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2014-01-21 - 4:27 p.m.

Studying today as it continues to snow outside. I had a good job interview for what I think would be a good fit for me as I could use my negotiation skills more than I did in my last job. I recall debate and moot court and being in court how I am calm in the moment but then stress afterwards. In an interview I really believe in honesty. Hope however I didn't share TOO MUCH One disadvantage of my research in a company is that while I know I should interview them too, the only real question I have is "Are YOU happy working here?"

I liked the response, and I liked the people I would be working with and love what the company provides so think I would both be good at the job and fit in there. Will see. I KNOW I IGNORE the professional tips of don't be the first Mon morn interview etc.... but am glad as with snowy weather I have that out of the way and can stay home. I took a xanax yeah the one I never would take during all the craziness of custody and court but today recalled the past performance anxiety I get AFTER anything performance based important to me, and thought it a good idea so I could study rather than obsess. I HAVE that med and took it only once ot twice before and am glad I thought of it now as the post interview anxiety is intense. I just took an asprin as also having chest pains.

THE interviewer wanted to know what my goals are. I said t maintain my house. REALLY that is very simple as I want to maintain my home withthe girls here , when they are here. Its funny to think how basic my simple aspiration in life really is for now. I KINDA FEEL like still at the bottom of the triangle, heirarchy of needs, holding on and really do have the goal of getting through the debt of divorce and crazy litigation in a couple more years of working. THEN I can think of other personal goals. Now I just want to continue to provide, care for, and enjoy my kids growing up. Having a good job I enjoy makes that easier.

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