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2010-03-17 - 10:21 p.m.

I have to finish my taxes. They are ALMOST done.

I am stressing just a little as there is that part where you declare the taxes paid to your State. I actually paid the VA unemployment tax for all four quarters of 2009; however there was this weird computer accounting glitch and I have had difficulty getting it fixed.

Its a long and drawn out and not very exciting story. Short version is that I have the receipts and evidence from my bank that indeed I did pay the first two quarters of that tax for 2009. I made an error of actually giving up the fight over the acknowledgement of that however and then tried to pay those quarters tax a 2nd time! Really ! I decided to give up the fight and pay the darn taxes TWICE just to be done with it-as I woke up from sleep in a startle one day realizing that if for some terrible reason I did get laid off and then had to let go of my nanny that SHE wouldn't be able to get unemployment in the interim of job searching AS LONG AS THE PROBLEM PERSISTED.

And as it was a pain to fix, and hadn't been fixed yet I impulsively GAVE Up and sent the payment a 2nd time for the 1rst and 2nd Quarters of 2009! Lo and behold, there was AGAIN a problem with THAT SENT PAYMENT. I got a notice that it bounced! Then when looking into it AGAIN just LAST week I got some letter that the account used wasn't set up as a transactional account?? WHAT?

In any case, I wrote a letter with my receipts of payment and got a call back referring me back to the SAME GUY I was trying to have this straightened out with months ago. The SAME GUY I talked to LAST week and said "YEs I KNOW those payments made in JAN 2010 are showing bounced, but it is IRRELEVANT as these were paid in AUG of 2009!"

OK So I am telling the whole long darn drawn out story anyway!

There was some great new tax code changes in VA that one is able to pay household employment taxes at the END of the year instead of Quarterly as in the past. That great tax code simplification is the source of the trouble, as of course it didn't occur to anyone that it would also be a good idea to update their billing databases- such that anyone who sends in the form electing to be an end of year filer doesn't get an electronic bill automatically generated quarterly along with a $75 late fee. (Which I might add is a bit excessive for a $40 tax)

So it kinda stressed me after all this back and forth to
1. Try to fix the billing generated quarterly
2. Then giving up and paying the darn tax and
3. fighting to get credit for the payment of that tax and
4. GIVING Up the fight and trying to pay that darn tax a 2nd time to then
5. Have that payment NOT ACCEPTED HOWEVER
6. IT did re-set the computer billing system SOMEHOW so now the payment made in AUG is not even showing up AT ALL!
such that
7. A JUDGEMENT was filed in Loudoun County for NON PAYMENT of the tax which not only did I PAY but I tried to pay TWICE!

which after phone calls and letters I was sent BACK to the SAME DUDE CONWAY who works out of a VA office that I have talked to a number of times, who said he would be glad to consult with the audit office to have it straightened out.

Anyway, I REALLY came here NOT to vent about the weird tax glitch, but to post that I came across a most awesome blog:

That blog rocks!

I was baffled when the school counselor wrote me an e-mail one day concerned about the lunch I sent my kids. I had sent in almonds, cooked carrots, fruit and something else- oh yeah I think a tomato. I was just like WHAT?? Does anyone have ANY CLUE just how UNHEALTHY the school lunches are??
Does anyone have ANY CLUE how HEALTHY the lunches that I generally send in that I am getting a concerned e-mail about are??

I guess I feel a little vindicated by this blog I found.

I think it came at a good time as I did kinda just give up and go shopping and decided to start packing CRAP in the school lunches and stop my routine of making REALLY GOOD HEALTHY BREAKFAST like egg sandwiches and home made pancakes during the week and decided that since the school thinks it SO IMPORTANT that we be on time that I can meet that standard and start feeding my kids CRAP like the rest of the U.S.A. in the interest of maximizing kids educational time in the classroom.

YES lets live by the values of the mainstream.

I will re-prioritize and teach my girls that they HAVE TO EAT fast in a record 13 minutes

I will feed them CRAP
I will RUSH and STRSS them to get them to school on time

as if I DON't and I INSIST on LIVING BY MY VALUES that they are to get a good nights sleep, eat well and not be rushed, and not leave for school UNTIL THEY DO THE THINGS I ASK and IF THEY DON't THEY CAN GO TO TIME OUT THEN AND THERE- I DON"T CARE IF THEY ARE LATE-

Well, if I live by and run my household by THOSE VALUES and then just so happen to be a few moments late ( as in hearing the bell ring twice a month when the kids are running in) THEN I WILL BE SLAMMED with a 2nd charge of "non compliance with school attendance laws" which would THEN be punishable by 12 months in JAIL.

YEAH.. that makes a hell of a lot of sense.

But it is what it is.

So I am not going to be bitter about it.

I am just going to feed the kids crappy instant food and be on time.

We were on time all last week.

Its really NOT HARD.


Either that or just give them a bowl full of Oatmeal EVERY MORNING. That might work too.

I could try that next week. Last week I used the crappy food method and it was fine. No pancakes or eggs and bacon in the AM. Frozen waffles and pumpkin pie. ( OOPS I DID have homemade pie-- forgot about that. Pumpkin pie is a kickin breakfast food! With whipped cream it IS really motivating for the girls to get to the table on time... Ice cream on the waffles was motivating another day.)

It the NOT BEING ABLE TO FOLLOW THROUGH when there is a behavior that I think should be tended to that irritates me.
I think it MORE important that there are consequences if the girls are misbehaving with me in the AM than it is important that they be on time at this juncture. We are still working on some fundamentals of treating Mother with Respect.

