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2010-06-20 - 2:35 p.m.

Busy Packing. I went on line to prepay a ticket that I got the other day as while I slowed down to a QUICK stop at a stopsign, I DID NOT count for the full three seconds and got a ticket.

I laughed as I noted the cop there,parket at the corner and thought "Cop- good, no traffic- clear, I can go"
and then did that slow down and roll through thing.

I did it cause my foot hurt from the sprain to depress the pedal for any length of time, so was just conciously not doing so when there was no traffic.
It was the part of the registering in Brain of "Cop" but not thinking further that he was there as a reminder to slow down and not speed AND a reminder to stop fully at a stop sign.

So I came on line hoping to pay the fine, however it is not there yet.

One think is VERY CLEAR however: The ADHD treatment DOES help my driving!

So having had to STOP because of the side effects IS a bummer.

My ADHD list of things done the past two weeks when NOT medicated is as follows:

Came home to find the iron of from the AM still on (Twice)

Burned my favorite purcolator having forgotten that I put the coffee on; filling the house with a toxic smell of molten metal. It was actually MELTING either the copper, or possibly some soder compound that had been used to restore the seal on that awesome purcolator that I found in an antique shop in Maine a few years ago.

Got the traffic ticket

Had a FEW close calls when driving. YES those moments when I think my life just flashed before my eyes. But I AM STILL HERE! WHEW...

I really did space and almost rear end someone, and pulled out not noticing the BIG TRUCK once.

I also stopped FULLY At a stop sign and checked for cars and went but only THEN when honked at did it occur to me the vehical on the OTHER SIDE of the street going the opposing direction was a SCHOOL BUS that ALSO had a stop sign displayed! UGH!! That was a dumb one.

Went to the closing of the house I am bought with the cashier's check issued to the WRONG PARTY- I had it made out to the SELLER rather than Seller's AGENT for settlement! Another "DUH" Moment!

So things I did to help out a bit:

Ordered some herbal supplements forulated for ADHD and PTSD symptoms.
* Bought an automatic shut off iron and bought my coffee at work which I haven't been doing during the time I was taking the medicine for ADHD.
* Read about "Brain FOG" of Post tramatic stress. It was VERY interesting as VERY FAMILIAR.

I mean people would think me nuts to describe the foggy confusion and weird moments when I forget things that I used to know.
The memory and learning curve are SO Impaired.

But despite this all I AM DOING ALL RIGHT.

I did use some sick time last week,as between shuttling between doctor appointments for my sprained ankle, the cut on lip and OTHER medical issues that I needn't disclose to the whole office, I was seeking self care to be well!

I just NEED to be well and to rock at work and do not just a good job, but the GREAT job I KNOW I HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO DO.

I just need to get through this phase and stabalize my life and my health and find something that works for the ADHD which doesn't have the side effect of exasperating my PTSD symptoms (which are bad enough WHEN NOT exasperated by the medication and triggers. I tell you going to that domestic court when I had to about a month ago, and then again this week, was the worst trigger I have had. It was just so weird that walking through those two doors brought back the strange memories of having been there before!)

I at least have another appointment with my Dr. to report the DIFFERENCE from having stopped the stimulant. I DO see the HUGE DIFFERENCE Thankfully not a freaky fearful paranoid nut, but its so weird how the ADHD full blown is SO obvious to me after I stop its treatment. One thing that is starting is how BRIGHT the light seems to me when driving. So stimulating! And its apparent when reviewing my packing job (or lack of much getting done) just HOW MUCH HARDER it is to be organized and follow through without treatment. I get so easily overwealmed and confused sometimes. CE la vie... I still have some skills. Like to know that with a sore foot and impaired mobility and limited energy and time there is the benefit of FREECYCLE!! Whoo hooo! Yesterday I did get bunk beds from the Habitat Restore set up in my new home! The girls will be thrilled! And today I did managed to weed out clothing further and have more stuff to get rid off. I also just listed all the extraneous things that I can not use on FREECYCLE so there is less to move! Searching for a moving company. Have a few leads. I realize I need to outsource that job! Back to freecycle! When I moved last I GOT RID of my boxes that way. Hope someone has MOVING BOXES listed as I need more.

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