Get your own diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

2009-07-25 - 10:46 a.m.

Here's a good article that I found helpful this AM.

Encouraging to me, although I find the more challenging thing as a parent of one I am sure is bi-polar is that many are just not even open to considering the possibility.

I did write a letter to the school counselor and the girls Dad about the one in particular I saw symptoms of this illness in.

No reponse from Dad.

School thinks she is just fine.

They don't seem to notice that she doesn't socialize the way other kids do. Because her aggressive and then alternatly uphoric moods are not seen in school they deny a problem.

In a 15 minute car ride she alternately tried to bite and hit her sister, then a few moments later was giddy and silly and hysterical while planning a surprise party for that same sister.

Boy do mood swings happen intensely and rapidly!

Considering there is a family histoy:

ME with ADHD (Thank GOD I never have depression symptoms!), I suspect my mother dealt with depression at some points (although not diagnosed.)

Paternal side of family - at least one relative diagnosed bi-polar but I suspect more since there are know events in the dark closet of secrets I happen to know of which are indicators of such. I also think the history of my relationship with her Dad is MADE SO VERY CLEAR if considering bi-polar as a possibility in him.

I think the saddest thing of all is when people still look at mental illness with SHAME and BLAME and therefore DENIAL and REFUSE to seek help for something so identifiable and treatable.

When are we going to get out of dark ages of thinking people are Witches, or Posessed, or of less CHARACTER simply because they have an organic difference in their brain which affects their ability to make judgements, and even their capacity for empathy?

A little off topic here- But I watched a marvelous show about Baron Cohens latest brain research which was just fascinating. He has been studing savants who literally see numbers with a VISUSAL sensation. He studied those who have an unexplainable ability to KNOW a mathamatical outcome of a problem to precision WITHOUT having done the calculations. After the calcualtions are done they are shown to have somehow intuitively know the correct outcome, or have brains that are wired such that they calcuate subconsiously somehow.

I have know people who are like that.

They often are considered mentally ill (And often have conditions that are in the DSM IV in conjunction with that incredible gift)

I hope someday we can therefore recognize that just as there is no SHAME in acknowledging ones brain is different such that one has an incredible gift and ability, there is ALSO no SHAME when one has a brain such that they also are challenged with empathy and impulse control, but that there IS A LACK OF ACCOUNTABILITY should there be a REFUSAL TO ACKNOWLEDGE And TRY TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

As for my child with the bi-polar triats, it is my responsbility to continue the discussion of this with her Father and hope we can come to agreement on seeking some support and treatment for her.

I can't see letting her go through life suffering and causing others such trama with her outburst.

Her sisters have all said in those moments THEY ARE AFRAID OF HER.

Today I am just so TIRED after the typical aggression upon transition after I pick them up from Dad.

There is such ANGER and Bitterness spewed AT ME from her which is so very sad. The message is often similar: I am A BAD PERSON BECAUSE I TOOK ALL OF DADDYS THINGS

To me it seems so terrible that she is caught in the stronghold of believing that message to the point that when she first sees me after time away she is consistentely aggressive.

I would hope that her Dad might help to instil a POSITIVE OUTLOOK based on loving thoughts of BOTH PARENTS. I hope he consistently gives her POSITVE MESSAGES in conjunction that which I give her about BOTH HER PARENTS so she overcomes this terrible stronghold.

about me - read my profile! read other DiaryLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get your own fun + free diary at!