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2014-06-17 - 3:54 p.m.

I finally found motivation to take up the issue with my insurance company and Dr. office of the CANCELLING of coverage for my sleep disorder med. I had called both in the past and THOUGHT this was taken care of, but when my medication was not covered again and I couldn't fill a couple of weeks ago I kinda just dreaded the thought of going through a battle to get medication. The idea of dealing with this alone was exhausting and yes - I procrastinated,
AND napped a lot.

I had some samples of the Nuvigil my doc gave me that I have taken when absolutely necessary.

They help tremendously, so I took them when traveling and interacting with other folks. I took them when I took the exam in Feb. I have stockpile of a bit more than a weeks worth that I have saved for the next exam JUST IN CASE.

With 5 weeks left until the WV BAR exam, being awake all day is a bit more critical than it has been.

When I went in for the sleep study years ago, the sleep doc was rather sure that my tests demonstrated that the sleep disorder was separate and distinct from depression (or manic depression ) symptoms. He really thought it was definitely a co-morbid condition. He thought it was in fact NOT RELATED to depression.

I do note that after having read the book MADNESS which was about the experience of living with bi-polar disorder , that my system seemed to want to just SHUT DOWN And GO TO SLEEP!

I think there is a correlation with mood and excessive sleepiness personally. YES I clearly have a sleep disorder AS WELL as "mood disorder" but the sleep disorder also is clearly exasperated in me if something makes me feel down.

There are times not explicable by what is going on in my world however that I ALSO just drop off to sleep. Stress however does clearly exasperate and seem to cause some incidents of dropping off to sleep (like the time I fell asleep standing in the Pentecostal Church on a college Spring Break trip in Appalachian Kentucky when the local preacher terrified me with his fire and brimstone yelling accompanying his red inflamed face and veins popping out of his neck. I stood there with my head dropping and snored within seconds of his "preaching" starting! It was total emotional shut down resulting in physical shut down to shut out the terrifying experience!)

So after finally making a round of calls, my doctor office is going to call in a DIFFERENT medication to my pharmacy that the insurance WILL COVER.

This seems so very similar-


It is ALSO found to be helpful for ADHD.

It is of course an OLDER and therefore I presume CHEAPER medication. Maybe there is some wisdom in the insurance company policy I have been annoyed by.

Thank God for drugs!! SERIOUSLY

I find it amusing that the AMERIBAR lecturer sounds Very MUCH LIKE KASEY CASEM! However that soothing voice HAS NOT made it EASIER for me to stay awake during the lectures!

There is a female lecturer who I at first cringed when I heard her and saw a video course of her intro as she was just that surreal HAPPY , SMILING, Barbie Doll like fake type.... I mean NO ONE could be THAT HAPPY about concepts like negligence and indemnity!

Those are not topics to make one wildly euphoric.

Her saccharine, perpetual smile was AT FIRST irritating.

Then she grew on me, and oddly I grew to APPREACHIATE her joyful enthusiasm as I listen to her delivery of the lectures on things like HOW TO WRITE AN ESSAY. I realized this can be a very depressing process and perhaps even FAKING happy can help!

I grew to appreciate her joyful smile as she said "You are taking this class because YOU FAILED THE BAR EXAM. IF YOU WANT TO PASS DO WHAT I SAY..." messages.

YES - she delivered that message with a smile.

She actually gave a really good lecture on how to reduce stress.

I thankfully LIKE THE CONTENT so could get over my initial resistance to her delivery!

My son identified with the distaste at constant BUBBLY and told me a sweet, pretty , cheerful smiley girl came in to his restaurant and applied for a job and ALL THE STAFF were like "HELL NO! We could not DEAL with that kinds of happy ALL THE TIME! It would be SO IRRITATING!"

HA HA HA.... I totally got it! Those darn cynical arty types...

But you know, I want to EMBRACE JOY!
I want to WELCOME excessive happiness in life!
I mean it is really better than many other alternatives.

And I want to get what I can out of this course, so I tried to accept the lecturer's weird constant smiles for the camera. It felt like one long infomercial at first.

Ameribar has specialized in preparing REPEAT test takers, and those who failed a BAR EXAM multiple times for the exam yet again. They stared out solely tutoring those repeat test takers. The course evolved over the years and really is marketed to this group that I am not the only one in.

I agree it is a GOOD COURSE and if one can actually DO EVERYTHING they say to, one's chance of success will be much better than before this course of study.

Trouble is my pace at moving through the material (in between naps)is RIDICULOUSLY SLOW.
That can get depressing quickly...
which does not help.

So I am SO HAPPY to have NOW FINALLY sort of found a solution to this-

Monafanil will be called in once the nurse at the office who I talked to consults with my DOC WHO I JUST SAW! As the nurse said " You were just here. No other medication changes? - No you don't need to come in, we can call this in for you."

Once he gives the OK she will call my new drug into the pharmacy.

WHEW! THANK GOD as the Nuvigil was $550 out of pocket if not covered by insurance! An $8 co-pay is MUCH BETTER for something similar I am sure will work just as well!

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