2011-01-19 - 8:33 p.m.
I don't understand how anyone can be so nasty and obnoxious.
On one occassion all year I failed to give my daughter her morning medication so drove up to school and gave it to her there.
It happened only one time.
But her DAD in his controlling, paranoid, and attacking mode of me continues to portray me as an irresponsible adult.
So as I am picking them up tonight he chooses THAT MOMENT to go on about that topic and make it sound like since I can't remember the nurse can give it to her.
WHat the hell is he doing? TRYING TO CREATE THE MIRAGE OF ME NOT BEING RESPONSBILE ONCE AGAIN???
Doing so IN FRONT OF HIS CHILDREN ONCE AGAIN??
And he DOES NOT SEE THE PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE OF THIS BEHAVIOUR!!
I mean I was SO ANGRY when I got some e-mail about her NOT taking her medicine something like the first or second week of school on a morning when I KNEW I GAVE IT TO HER.
I was FURIOUS THEN as I knew then exactly what he was doing. It was the same as those notes written about homework not being done when not one but TWO DIFFERENT CHILD CARE PROVIDERS CONFIRMED that they SAW the homework in question completed by the then kindergarten student. How it just "happened" to disappear isn't rocket science, as the evil dude was in fact volunteering in the classroom.
I just can't believe that he STILL is manipulating and HE hasn't let go of his stronghold.
As far as the medicine-
Its a routine. Its not that hard. The kids comes down and I give her breakfast, OJ or water and her medication.
I mean the fact that I REFUSE to let my kids SKIP BREAKFAST EVEN IF THEY OVERSLEEP is a value conflict that I DO HAVE with the school as I VALUE PROPER SLEEP AND NUTRITION OVER BEING ON TIME.
well , that should make it OBVIOUS my kid IS GETTING HER MEDICATION WHEN WITH ME.
HE IS JUST SUCH AN ASSHOLE
I am just so SICK Of his TWISTED AND ABSOLUTELY SICK MIND THAT CONTINUES TO ATTACK ME WITH THIS MIRAGE AND LIES and does so IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
Its so disgusting.
It is so sad to have the girls come home to me and have them ALL ON BOARD with the attack of Mommy that he puts them through.
So its sad now that this week was a disappointing one. Three of the girls were going off repeating his mantra, and then one hit me in the forearm. I just looked at her and asked what that was for, and she said "This will all be over soon, Daddy says it will all be over soon."
And then I inquired "What will be over soon?"
Apparently he has let them know that soon enough they won't HAVE TO COME TO MY HOME , as if it is some burden.
Sad for them most of all to still be brainwashed and to have a their Father actively thwarting a relationship with their mother.
I just don't get it.
I am SURE the school is NOT REALLY that upset that they have been 5 minutes late on Thursday mornings.
and when I commented, "Actually girls , your lateness to school could end ANY DAY YOU CHOOSE FOR IT TO END. You can decide to be cooperative, or if it is really important to your Dad for you to be on time for school and he values your relationship with me HE CAN PICK YOU UP EVERY MORNING"
I also said something of the effect asking "Why would it end? Unless your Dad doesn't WANT to support you having time with me and HE decides to take me to court, there will not be any issue."
The girls said "The school is going to take you to court again"
I said amazed, "REALLY???"
I mean I SEE The other parents who ALSO run late dropping their kids off to school. They are not being draggged into court and fined $500 per child for a violation of school attendance laws due to 5 minutes of lateness once a week.
Lets be clear: LAST YEAR WE WERE LATE TWICE OR THREE TIMES A MONTH
THIS YEAR WE ARE LATE FOUR TIMES A MONTH
Granted it is MORE this year than last, as in the wisdom of someone who thought it was unacceptable that we were late once a week (usually Mon as I had that ADJUSTMENT period of transition and re-establishing my undermined authority each week they came to me-- so Mon was hard, but then they were generally on time TUE through FRI-- so late on average TWICE A Month : the two Monday's with me-- BUT NOW I REALLY ONLY HAVE A TRANSITION DAY ONCE A WEEK- EVERY WED, but not a full transition until SAT afternoon, which is when they work through the resistant behavior and the transference behavior- often right AFTER leaving our family counseling session; well then we are back on track and they act like MOST NORMAL kids do from Sat late afternoon until SUN NIGHT- -but come back to me again angry at me and brainwashed and spewing HATRED at their Mother mimicking their Father on Wed.
