2011-08-06 - 9:22 p.m.
The house is quiet. The girls were with me last week and on Friday went to their Father's. It was a bit of a busy, crazy week.
Think of the scene in Erin Brokovich when she comes home and the idiot child care provider had dropped her kids off at home when she wasn't there. Believe it or not the day care lady I had been using this summer literally evicted my children from her day care center mid-day before I came home! What an idiot!
Yes my girls are challenging at times. Yes that morning one was inappropriate there (and I removed her and had her go to her Dad's instead of remain there physically assaulting her sister.) Yes that in the morning the one who was being a spit fire influenced the attitude of the others and three out of four were talking ugly saying things like they couldn't understand the lady as she speaks Spanish. Then MEANT that she has an accent as she speaks English, but with a heavy accent. So YES she was righfully upset and I totally understood when she called to say she couldn't watch them anymore. I told her I would come pick them up early.
But anyone with COMMON SENSE would have WAITED until they were picked up and not KICKED THEM OUT which is what she did.
The oldest was off with our neighbor.
The one who does have a temper and anger issues was with Dad;
so it was two little girls left in her care.
She kicked out two little girls younger than 8 and sent them home when she know no one was home.
Fortunately I had sent an e-mail to the girls Dad to see if he might be able to watch them until I could leave work and called him to follow up and see if he got it. HE told me he got a call from the oldest who was with the neighbor and the all three of the girls were with my neighbor as she saw them walking home !
She brought them to her house!
I can just call her my GEORGE (although she is not a biker as Erin Brokovich's neighbor was!)
I was VERY lucky that George was open to taking on a new part time job of sitting the remainder of the week.
She also flagged down one of our local police who was patrolling the area who followed up and paid the day care a visit. He apparently was just amazed someone would be that idiotic.
Just another day in the life....
Never drama free!
This morning was spent volunteering at a farmer market, and it was rather funny to me that one of my office mates just happened to be voluneteering right next to me assisting people registering to vote. I laughed as I have work to do and felt like I should not have signed up to volunteer this morn, but though "It will be healthy to keep balanced and go do this and have a change of pace and then get back to my work"; but of course I have to see a co-worker so it was IMPOSSIBLE to FORGET about work for a little while! Ce la vie...
She is a really nice lady and it was nice to see her there.
I then came home to my good friend who was so kind to help me paint my house! I had the delusional notion that I was going to paint the trim on my house myself. I went to the hardware store a few weeks ago and got supplies. George helped me get a borrowed ladder from an old neighbor I am friendly with. We got it here and then were kinda laughing when I realized the thing was too big and top heavy that there was no way she and I could even lift the ladder. It was ironic to be stuck at the step of setting up the ladder.
So there the ladder sat for the next two weeks laid across my front lawn.
I had also realized if I got the darn thing set up that the girls would be coming and I couldn't LEAVE it set up. ( Not if I didn't want one of my monkeys climbing....)
So the reality hit I wasn't going to be painting my house without some help of the male kind.
Now here is the interesting part.
I get an offer from the attorney to help me.
He happens to be out of town this weekend.
I called one person and asked them to call for an estimate.
But then my good friend the hiker ( boy I need a good psudoname for him- McGeyver comes to mind,although that is not really quite right. Gilligan also comes to mind, but that too is not quite right as he is kinda a cross between the two- Not gangly and boyish and silly like Gilligan, but not as Macho as MacGyver yet industrious and smart and clever and as he says always has some grand sceme that ALMOST works... but not quite.Hmmm McGilligan?
Its not EXACTLY Right... but I think the best I can come up with right now.
As he pointed out "You only have one ladder" so it was a bit more practical for only one person to be painting. And I DID get the e-mail confirming they needed me at my volunteer gig this AM. So I felt badly leaving McGill painting my house while I went off to the farmer's market,but I left anyway. I did the volunteer gig and bought the best food I have had in weeks. Marvelous sweet corn that was amazing raw, delicious peaches and nectarines, blackberries for breakfast, a scone, and delightfully delicious red pepper hummus was my take home along with a pepper and a few onions.
I hoped McGill would like hummus or some of the fruit as I wanted to bring him something to thank him. They had lovely flowers that I thought of but I just couldn't do that. It was bad enough that today there was that look... I mean THAT look when he looked at me.
He hasn't really looked at me like that before..
Its one of those things..
I mean I have been aware as he articulated it that there is interest in a relationship although he is happy to be my friend. But he is is ready should there be opportunity for me.
