2013-10-31 - 4:12 a.m.

A couple of years ago I paid $30 a month for services from a child psychologist name Kane I think it was Dr. ALAN KANE and I found his presentations and insight helpful. He is in Vt and set up a business marketing on line the subscription that included his lectures "How to get Anger Out of Your Home" and a monthly conference call in for support.

I just ordered The Total Transformation program as well as a guide to setting consequences as I need some ideas of what else to try to end dysfunction of my abusive children.

Tonight one of the darlings choose to ignore my instruction to do homework before fashioning Harry Potter glasses out of wire. She also ignored my comments last Wed that if she used the computer on Wed night for anything other than HW she would lose the privalege this Wed. As she was reminded of bedtime which is consistent and that computer use is shut off at 9pm anyway the last thing I anticipated was a violent outburst because of the "No" to use of computer (which I dismantled days ago so it wound not be an issue to argue over at all so I thought) and a abusive reaction to the expectation of going to bed.
It is just ridiculous that she was violently coming at me and that I should have my knees and shins kicked and have to deflect blows then hold an out of control child over bedtime routine expectations when the routine has been the same here for years.
WHEN i urged her to get in control befire she really hurts me or herself and remindd her saying "do you want someone to lose a tooth again?" I was shocked she then kicked me in the mouth aiming right for my teeth. She was lying on her bed then as I deflected and hooed she would stay in her room to calm as I had just removed her from mine and told her she cannot kick and hit me.
I left her and went out hoping to give her space. MY THEORY IS "DISENGAGE" TO STOP VIOLENCE

I am convinced that I am doing the right thing by refusal to enter into a power struggle. Rules are consistent and clear and posted expectations have a reward system for reinforcement yet the violent parental abuse continues. It is just baffling.

Her older sister recently got in trouble in school which is not surprising to me. I PREDICTED the first time in school the authority figure is a woman my children will ignore her and not respect her. Her dean is a woman this year.
I think they have systematically been trained not to respect me and sadly I think have been taught not to respect women in general.

Amazing how men who do not respect and abuse their wives don't see the messages they send their children.

After my out of control child kicked out the door of her bedroom just to break it in anger as it was not locked, I told her she will pay to replace it so we will have a conversation with her Dad as I know she has a bank account he helps her manage.
ONLY THEN when there was fear of her Dad's awareness of her behavior did she calm down.

She tried to fix the door with Elmer's glue and blue painter's tape.

The good news of the night is that despite all the drama Alexy was in bed asleep around 8:45 and never was disturbed so hopefully she will be chipper in the AM and be on time. She loves bike rides but has been dilly dallying with tantrums over the non negotiable topic of wearing the reflective safety vest when we ride to school in the mornings. It is not bright and sunny as we take off early and we are not on the bike trail (where she doesn't use one , mainly because ON WEEKENDS Katie uses it and I only have one vest now.) I have to get four more of those for everyone to have one BUT UNTIL THEN WE SHARE and Thu Alexy has to wear it.

Back to bed. I HAVE A HEADACHE and no wonder after being kicked

Can't wait for the Total Transformation program to arrive.

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