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2011-08-15 - 8:34 p.m.

Today was a lovely quiet day at work which made me feel much better as I was getting a weird feeling about work this week.

I was supposed to drive back to my office and work there however I was told this one night at 8pm when in another city three hours away. I had just worked a 12 hours shift and the night before had worked 4 or 5 hours on a project that was due AFTER having worked a 12 hour shift.

So after having logging I believe 14 hours one day, then 15 the next, and having minimal sleep I was just in no condition to drive when I work up that next morning.

I KNEW I couldn't do it.

Unlike most people I can't drive more than a half hour when tired without dropping off to sleep. So I pull over and nap and then take off when rested.

I once drove back from Buffalo on a Sunday and arrived on Tue morning.

I just couldn't go far without needing to sleep.

So this past Wed AM, I took my medication for narcolepsy and was still just yawning and groggy.
So I logged in and worked remotely which made sense as there was a project that was due that day anyway and I couldn't work on it when driving.

So I told my boss I would finish that project and THEN drive.

The thing is, I logged on at 9am, checked and organized e-mail for an hour trying to see if I would wake up enough to drive, and then decided it was a losing battle so I communicated with my boss at 10am. I then worked on the project and it was 3pm when I finished.

Six hours worked that day.

I then was SO EXHAUSTED I honestly couldn't stay awake.

And I took a nap.
I justified it thinking if rested I would drive.

But I was STILL ridiculously tired.

I then killed some time trying to wake up- to no avail, and at 9pm gave up submitting to the fact I had NO ENERGY, went and got dinner and then came back to my hotel and went to sleep.

The next morning I checked my e-mail and left a message with my boss I was driving back to the office and expected to be there at aound noon.

Well, I didn't make it by noon.

I made it to the office the NEXT morning at 6am.

Friday was a comedy of errors.

The Narcolepsy was kicking in hard.
I had to stop and sleep ridiculously frequently. I left at 9am and it was close to 1pm when I hit Maryland. That was all due to driving 30 minutes then napping, driving, then napping etc....

What should have been a two hour drive took me FOUR hours soley because I just couldn't stay awake! It was ridiculous. I DID take my medication, but am thinking I SHOULD have recalled BEFORE the trip that my Dr told me I could take an extra dose if needed when driving. Sheesh... I forgot that.

IT was around 1pm when I realized that there was NO WAY I could make it back to the office without running out of gas. I decided to stop at the nearest city that I knew someone in-or so I thought! Old friend "the Date" who I just happened to have had an IM conversation with the night before who said "We have to get together soon" USED to work in the town I pulled over in. I FORGOT he got a NEW job in Washington D.C. so he couldn't save me.

Then I had a dileamma. I was on empty without means to fill my tank. Bank account overdrawn as I had to pay for my expenses to travel and will get reimbursed ( but I did keep forgetting to follow up with the kink in the corporate Amex process.)

My dilemma was -- who to grovel to and have save me, the damsel in distress?

It is SO EASY to ask my FRIEND McGill to help as he is so very willing. But then again, I think that very act of saving the girl makes the protector/provider guy FALL for the girl.
That is a recipie for disaster and one which I want to avoid. Not to mention he is my friend, and despite small moments of what seems like a look, or a fleeting moment of attraction, there is no reason for me to consider otherwise- simply because I haven't fallen for him and if I were to have done so I am SURE I would have by now! ( We have been friends for over a year now) But he is SUCH A GREAT GUY that I want SOMEONE AWESOME to fall for him! McGill is ridiculously sweet and would do anything for me. We are very close and in fact he inspired me to write a poem for him ( a distinction shared by only my closest friends, including Pocohontas and My Marine).

McGill sweetly even wrote me a poem back which was lovely. He is a writer as well (although claims otherwise).

Mine was bad poetry; his was worse. So we share that terrible poetry and since not in love I was not filled with oh and ah and blushes...

Yes that is one way to know this is a friendship. I can laugh at us and not take anything too seriously. When in love things are so much more important I think- there is urgency in the desire to communicate, and even bad poetic rambles are wonderous.

I don't think the lack of an awed response is because I am disassociate flatlined. I do get that giddy feeling and blush and goofiness when I think or hear a message from the man I am dating who is still nameless here in this journal.

I really need to name him.

Maybe the reluctance to name him is fear of being too serious too quickly! Hmm... if I give him a NAME here then he is a somewhat permanent character in the cast of characters in my life.
That might be scary...

I am jesting of course... to a degree.

So I got over the fear of being vulnerable in front of the man I am dating and took a deep breath and sent him an e-mail asking if he would care to join me for dinner in the town I stopped in.

We DID Have a date that night, so he was gracious in saying he would be glad to meet me elsewhere.

* I did tell him of my foibles.

We ended up having an absolutely fabulous time that night, that is AFTER we found my car which took some doing as I had walked into the center of town and wasn't quite sure where it was parked.
After dinner we then came back to discover that my battery died as there was a door not shut. So not only had my date helped with filling my tank, then he had to give me a jump.

Which he did quite well, that is after the sparks that initially flew ...

The red hot cable which was positive was initially hooked up to my negative which just doesn't work.

Lucky it wasn't so hot that we burnt out the cars...

The engines were fine once they cooled back down and then we gave them a jump once again.

That pretty much sums up my Friday night date, other than it was 3AM when FINALLY arriving home to bed in Northern VA!

And Yes, I did have to work bright and early Sat morn.

Mandatory overtime for the time being.

Thank goodness, as otherwise I might not have been able to get away with just not showing up at the office AT ALL on Friday! I did remote in for a few hours from a library to get some things done and not have a COMPLETELY wasted day.

Off to be now as for the time being I am working mandatory 12 hour days six days a week in an "Emergency Work Assignment"

I can't say I mind as far as the finances are concerned, although it does stink to not see the girls and not have Soren here this month as he normally would be.

I am also bummed as I was sent to Philly to work last week and Soren is heading there in a few more weeks to go to his aunt's wedding! I had hoped to still be there and be able to see him then! But I was sent back to my normal job in VA which made me a nervous wreck as I didn't know WHY I was being sent back when OTHERS are still be sent OUT to work temporary jobs elsewhere. I then think I figured it out, and it had nothing to do with me in particular- but the work load at that site. (Two others were initially sent there and they were sent elsewhere the very first day.)The fact that this is the end of quarter and our midyear reviews were due mid-month did make me nervous however as my company does continue to downsize. I was terrified I was being sent back to be let go!
WHEW!!! Don't think that is the case (I hope! I always feel better when Friday comes!)

Katerina goes to college next weekend! She is very excited about her housing placement as she has a dorm in an old historic house on campus which is supposed to be beautiful! I am so thrilled for her! She got a beautiful almost full scholarship to a fine school that she will thrive at! Its small, with only 600 students, so she won't get lost in the crowd and won't be able to hide and NOT ask questions should she need any help or get overwealmed. Its the kind of school where there is enough attention to each individual and also freedom to creatively pursue interests and shape the course of study that I think a bright kid with ADHD type traits would thrive rather than sink there. A kid with any sort of attention issues or organization problems, no matter how bright, could just get lost and overwealmed at a large university or college. So I think Katerina was offered this scholarship at THE PERFECT school for her!

It's also in an area with great vacation spots so I look forward to visiting!

IT 9:07 pm; past my 9pm bedtime. As up at 5AM I need my sleep so am calling it day.

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