The good news is that its like a SWITCH flips often when we walk in the door and they DO relax when we get home WED NIght...
To an extent.
She did hit me tonight in the car, but I just talked calmly and pointed out that was not only uncalled for but rude, disrespectful and hurtful and it was more heartbreaking than anything.
But the thing is I now PRETEND to be happy and enjoying the evening and try to be lighthearted and it is an awfully hard thing to do when one feels like crying.
Its just a bit too much to have them come back angry and nasty and terrible after so long.
Thank GOD that they snap out of it. I usually ignore it, but I am human and after a not so great day at work it is hard to not be upset by this now.
So I need to write and vent and get this out of my system before going back upstairs to the girls who have had a snack, gotten on PJs and are now brushing teeth.
Tonight the one girl HIT My left arm when I was talking with them in the car over the topic which of course SHOULD NOT have been brought up by DAD at the moment of transition.
But sadly he doesn't choose to communicate any other way or any other time, but only to ATTACK My parenting at the moment of transition.
I was simply asking the one child " HAve you ever gone to school WITHOUT your medicine as you Dad claims?"
I was merely ASKING HER PERSPECTIVE. When two sisters answered I asked them to please not interrupt and allow me to talk with HER and reminded them this did not concern them and they would have no way of KNOWING as it is NOT THEIR EXPERIENCE.
That was the point at which Katie hit my left arm and Sadie said " Don't pressure me! I have a spelling bee tommorrow and I already have alot of pressure!"
OH YEAH... that is in fact what I came on line to do. I intended on going to the school web site to print the list of words so she can review them before bed and at breakfast.
I hope that my girls learn to not take on his issues regarding things that ARE NOT THEIR EXPERIENCE, and to SOMEDAY actually judge their Mother BY THEIR EXPERIENCE.
So now I am going to give them more of those experiences that I hope SOME DAY THEY VALUE and hope they someday have more power than that which is TOLD TO THEM.
What most upsets me is that they COULD all have gotten PJS on without DRAMA, without ANGER, without anything but delight and joy and THEY COULD HAVE BEEN READ TO FOR THE WHOLE PAST HOUR.
I just don't understand why ANYONE , even a CHILD would not WANT to ENJOY THAT OPPORTUNITY with their mother reading to them.
At least I have TWO children who CHERISHED BEING READ TO BY THEIR MOTHER.
I may not be ALLOWED to offer these children that, but life will go on.
I did get some GOOD NEWS that I have to celebrate. My oldest whom DID GET READ TO EVERY NIGHT by not only me, but her marvelous nanny and her DAD and Grandmom as well received the letter of the scholarship amount she was awarded.
Small private liberal arts college with 2100 students which has made the list of
She has been offered admission and awarded a TRUSTEE SCHOLARSHIP of SEVENTEEN THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS A YEAR FOR FOUR YEARS.
Now Katerina received an 800 on the Critical Reasoning SAT , 710 on Math and 730 on Writing. So I was not surprised when her assistant principal heard the news last Friday as I was talkign with her to hear her response
Meaning choice of school... the assistant principal believe Katerina will get into a BETTER school with a BETTER Scholarship.
That response really was informative to me as to just how highly my oldest is thought of in her school where she is an IB Scholar , has been a Cheerleader ( albeit the WORST EVER according to her Dad who was hilarious doing an imitation of her... I mean one thing she is NOT is a "peppy perky" kinda girl); is cast in a lead in her school musical and is an overall amazing young woman. Not only is she smart and beautiful and well liked at her school she also boasts of the most incredible friends and I have to say the cutest boyfriend-- I mean this teen just has it all together.
She is an AMAZING kid.
I will write more of the most incredible moment of the weekend for me after reading Ramona. Its finally quiet upstairs so I can go read to the little ones and hopefully bring them peace in part of their day at least.