2010-02-07 - 10:44 a.m.
What a lovely weekend we are having!
To start off with, it was a fabulous transition with no meltdowns or anger toward me for a lovely change.
I think the head hancho who influences the mood and attitude of the girls was himself preoccupied with the storm so there was no ramping them up to be negative upon return home!
WHOO HOO! WHAT a difference!
They were a delight!
The snow was truly fun for us here at my house. The girls enjoyed sledding yesterday morning while it was still coming down. Raitlin and I stayed out a little longer than the others and really packed it down so the sledding became really good. When we go out later today it will be even better than yesterday.
This morn I have spent being patient while loading photos to share with my parents and family and friends out of town. It takes FOREVER... but I am ALMOST done. Three of the girls are happily playing CAMPING, one of their favorite games, while Sadie is enjoying Harry Potter!
She made a quiet space next to the window behind the couch and is enjoying the peacefulness as I think not all of her sisters know where she camped out with her book! (Or are actually politely leaving her alone.)
There was not a shovel left in any store in town.
I am shovel-less!
He is done with his place so at some point today will come by to again offer the use of his snowblower and electric shovel. ( That is if it is not too uncomfortable to do so as his EX who he has been separated from is there today as well as her power went out at her place! )
My friend might not be up for the drama of dealing with her jealousy of our friendship. I TOTALLY can appreciate that! If he doesn't make it over I will hit up another neighbor to borrow a shovel soon.
But she is leaving him for no other reason that to seek her own happiness and his is BORING to her. She wants more. We are not judging her. We are still trying to be supportive. But her now soon to be EX is just such a NICE GUY and my neighbor that she brought into my world, so why should both Pocohontas and I boot him out of our world when he is still in this orbit and she fled?
She shouldn't be threatened as ALL OF US think nothing would be better than the wife to get over her discontent and just move back home and work it out!
That electric shovel is one cool device that he was glad no one picked up at the numerous garage sales he set it out at over the years. He said it came along with the snowblower which was a Christmas gift one year. I am lucky to be good friends with a neighbor who is so close by! He lives three blocks away and is a great supportive friend. We have gotten into a routine of movie night about once a week which is nice, and I am happy to have introduced him to my sitter (not Pocohantas, but my friend from Bible study who has been watching Alexy when she gets out of kindergarten), who has now joined us on occasion as well. I like having a group of friends come over and hope that Blackford and Buffy can join us too. They used to come over often, along with Art- but we all just got out of that routine long ago (I think as when I was dating the Ex I was spending more time at his place than here. See he was in the end NOT the best boyfriend as the ideal boyfriend would have been MORE willing to just join in my circle of friends more! Its true! He preferred for us to be off at his place and I did have to convince him to join my friends! We always DID HAVE FUN when we got together with Blackford and Buffy and Pohocontas, but I did notice he had a PATTERN of putting down his girlfriend's friends! HE told me of interaction with his EX in which they fought over that (and in fact broke up over that fight), and I pointed out that he was doing the SAME thing in our relationship. I think that in a way his discontent was in fact cause he was UNCOMFORTABLE that I was maintaining friendships with Art and Blackford and that is just so obviously our of insecurity and lack of trust. * Although the friendship with Art isn't' strong as it couldn't be as he needed to move on and get over me after he was not happy with just remaining friends. I at one point deleted Art's # from my phone just so I wouldn't' call and talk to him as my BEST FRIEND as it wasn't fair to ART to have him as the best friend I talk to all the time when he had fallen for me and wanted more. NOt like I hadn't fallen for him too... but made a really HARD conscious choice that would not have been a good relationship for me. That relationship had to be tempered ourselves, but it really wasn't good that my Ex boyfriend was so threatened by that friendship. I mean it was pretty darn clear that had I WANTED Art to be my boyfriend that would have been the case and I wouldn't have wanted to date my BF! Additionally, my Ex he acted like he didn't think I should maintain any friendships at all with other males and that just so not healthy. He was clearly threatened at some level. I even tried to push the point by telling he wasn't being fair and that he had the freedom to go off to meet his Ex, and I didn't give him a hard time--UNTIL He was not willing to enter my world of friends AND he then was clearly not bringing me into his world of friends! THEN I knew IT WAS A PROBLEM and I knew then the reason HE WAS so threatened with my male friends is likely that he HIMSELF is likely one who has more trouble maintaining friends with those of the opposite sex without some element of romance or sexual attraction and interest being there.
