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2014-04-07 - 12:55 p.m.

The Cherry Blossom run was fun! I ran the 5K and two of my girls ran the Family Fun Run.

I was happy to have the help of the attorney in driving us and keeping an eye on girls while I ran the race.

I really need to find a better nickname for him other than "the attorney". I mean I think it terrible when one defines themself soley by the job they do, so ironic I have named him by that. The thing is, I also think , although it is perhaps too critical of me, that he unfortunately defines himself by that work and have thought many times that I wished he would just break out and discover something else he is passionate about and do it! But that is me being judgmental I know. The thing is, I hate to see those who are older in the workplace not recognize that in a professional career being at the top of the game by the world's standards has a shelf life so to speak. After a while, if one gets laid off from a professional white collar job they may have to just realize it is now time to do something else. In his case I think he met his goals that the career was set out to achieve- nice house outside of Washington to raise his family in. Although he is not there, the family is and he has sent them to private schools (one to graduate next year), and maintained lifestyle for them even after he is not in that picture.

It seems time to re-invent himself but I see him holding onto that old life and old vision thinking he can re-create it. I don't think that either realistic or really what would be desirable. But people have to come to their own vision of their life and create it themselves of course.

Not for me to point out his vision may be an old one that can't be actualized realistically again.

Maybe he can achieve that again? How am I to know otherwise?

Perhaps its because I question WHY he would WANT TO. I mean I just feel like there has to be so much more to life that WORKING crazy hours for a corporation!

Now, realistically, I just interviewed with yet another corporation.

Yes today-
And realistically if the company I interviewed with last week OR The one I talked to today came back with an offer of employment UNLESS I had a viable opportunity in the human services, human rights law sector- I will take a job offer working for "the man".

Realistically, if it comes my way I will be happy to enter than norm once again, where I am watching stock options (ONE would offer that), and working hard and measuring what percentage of raise I get every year.

But I know that while I would be so grateful to get a job and yes maintain the suburban life for my kids sake most of all, that for ME I just can't wait to have freedom to really enjoy working at what I want to do.

Have no trouble however committing to work a couple years somewhere else.

It might even be fun.

But I hate seeing the really sweet man I know ( gosh why is it is so HARD to come up with a nickname for him other than "the attorney"?), kinda in a rut of life not moving forward which I think is really due to his own lack of vision and lack of initiative.

Oh well, I am happy to have him in my life supporting my vision at times! It was really fun to take the girls to the Cherry Blossom run. They had never before been on a subway so got a kick out of the train ride into D.C. that we took.
There were small moments of the day that really stick out to me. One was the moment that a helpful employee was offering assistance as I looked very touristy in trying to figure out how the vending machine for the subway ticket worked. I was perplexed by the cost of each ticket , not getting that there was $1.00 charge for EACH RIDE on the train if one did not have the plastic Smartcard. I have an extra Smartcard that was sitting home I wished I had brought with me. I was taking my time trying to figure out the math of the transaction and had the help of the dude working there kinda impatiently telling me what it cost, and how to get the tickets, and the girls there also of course chiming in.

In that moment I was struck by the wonderful patience of the attorney who never takes over when I am doing something (even if I am NOT getting it), and who just joked with the nice worker trying to help who I wouldn't accept the help of essentially- as basically he could tell me what to do, but I wouldn't do it until I UNDERSTOOD why I was paying the cost of the fare. The math was wrong , so I was resolute in ignoring all the input around me until I UNDERSTOOD why the math was wrong. Once I got it- that there is a dollar surcharge EACH WAY, only then was I ready to pay for the tickets.

So the patience stuck me, and my stubbornness struck me, and my slow mental processing in the moment of input from all these folks around so I couldn't think also struck me- essentially the ADD moment of not being able to take in so much stimuli at the same time and calculate math at the same time. I mean it took me a good five minutes there to make the transaction as I needed them to all get their input out and then give me quiet to actually read the machine which gave instruction and be able to do the math in my head and then also have one person talk at a time. So I finally read and then asked the question of the guy noting "Sorry I couldn't listen and understand your answer to the question until I actually HAD THE question. So now, tell me is the surcharge of $1 for EACH round trip card itself OR is it for each RIDE itself."

Then I could understand his response.

It was just an interesting moment to me as it felt like it was a VERY LONG TIME and I felt like I must have some processing problem since everyone at first seemed to be trying to rush me.

I just couldn't function when everyone was telling me what to do in the moment all seemingly at once. I needed the quite to read and then get it, or to figure it out myself.

I thought that I must have come across as seriously learning disabled AND stubborn in that moment.

In any case, I was happy that the attorney didn't try to take over. I appreciate that about him. I don't like the cutting down humor he sometimes uses, but at least he is subtle about it. I also know I am more sensitive to even the slightest sarcasm having seen sarcasm turn into real cutting abuse in the past. Jokes that put one down start off as sarcasm but the language can quickly shift omitting the joking part.

So when he joked to the guy helping how we couldn't look more like tourists I did remind him "Well , that is because I AM a tourist".

I wasn't really offended by his joking, but at the same time do have radar when someone makes a so called joke to make themself feel better as THEY ARE embarrassed to some extent, so joke about it. At least he doesn't really get that put off or embarrassed by me as he is not a narcissist so he can patiently wait while I work out whatever it is typically- even when he personally could do the thing I am struggling through with ease. The narcissistic person who sees everyone in their world as a reflection of themself can't let anyone else make mistakes around them without correcting the other person. That is really out of insecurity. In this case, he who is a D.C. commuter knew how to navigate that machine in seconds, and offered to buy tickets but I appreciated his temperate personality and that he lets me take care of my own things without taking over, even when I am struggling in a moment.

I so love when someone lets another just BE in their moment without taking over.

So we got out tickets after I figured out the deal with the extra charge for EACH RIDE, and headed on our journey.
It was really cool to see all the runners on the train heading to the race.

The kids fun run was first. We navigated through crowd of runners to find the family fun run and the two youngest girls joined their age group for stretching and warm ups. There was a much smaller group of kids and families than I expected.

After that I headed to find the 5K. It was just such lovely cool , but not cold, weather- perfect for a run. I did wear the new bright florescent sweatshirt given to me by the credit union I was running as a member of the team of. I won a spot in the lottery through my credit union so I was decked out in their cool gear.

After the race we then got to enjoy lunch at the credit union itself which was also really nice.

Only one kid spat in the car on the ride back. Typical day with kids... not perfect, but still very nice.

I had to find the Bill Cosby skit that includes "he was touching me!"
Riding in a packed car with kids often reminds me of that. Turns out it is from his bit on kids and Brain Damage:

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