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2013-11-15 - 3:59 p.m.

I have enjoyed the first few videos in the Total Transformation program as well as the Consequences video. I laughed as they threw in a freebie called "The Calm Parent" which is certainly what I DON'T Need as sometimes I am just TOO CALM and perhaps a little reticent in responding to maladaptive behavior. I always think planned ignoring of attention seeking behavior will result in its extinction but it doesn't always work that way.

The past couple of Weds nights were remarkable quiet as Alexy was not home. She stayed at Dad's and I am allowing her to do that for the time being as I don't have a car and she continued to resist cooperating as we biked and walked to school on Thu mornings. It was so very weird as she LOVES to walk and bike any other time! I think it was moreso the addiction to an outburst and the behavior pattern of being oppositional that she was struggling to overcome than a real lack of enjoyment of biking to school. That and the negative messages she got from OTHERs about biking the 20 minutes with me as her Dad and the school acted like it was near criminal to make a child bike or walk.

She did it for the first two months of school but as she was LATE every time after dilly dallying, it made more sense to just let her stay with Dad if she wants to be on time in the morning.

Now the obvious is he could have offered to just pick her up! That would be the common sense thing for MOST parents to do, but he doesn't always exhibit common sense and his self interest directs his decisions.

so I took it as kind he offered she could stay there on Wed. I gave her the choice - Alexy either don't complain and have a fit when we bike or you can just stay at Dad's as he indicated you are welcome to do so.
She opted to stay there which I think is a very good sign actually. If he was not treating her nicely she would have quickly fell in line to behave and remain at my house but she was happy to stay there.
She was clingy this week when the others were dropped off, so she DOES miss coming- but now that it actually really WAS VERY COLD this past WED morning it is just as well she is getting a ride!

I just picked up one of our bikes that now has two new tires so her sister will be happy this weekend when she goes for her ride as it is MUCH nicer than the one she has been using.

The three oldest have been biking all over town. If they have somewhere to be , they take the bikes.

Its been a really wonderful lifestyle change and I honestly couldn't be happier to finally be freed of a car! I mean it was so weird that I wanted to go without a car YEARS AGO as we really do live a half hour walk from school and anywhere in town we need to go. I mean it is just not a bad walk to get anywhere. So it was weird at how much resistance OTHERS gave me in that decision.

This time I FINALLY have people in my life that don't insist on doing things like giving a reluctant loan and pushing me into buying a car then resenting it OR WORSE YET BUYING ME A CAR when I say NO and then proposing as if the fact the guy saw me as needing something that he insisted on providing somehow meant my assertion I am not interested in a serious romantic relationship OR commitment SOMEHOW CHANGED. It so strange to me how people HEAR what they want to hear!

Thank God the attorney I have been seeing for three years now actually is happy with me for ME and doesn't ever try to change me or take on my responsibilities to "save " me. Its soo nice for a change!

He is emotionally supportive in a very healthy way and respects my boundaries.

So I have been content.

I am pleased to have passed the Certified Commercial Contract Manager Exam a few weeks ago. That was a warm up for BAR review study which I immediately thereupon started.

Its going.... WELL.....

Its going...

49% on my pre- test Criminal LAW MPRE 150 questions to see how much ( which turned into HOW LITTLE) I remembered. That was AFTER listening to the lecture three times for that area of law. I have ALOT of study ahead of me.

I just ordered a few more recent bar review materials in the areas I need them in (like more Crim Law practice questions. I feel for the red herring in those questions often!)

Will study and see how it goes! I am not that disheartened as the first practice exam I took for the CCCM exam after studying resulted in about a 64% and I managed to master that material and pass that- so there is hope!

About ten weeks to study as the exam is in Mid Feb.

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