I don't like this imposing of a consequence LATER bit. I mean I DO like teaching forgiveness and mercy and I think there has to be an IMMEDIATE consequence IMPOSED BY ME and NOT a behaviour consequence hanging over a kid'd head that will be carried out later on by the nanny OR BY ME. In part cause I don't think a kid should be so worried about a small moment all day, and I don't think it HEALTHY to not move on and for either the nanny or I to be imposing a consequence LATER ... but also in part as I am prone to FORGET so don't like setting up that possibility either.
Lets just be efficient and respond IN THE MOMENT and ALLOW THE KIDS TO HAVE A NATURAL CONSEQUENCE OF BEING LATE FOR SCHOOL IF THEY MISBEHAVE or if they don't do something they have been asked to do.

I swear the school system here is so screwy that they UNDERMINE an ability of a parent TO PARENT by TAKING AWAY That NORMAL CONSEQUENCE OF A KID BEING LATE FOR SCHOOL.

The School NEVER APPROPRIATELY put pressure on the kids to listen to their mother and behave but rather they fed into this mirage that was presented and facilitate that there is something wrong with the kids' mother!

So sad!

In any case, I really admit I did get a little angry and passive aggressive at the school's crappy lack of support of me.

YES we were on Time EVERY Day last week.

But here is my confession...

I bought Pringles.

I admit it. I send crappy junk food in their overflowing lunch boxes all last week!

And I admit a strange pleasure as I looked at the CRAP thinking "Those silly folks that are scrutinizing me will likely look at these lunch boxes and think GEE NICE IMPROVEMENT"

I shouldn't find it so amusing. But the increase in chips and granola bars and other crappy, high sugar and high fat fast prepared foods that the world looks at the fancy packaging of and is IMPRESSED BY rather than my standard leftovers from a healthy casserole made the night before IS really ironic and I admit rather amusing.


OK, I broke my budget with over shopping for those groceries and then more grocery shopping when traveling. (Why is it that grocery stores are my bane? I just HAD to purchase the chocolate wafers to melt down and make home made chocolates when I saw those in Buffalo as they are SO HARD to find here! I have the candy molds and one day will use them with the girls!)

I am now going to dig back into my taxes which are almost done. So much for eating healthy. I just enjoyed some SPONGE CANDY That I couldn't resist when I saw it sold in bulk at TOPS. Its the chocolate that gets me. Had to enjoy some stress relieving chocolate and writing before the final work on taxes session!

Hey the visit to Buffalo had me laughing at the cultural things there that Buffalonians take for granted. My favorite of this trip was the radio blurb that went something like this:

"Listen to 92.5, Or we are going to send you to Father Baker's"

I had such a lovely weekend visit! The kids youth group was a blast. The time with the kids was fabulous. Enjoyed connecting with my Marine friend while there after he got back in town. (He was traveling like he often does on weekends) Fun seeing college theater folks and a play directed by an alumna. The last night there was spent doing normal Mom things with the kids for a while while they did chores and homework. I took a whole day to SLEEP and catch up on some much needed rest. That was SO NEEDED. I was just out cold. I didn't even attempt to make plans with my old roommate who lives so close to my friend whose place I was staying at as I REALLY NEEDED a day to just sleep and catch up on needed rest.

I have a hard time doing that at home. That is one of the best things about having such a gracious host who lets me crash at his pad when in town. Its one of the few places I can really go and truly JUST CRASH.

I slept so WELL and SO SOUNDLY.

When home I am worried about the million of little things that are not yet done that need tending to.

I think that is what I find most irritating about this total inflexibility on the part of the school that we NEVER BE LATE EVER.

1. Lower my standards when it come to sleep and food and
2. Raise my standards of housekeeping to near OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE

I mean if there truly ARE NO DISTRACTIONS then the girls will be on time.

Great- that means that I literally have to fold and put away EVERY BIT OF LAUNDRY EVERY DAY-- and we did that last week- I had the girls put it away every AM. It can be done. But the price I PAY to GET IT DONE is that I had to be an insomniac up all hours laundering and folding.

The level of housekeeping needed to run a tight ship is rather superhuman.

So I did achieve it; however to do so I was LATER IN for work as I was home cleaning the house each AM.

To do so I didn't catch the 8:30 AM flight on Sat out of town as I had work I didn't get done DURING the week when I was coming in later to clean house, and leaving early to take kids to counseling appts, so I had to finish up on Saturday after only four hours of sleep as that was all there was time for on Friday night after the kids talent show and packing and cleaning and matching socks.

I gave up on the housework at 11pm and slept from 11pm to 3am on Friday night, then awoke, finished packing and planning my trip itinerary and then went back to work to wrap up all the contract loose ends I hadn't time for during that week with the girls.

There was NO WAY I could do so in an hour so after that first hour passed I just worked diligently until I WAS HAPPY with where things were left. That is my philosophy about everything- work until I AM SATISFIED that it is a job well done: Whether it is HOME or my JOB or ANYTHING

So this pressure of telling me not to be late doesn't really help that natural tendency to be a perfectionist and refuse to be DONE with something until it is AS GOOD AS I CAN POSSIBLY MAKE IT.

I mean, the pressure of it just makes that perfectionism kick in MORE and makes me MORE INCLINED to be obsessive and particular and hyper-vigilant and NOT WANT TO LEAVE ANYTHING UNDONE and then the possibility of being late becomes GREATER.

OH well.

I was so PROUD of having overcome that workaholic, perfectionist seeking behavior which is REALLY just a result of INSECURITY and fear of not being good enough! I kicked THAT tendency YEARS AGO!

Ce la vie...

It resurfaced with the stress of the recent nonsense;

I suppose along with the trait of procrastinating in avoidance... did I mention I have to finish my taxes ???

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