2008-02-28 - 10:31 p.m.

I am REALLY REALLY TIRED.

But after spending 5 minutes to clean up my e-mail, I have to vent about this one silly thing. Isn't this just WRONG?:

I received this in an e-mail: "These people visited your profile and left their names:
Name Date
Upgrade to see who this is 11/01/2007
Upgrade to see who this is 10/10/2007
Upgrade to see who this is 10/10/2007
Upgrade to see who this is 10/08/2007
Upgrade to see who this is 09/28/2007
Upgrade to see who this is 08/25/2007
Upgrade to see who this is 07/23/2007
Upgrade to see who this is 07/16/2007
Upgrade to see who this is 07/14/2007
Upgrade to see who this is 02/21/2007
Upgrade to see who this is 02/15/2007
Upgrade to see who this is 01/24/2007 "

I am way to cheap to pay for the subscription to Classmates.com. But more so than that, I think the above is the most evil marketing scheme EVER. Some evil genius thought of how to make money off lonely people...

ANd thought of how to rub it in to those who don't have the discretionary
spending To join "Na Na Na Na Na- YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON ALL THE FUN..." is essentially their marketing message!

Who would have thought that TAUNTING PEOPLE would result in them PAYING YOU FOR A SERVICE???

OH WAIT... LAWYERS! Isn't that what they do often?? And Bill Collectors.... but Marketing folks?

I am adverse to those pushy types who try to make you feel GUILTY to manipulate one into a desired action.

The thing I have to be careful is to not so stubbornly then REFUSE to act as I would have otherwise, BUT FOR the pushy person trying to induce guilt as a motivator. I tend to then just NOT RESPOND to such people at all.

So I have blown off my Mary Kay Director lately. She is a bundle of enthusiasm, but also a successful career salesperson as she is pushy as hell.

I did a cost/ benefit analysis of what it would cost me to go to the weekly sales meetings for the Mary Kay business. IT would be $60 for me to go the weeks without kids (As I would not be able to work the job I would earn $45 at that night, and the meeting is an hour drive time and would take about $5 in gas, and I would have to pay $5 to even attend the meeting (as all participants pay that which goes to the rental of the space they are held in.)
Adding the cost of my sitter the week I do have the kids brings my cost up to $90 JUST TO ATTEND The weekly sales meeting. The location is just TOO FAR from my home. To make it a fiscal gain I would have to bring a guest who then purchased alot of products (or who became a sales consultant whom I recruited and then I would get a percentage of HER sales of Mary Kay forevermore.)

However I then thought about how a therapist is $90 and hour. Some people pay that weekly to keep themselves centered, and some just invest in themselves in ANOTHER way so they don't need a therapist-- like MARY KAY.

So I thought, IT IS WORTH It if the experience is validating and positive and gives an opportunity to connect with other women in a supportive community where we celebrate our personal accomplishments, work on setting and attaining goal, work on balancing life with a job and family, and countless other ways that this can benefit me.

I had no idea I would write about that tonight! I never know what I will end up writing about....
I thought I was going to write about my last day as a model (The portrait class ended and I am not continuing due to other commitments.)
I thought I was going to write about how amazing the girls were today, and about my last night working with the old geezer Westley Incarnate at age 91 . His son said he was feeling well today - and he knew it as the old guy was cursing him out and barking orders. His son is afraid the old guy is going to keep hanging on... That is the sad truth.

I was going to write alot more regarding the above, and about how I gave last rights when we thought he was dying (And anyone can do so although it is typically a priest.) That is a whole long entry I may or may not ever write.

But I am instead going to bed.

But first will write of one other wonderful thing along the lines of the thought "There is no such thing as coincidence":

I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT WE GET WHAT WE ASK FOR IN LIFE. WE ALSO GET WHAT WE WISH FOR.

It's an amazing thing how that works. Lately I have been so very blessed with some marvelous things I have asked for coming to fruition.
But this week, I found the most amazing moment of a wish coming true to be a bizzare yet delightful one. ONce again I think life is filled with these small meaningful moments which one could overlook, but I am grateful when I notice them.

YOu see, I am not one who wishes for something, or asks for something often.

I have been blessed to have found work as I asked for. That week of Christmas when I decided not to travel and believed I would land a job that week was incredible as I did land a job that paid $800 for that week- the EXACT amount I needed for Jan rent.

I have found other jobs to sustain my family and I .

But what is more moving to me, and more miraculous is when a desire for something so offbeat and quirky comes my way.

At Christmas time, I was brainstorming for a gift I could give my boyfriend that he would appreciate and not have already! I hit upon the idea of Martini glasses (if he didn't have them) and the ingredients to make a holiday martini. He doesn't drink mixed drinks or liquor often, so I thought it would be a nice surprise treat. I in fact have only had a few martinis in my life, so I thought it would be fun to explore that with him.

I did a search for Martini recipes. BOY WAS THAT EYE OPENING... THEY SHOULD GIVE WARNINGS BEFORE A MARTINI LIST THAT THOSE RECIPES ARE NOT FOR CHILDREN AND CONTAIN EXPLICIT LANGUAGE and IMAGERY.

At Christmas I decided against the idea as I couldn't stop a the gas station to eat pizza.... OK THAT LAST LINE IS EVIDENCE OF A NARCOLEPTIC TRAIT OF BEING ABLE TO KEEP TYPING WHILE I DOZE OFF INTO A DREAM STATE .... Its interesting to me how I can do that: start a sentence awake, then doze and write of the dream. Glad I awoke before the gas station dream got nonsensical. STOPPING AT A GAS STATION FOR PIZZA?? THAT SOUNDS LIKE I WAS HAVING A NIGHTMARE!

BAck to reality... AT Christmas I didn't follow through on the idea of the Martini gift as I just didn't have the discretionary spending and after looking at the ingredients list, and in particular the price of the needed alcohol to make the Peppermint Martini recipe I decided I couldn't afford it AT THAT TIME.

But I had the thought "This is a great idea! I will follow through with this when I land a full time job and can afford to do so. It will be in celebration!"

Well, I just couldn't believe it when , of ALL THINGS that I was fortunate to take home in my "groceries" from INTERFAITH RELIEF this week- there was a large bottle of MIXER to make Peppermint Martini's!

ISn't that just a Hoot?? I found it hilarious and the highlight of the week! Forget making and drinking a Martini! This is infinitely more inspiring, uplifting and humorous! I think I want to keep that mixer bottle for a while as I will Laugh in Delight every time I see it!

How's that as a testament that we get what we wish for-- EVEN DOWN TO THE SEEMINGLY INCONSEQUNTIAL SMALL THINGS WE ASK FOR IN LIFE.

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