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2008-02-05 - 6:36 p.m.

A little update: Debtors prison has been out of fashion since the time of Dickens!

Little commentary as my Ex called to try to "settle" and offered to forgive my "debt " to him which he seems to believe is in the fourteen thousand dollar range, if I would agree to pay the law guardian in our case in full.

I stupidly almost said "YES" THAT IS until I realized that I might not REALLY actually owe that amount to him anyway!

Then I called back and said "WAIT! I Never got notice, so why should I "Settle" this as I highly doubt in the end I will owe it to you!"

in what I found to be one of the funniest things I have heard in a long time! I recalled the stories of Dickens and the best line of all from A CHRISTMAS CAROL where it is so eloquently stated how Ebbanezzor Scrooge became wealthy preying on the poor widows and children!

In this day and age it is the lawyers who become wealthy preying on divorcees....

But it doesn't make me excited to become a lawyer.

IT makes me think table dancers in West VA are in a more ethical profession than family lawyers. When I commented "There would be no table dancers if it were not for a crappy court system! WHat do the courts expect those women with kids without an education to do when they are given inadequate support to live on?? I CAN"T GET A JOB WITH MY DEGREE" My sharp boyfriend didn't miss a beat and quipped "Yes, if it weren't for lawyers they would be no table dancers"

HA HA HA HA.... I thought that was the best lawyer joke I have heard yet. SO NOW I UNDERSTAND THE INCENTIVE OF THE COURTS!! I FINALLY GET IT! NO WONDER THE GOOD OLD BOYS WANT TO MAKE SINGLE MOM'S DESTITUTE... IF it were not for that there would be no table dancers and than what would prevent the lawyers from escaping their reality and not hating themselves at the end of the day??? I think its a less destructive escape than alcohol...brings joy and relief to them without killing their liver... etc...

OH WELL... I am just happy that table dancing is not something I have to consider! But I am serious that it is unequivocally more ethical than lawyering. I mean those women are doing that to put food on the table for kids. When someone is that low on Maslov's ladder it is more ethical to be concerned about feeding and sheltering your young before being concerned about OTHER VALUES. WHAT IS THE JUSTIFICATION THAT LAWYERS HAVE FOR THEIR CHOICE OF WORK? ARE THEY LITERALLY NOT ABLE TO FEED THEIR YOUNG OR HAVE A HOME AT ALL OTHERWISE?

IF I didn't have young ones of my own to feed I would love to embark on a social study of exotic dancers to discover just HOW MANY get into that for that very reason.

I really think that the numbers might be astounding-- just like the numbers of women and children in homeless shelters who fled domestic violence. And I really think these are the harsh realities that our society should look at and evaluate- AS I think we need to re-evaluate what our priorities our and whether we value mothers raising children.

Considering I had no notice of the date he showed up in Circuit court asking for the judgment of me paying his legal fees of the lost appeal I filed to the VA COURT of APPEALS, I haven't really worried too much about the Judgment for those legal fees I received. I figure if he wants to try to enforce it I can then show up in court and demonstrate I never received notice. I am just so tired of litigation that I would rather avoid it an seek stable employment to pay everyone off than litigate over anything.

"Nail and mail" was the rule I knew...
I received neither letter nor notice on my door. So I was a bit surprised by this Judgement I then received claiming the matter of whether I owed him for the appeallate case came before the court.

But it is not worth it for me to worry about it. I can't afford to take time to think about it as I have better things to do- like JOB HUNT. Heck if I get a job I don't care about paying bills and then can do so and then take on worrying about what ones are not justifiable. I figure there is not much that anyone can do if I CAN't PAY ... as their options are limited. I have no assets to seize. I own nothing. Time with kids can't be limited because one is poor, or because one is not paying a debt or EVEN if one is not paying child support. These things are really only concern when one HAS PROPERTY THAT IS VULNERABLE SHOULD ONE NOT PAY A DEBT.

For those of us with NOTHING We have NOTHING TO LOSE. So it is relatively EASY to actually arrange with everyone I owe to pay what I can per month. In fact, I send all my creditors what I can per month and whether they like it or not I am in good standing!

YES I am even legally in good standing with the attorney office I am paying $30 a month to! (Even thought they for some reason tack on a $90 administrative fee each month- I guess that is what they are billing for my check to be processed!) I think that rather amusing. I just enclose my resume with every bill and a short note indicating if they hire me they will get paid faster....

Job search has been somewhat productive in the sense that I have had a number of decent interviews lately and a few irons in the fire so to speak. No offers as of yet however. Job Fairs are definitely yielding better prospects for me than mailing resumes and trying to network with those I know.

I also just don't think it very kind of him to try to shift the burden of paying the law guardian onto me rather than onto him. He owes her $10,000 for her work. I owe her a few thousand as the cost was amertized based on his income, I pay 17% of her fee and he pays the reminder of 83% if I recall correctly. HE KNOWS If the burden is shifted onto ME THAT SHE DOESN't GET PAID HE HAS PROPERTY SO HE HAD BETTER PAY HER. She can COLLECT it from him. HE CAN BE FORCED TO SELL THE PRECIOUS BMW AND DRIVE A HUNDAI should she want to push the issue!

I am glad for his phone call. He just reminded me that I should send her a lovely thank you note for all her hard work on my children's behalf along with her payment this month. I almost forgot to add her to my creditors list! I also forgot to add my EX. I should send him his $1.00 too (just in case I really do in the end actually end up owing him anything which I still think is highly questionable and should be reviewed further... )

I think this month I have to send the lawyers all $1.00 Sorry folks, I just don't have the other $29 right now... I need to pay for gas to get to my job interviews which have been over an hour and a half away on average.

Life is still a tremendously amusing fun adventure even with the unexpected twists and turns! They make me laugh every single day!

Now off to one of my all time favorite things! A book discussion group! I didn't finish reading the book, but it should be fun anyway. After the 2008 Master Gardeners kick off meeting and some job hunting I am ready to unwind with a good book discussion before bed.

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