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2009-01-17 - 11:40 a.m.

Its really sunny and bright and beautiful outside today although cold. I have to pack up the Christmas tree and decorations today so its a day of rest and staying at home to get that done. A priority for me this weekend is to also stay home with the girls and introduce as many vidoes, books and music that share some historical information that might help in their understanding of just how Exciting this Inaugaration is for America. I believe the whole country (with only a few exceptions) has joined in the celebration of how far we have come in equality and justice and forgiveness . I believe we are moving forward united in what we share. I am trying to convey, and the extent I can instill that spirit of cooperation and enthusisam and excitement in my girls. Its a bit of a challenge as one came to me in anger alleging I was not supporting her decision to play baseball. What an angry , aggressive tone she had! That resulted from my inquiry of her Dad by e-mail if he INTENDED to sign her up for baseball, or if he meant to sign her up for the Girls softball team. I have no problem supporting her being a trail blazer here in Western Lousoun, but did note that most of the girl friends she knows are on the softball team and that she just might want the socialization with girls her age. But alas she apparently WANTS to play baseball- which is fine. But this not being the most progressive state in the union, I wasn't surprised that all the team pictures of little league were of boys.I just sent an e-mail to DAD posing the quesiton as I thought it was possibly a mistake, or if not wanted to make sure it was HER CHOICE and that she knew of both possibilities. So it is interesting she came back IN ANGER with once again the message having been given to HER by her DAD of a NEGATIVE view of me: HE represented me as NOT BEING SUPPORTIVE. He loves to play such games. Such Bullshit. Every week they come back to me with anger instilled by negative messages he conveys. Ce la vie.... such is my life. The thing is I ususally IGNORE all this nonsense but I realixze that in doing so I ALLOW my girls to be BRAINWASHED and they have started to BELIEVE all the constant negative messages he imparts over and over again. He must have REALLY WORKED on the message "OBAMA IS A LIAR" as they have very strong negative OBAMA feelings. Funny how when they came back with the negatives about someone OTHER THAN ME it ONLY THEN became clear I need to be more REACTIVE in combatting this sick tendency he has. I have never seen little kids with such ANGER and such LEARNED HATRED. Sadly is had been consistenly directed at ME. But now I see them being taught to hate OTHERS TO. So sad. I always ASSUMED that they would judge me by THEIR EXPERIENCES and WHAT THEY SEE... but sadly I have noticed that they also now show this tendency to recall PAST EVENTS DIFFERENTLY from how the occurred. THat is a startling and SCARY thing. It makes me realize they are SO SUSEPTIBLE of MANIPULATION! And it made me question my stance that I needn't either GIVE CREDENCE TO NOR RESPOND To any negative messages. I realize if I don't address them the girls might actually start to BELIEVE THEM. They seem to have this strong belief that OBAMA is a BABY KILLER and a LIAR. If they can be taught to believe that in such a short time, so deeply that I have a challenge in teaching them otherwise, it is a lesson to me in just how EASY IT IS TO TEACH HATE. I always thought EXAMPLES of LOVE would be enough to overcome HATE. But the more I think about it, Martin Luther King JR and Rosa Parks didn't just QUIETLY LIVE A LIFE OF LOVE-- NO THEY PEACEFULLY SPOKE UP AGAINST THE HATE. HITLAR ROSE TO POWER not because the people of Germany were not GOOD PEOPLE but because they WERE PASSIVE AND SILENT when he became strong. So I have to speak up and put great effort into the teaching and as I see it DEPROGRAMMING my children to combat the contstant messages of HATE that I see them being taught. The problem is: I AM TIRED. IT just DRAINS me so much. It gets really old. I am OUT Of the relationship so am not attacked DAILY anymore. But when I get attacked by my OWN CHILDREN in echos of messages they are being taught by their Father, it just breaks my heart; and IT MAKES ME TIRED. So I am trying really hard to find positive things to help my spirit and the teaching of them. Its so sunny out that I hope to get the chores done and get us all outside for some sunshine which helps.

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