him terrorizing the home."
She opened up The Good Book
and handed it to me
Written by a converted soul in a letter To Timothy
Every one of them words rang true
And glowed like burnin' coal
Pourin' off of every page
Like it was written in my soul and made me think,
Tangled up in pink.

I lived with them on Forest Mills Rd
With the broken basement lock he busted forcin entry near the stairs,
There was music in the house at night
And revolution in the air.
When he started dealing with us as slaves
And something inside of him died.
I had to sell the dream we had owned
All hope for it frozen up inside.
And when finally the bottom fell out
I fought becoming withdrawn,
The only thing I knew how to do
Was to keep on keepin' on
like a ship barely staying aflot to not sink,
Tangled up in pink.

So now I'm here back again,
Caring for kids somehow.
All the people we used to know
They're an illusion to me now.
Some are mathemeticians
Some are carpenter's wives.
Don't know how it all got started,
I don't know what they're doin' with their lives.
But me, I'm still at home alone
Combing the little girls' tangles fron their hair
as the scream at me with sheer terror in their eyes
at the torture of my brush and pain still there
From the tangles of days of being with Daddy
without any gentle touch,
He says he really loves them all
But he always was too rough
We always did feel the same link,
We just saw it from a different point of view,
Tangled up in pink

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