Anyway, I really enjoy my friendship with my neighbor but am cautious myself of not being too close to him , as like Art I don't want the same thing to happen. I don't want him to fall for me (if I don't fall for him!) and then have it be a situation where one of us is frustrated or not happy with our relationship as it is.
Now maybe that is the inevitable outcome WHENEVER men and women get really close! Maybe it almost always ends up that if both don't fall in love with each other there is an imbalance which is hard to manage. However I don't think that HAS to be the case! And I think my Marine VB is proof of that. He seems to maintain a number of women friends. (Unless of course he is breaking ALL Of their hearts HA HA... which might be a possibility! )
I need a pseudo name for my neighbor friend. He said once something similar to what Art said, that most guys don't waste time investing in a friendship with a woman unless there is some interest in the possibility of something more. He tells his teenage daughter this so she is not naive. At the time we were heading to a party with Pocohantas and another lady friend. His Ex wife was upset at the time as Pocohontas and he were spending time together. I of course commented , tongue in cheek of course "But of course you are the exception!"
We all know its not really true.
But he is a wonderful man and I think none of us happen to have fallen for him (yet!) so we are introducing him to our other lady friends and in the meantime we all get to go out on dates once in a while!
HEY That is the knickname THE DATE!
YES THAT IS PEFECT!
HE is at this time "The Date".
So At this juncture I am happy to have a VB in my life (Virtual Boyfriend), THE DATE here in VA....and I won't even really get into TOO MUCH discussion of the other very close man in my life who is important to me, however is clearly NOT interested in a relationship with me at this juncture as he has already raised kids, "been there and done that" and I guess similar to my EX doesn't want to be involved when he is not going to follow thorough on a commitment (however NOT similar to my EX figured that out at the BEGINNING of our shared interest and intensely crazy attraction to each other so as to make a wiser choice UP FRONT rather than PRETENDING to be open to a long term relationship with me!) I am so happy to have his friendship however. I would prefer that he would join in our circle of friends and just show up at a movie night, but I think that is just not going to happen. CE la vie... I think it would be easier to maintain a healthy FRIENDSHIP if he would socialize in our group setting. OH well.. so we talk on the phone and get together once in a long while. He is very wise and avoids spending too much time with me! SMART MAN! And as I call him "honorable"
He kinda laughed at that. But I think it is true!
Yes that can be my knickname for him. The HONORABLE ONE.
I love it actually! Honorable in NOT MAKING A COMMITMENT, so not acting as he shouldn't Without the commitment. Honorable as he is now focusing attention on a relationship with a woman in his life who I think he HAS FALLEN IN LOVE WITH, and I am so happy for him and hope it works out! He is being honorable to the commitment he is now making to her to try and see if that works. (Long distance developing of that relationship so time will tell after they get to spend more time together in PERSON. Now it is phone and internet and video based with lots of communication and I hope that blossoms and is as great when they are together in person!)
In addition to Pocohontas, and Buffy and the half dozen close women friends from college and high school that are still in my orbit (albeit at a distance and connecting by phone and e-mail most often), I am very blessed to have these friends in my world.
As THE DATE told my sitter who was so thrilled to have been taken out on a date with him, he is not interested in a relationship of any serious nature at this time, but just friendships. He is a gentleman and seems that even when I offer he is traditional and still insists on taking me out. He is gracious and appreciative of the friendship.
The girls have dubbed him "Cookie Man" as he also is the family baker in his household and sweetly brought us some Christmas cookies. He is a pleasure to hang out with as he is patient and doesn't seem as daunted by my girls as some of my other friends.
So I get by with a little help from my friends as always! I am very happy to have a group of friends who genuinely like each other and enjoy time together.
WOW another neighbor just took his snow blower to the house next door and is now working on mine. Have no idea WHO It is, but I think that might be the weird old Vet down the street who was so anxious about being snowed in that he had his snow blower clearing the road outside his home before the plows came. THink that MUST BE HIM!
Hey I might get cleared out and THE DATE will be off the hook of helping! WHEW.. his soon to be Ex wife will be happy! Maybe in fact they are working out issues while being snowed in? Gosh that would be so nice! We all miss her being in our world as she really is so much fun and a great person.
WOW! A VET may have come to my rescue out of that wonderful desire to help out! Either that or its the plumber across the street. Time to get dressed and go out and see if he has another shovel for me to get to work too!
I better put a movie on for the girls. I bought Little Women and The Little Princess and we haven't needed them yet as they have been so happy playing.
I would rather NOT have them help clear snow and get the job done BEFORE they all head out to play today!