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2014-01-06 - 6:32 p.m.

Happy I went out for bike ride this evening as the xun was setting. Cold out so I decided to bike instead of run in part to see if it is reasonable to bike in this weather of lower 40s with co,der wind chill. This afternoon was sunny so not as bad as the rest of the week forecast to be so I wanted to get out before its crazy cold as I went for a jog twice in the last week so want to keep it up. Truth be told I love exercising when I get into a routine but fnd it so hard to be motivated in part I think as I am so comfortable in my body any weight (as long as I have clothes that fit) that I personally couldn't care less whether I am 115 lbs or 150 lbs. I just took a break to weigh myself as I wasn't sure what I am at now 153.8 I did take note and start to pay more attention to weight and actually bought a scale when I weighed myself at the attorney's and saw 157 on the scale was like " holy shit I used to be 40 to 50 lbs lighter. Now te 50 lbs lighter wwss not healthy for me due to adverse Adderall side effects and stress, but the quick weight gain of about 30 lbs in the lsst couple years was also medicine side effect from Lithium. I didn't worry about the initial weight gain thinking it would level off and stop, but even after I stopped lithium the weight gain continues so think it time to get back in an exercise routine.(I stopped my medication truly thinking a temporary stop due to no health care which I now have again thanks to Obamacare which really did work for me- and am doing Ok since I last took it in July. Of course I am not working so home and eat and sleep well without stressors so understand under full time working conditions may need it again and know to watch for the signs of unhealthy paranoid thinking that required me to take it in the first place,or extended manic energy. I HAVE had a few manic spells since off it, but as my bipolar is mania only and never depressive episodes its not bad getting tons done once in a while in that state (while home alone that is!) I TOTALLY know when I am manic as I just feel a different heightened sense of awareness and energy and the lsck of need to sleep which for a narcoleptic is really kinda funny in a way. OH YEAH out of Nuvigil too for months so normal naps haappen (except when manic). The thing is studying will be so much more productive when medicated so look forward to getting into my dr. Soon. Focus feels so challenging Got the BAR application and studying but my memory feels like a sieve and it seems that lithium actaully doeshelp mental acuity. Dr. kay Jamison wrote about the inabilit to process when reading at time. I process but focusing enough to stay on task long enough for repetiton and memorization is hard as I GET TIRED and fall asleep. But the good news is that I passed the CCCM exam so I figure if I can master the UCC then I can also mast te other 20 Areas of law VA tests on. So I am studying to best of my ability. EXERCISE does help focus.

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