Today however there was something , I don't know, different in how he looked at me. Or maybe it was how I looked back? I am not sure... Now we have joked before, more than enough times ...but today it didn't seem like a joke at all when after he had clocked himself in the forehead I was asking McGill to please let me get the ice pack and put it on his forehead. He said "No I'm fine" I said " You do know married men are healthier than single men, and they now know why- its because their wives nag at them to go to the Dr, or put ice on their heads when they clock themselves on the head. Let me guess, is your Dad the kind of man who wouldn't go to the Dr. unless your mother nags him?" McGill's response was "Are you proposing to me?" To which I replied, "Are you going to take care of me for the rest of my life? Its not a bad deal... you do a nice job of things like painting the house. And you'll let me take care of you by nagging and getting you to put ice on ?" To which he said something like"you don't even know..." which implied YES he would. I felt like I did just receive a proposal in a way as he let me know if I was interested in something more than a friendship he would be willing to persue it. Later on he also made a point of mentioning that one of the girls already informed him that she wants him to be her Dad. At the time he said "You have a Dad" and I affirmed she has a good Dad. She said she could have another Dad. What he doesn't know is that another one of my girls said to me "McGill would be a good man for you to marry" Very intersting. Intersting as my dating motto has been that I DO NOT want anyone I date to have anything to do with my girls at this juncture. REALLY! I have asserted I enjoy dating a man for company and a relationship to grow gradually but that I really have NO INTEREST in anyone I am dating to meet my girls. At least not for a long time as I am not NEAR READY to consider anything long term with a man and my #1 priority is the girls. Stability of relationships with them and the financial stability of my home and my continued focus on professional development to be successful in the maintenance of my home and be free of the financial instability is what I need to focus on. So I date for my own personal growth and fulfillment but am not looking for either a dad for my girls or a husband for me. I am happy with a partner of a sort, but not to the extent of marriage at this juncture. Yet the involvement of my friend McGill makes me question those premises I had about dating, not only about what I want, but also about the wisdom of the methodology of my dating thus far. The attorney I am dating said his ex was reading a book about dating after divorce and on the topic of when you are ready to date it said one is ready to date after a divorce when they are comfortable telling their Ex and their kids about their new significant other they are dating. Hmmm...interesting. He is not ready. That is essentially what he was figuring out- Not ready by that standard anyway. So its odd to be seeing a man my kids don't know and then to have this really close frind I love have accompany the kids and I to do things regularly. McGill came with us to the Smithsonian last weekend. He drove me to Buffalo out of concern and understanding how my narcolepsy makes that such a challenge for me. Pocohontas asked him to accompany us to see Katerina's show when we drove there in March and then he drove me AGAIN in June for her Graduation. He is such a gentleman he gets his own hotel and finds stuff to do on his own so as to not impose on my time with the kids and my family when they were in town for the graduation. The daughter who came with me loved spending time with McGill on that trip as he is so good with the kids. He had a bag of activities and things for her to do in the car. It is so COMFORTABLE having him here at our home as he spent time here with Pocontas over the past year as they ofen go off and do things together. Now McGill is a smart man.
He KNOWS how to do it right.
He knows how to court a woman frankly. I feel like that is exactly what he has been doing. He doesn't ask for anything in return but is loving and giving while only a friend and happy to do so generously and graciously without measure and without wondering what is in it for him.
Of course he get SOME return, and of course he would LOVE the kind of relationship he is looking for to blossom- but he is a man of terrific character and patience who respects space and boundaries and is very secure individually.
He is a good man and I am lucky to have him in my life.
But I am wary of accepting too much from this friendship. I don't want to hurt him or let him down.
And he worries about me because he cares about me.
And its so very sweet.
And he has been the friend there in my life comfortably who has never crossed that boundary. It is wonderful to know there is someone there who cares for me to look out for me and help when I need it and wants to know I am safe and OK. Its good to know there is someone that worrys that I will have paid all my bills but the week there are no girls here I am eating ramen noodles. He won't let me do that. ( Nor will Pocohontas as she is also such a loving friend!)
And they both know my stubborn pride enough to see that I don't ASK for help and try to do everything myself even when I can't.
I like that I am not too embarassed and am comfortable to open up to both these friends when I do dumb things. And its nice to have that support.
I am tired now but have to go get this work done...but perhaps just a bit more of a nap!
Then will wake and get it done.
Getting it done...little by little...one day at a time.