2014-09-15 - 2:39 p.m.
I am venting frustration here as I am ALL READY to go bike to a friend's house to help her with something but have NO IDEA where I misplaced those darn glasses.
I soon will just leave without them... or humble myself and call her AGAIN to embarrassedly tell her I still didn't get out of the house.
I planned on being at her place around noon.
I remembered and looked at the clock to see how much time I had and it was ALREADY after noon! HOW THE HELL DOES THAT HAPPEN?
I mean how is it possible that I woke up, did some paperwork, then started cleaning house and at that time of the day the house looks WORSE than when I began?
I was SO LOOKING FORWARD to whipping this place in shape today.
So When I remembered my friend, I called and told her will be over in a couple of hours. She was clearly disappointed. I felt bad.
And frustration as house STILL A MESS. Another friend of mine pointed out she is not maintaining a friendship with this person due to negativity. It IS True as when on the phone and I said I lost track of time cleaning she commented "You were cleaning your house the other day too"
I said "YES ITS A MESS !"
Yes I cleaned last week and it WAS NOT a mess, but it is again after a weekend with girls.
She said "Those girls should be helping out more"
I said "I know , you are right. They did clean rooms to a degree but I need to get in there and finish up"
She is older and I swear not much else for her to do. So Pocohontas had introduced us years ago and this lady has been good to me. Trouble is that at this point Pocohontas JUST told me that she wants to NOT maintain the friendship with her as Pocohontas finds her negativity really toxic and doesn't want to be around it.
I don't blame her one bit as this lady DOES complain and is truly often very negative.
But I try to just be kind and did tell her I would help her out with something today.
Pocahontas told me just yesterday that she doesn't tell this lady anything about her life anymore as she has discovered she then ends up the topic of gossip.
The thing is in the past this lady has told ME That Pocohontas told HER that SHE AND I (Pocohontas and I ) were not friends anymore. When that was said I told the lady it wasn't true, that I am sure it was just a momentary vent when P was angry about something but it passed and I didn't think too much of it. I paid no attention as that was just DAYS after Pocohontas and I had spent time together doing something. So I kinda ignored that banter.
I figured likewise, The two of them were annoyed with each other so I kinda just ignored their drama also at the time as it was at the SAME TIME Pocohontas was telling ME that she wanted nothing to do with this LADY anymore when she was upset about something. Not my issue... and have been friends with Pocohontas so long understand something she needs to just VENT. So I listen and act as supportive as I can. AND don't take seriously when she says she is cutting someone off! (She rarely follows through as with those threats!)
Pocahontas and this lady both bitch about each other, but then there will be some social thing we all do together not long afterwards so I am in habit of listening and not paying too much mind.
Interesting thing happened recently however. Seems Pocohontas is SERIOUS about protecting her boundary of her private life and NOT telling this lady her business. Trouble is that for me when one starts telling all their friends something that is kinda public and then I spent time or Talk to this lady, the lady is asking ME QUESTIONS about Pocohontas as if she is a friend in concern for her.
YES Pocohontas can have moments of not feeling well. I thought the concern was legitimate. I think I reassured her (or so I thought) but in doing so must have revealed something about Pocohontas' life she did not want the lady to know. Poncohontas is annoyed with me.
NOt my issue
And it kinda annoys me that Pocahontas would be aggravated if I validate some info about her life she has already publicly announced to all her friends(like she is engaged!), but that I am SUPPOSED To know that she is not on good terms and doesn't want this lady to know . She says she told me that before, but she has said that about this lady MANY TIMES and then organized social events over and over again so I assumed she got over it. I mean the boy who cried wolf...
I also assumed it was not my concern or issue and didn't really care at all. Whatever...
But anyway... its just annoying to be in this uncomfortable position of getting a call from Pocohontas saying things like "IF you want to kiss her ass..."
Ce la vie...
I actually ALSO dozed right after lunch which put me behind as well...
True the one gossips and can be negative and cynical at times;
True the other creates invented reality at times to protect herself
At least I believe she does as I believe I have SEEN and WITNESSED her do this. I am not convinced she is NOT a pathological liar at times! TRUTH BE TOLD SHE COULD BE IT is kinder to believe she just protects her boundaries than to believe she creates LIES to protect her truth because she doesn't really want her truth revealed.
The other possibility is that Pocohontas is COMPLETELY HONEST and this lady is truly just completely toxic and manipulative. But if that is so I don't think it works too well as I essentially listen to her gossip and try to cut it off and IGNORE it completely. I don't react and won't get involved in other's lives. If what she says to ME is true then Pocohontas is protecting herself I THINK BECAUSE SHE REALLY HAS A NEED TO DO SO and frankly I can see that, understand it, and not judge it.
But if what this lady says is NOT TRUE then it is a case of HER being manipulative and dishonest and I have no idea NOR NEED TO UNDERSTAND why at all. I just don't care much either way to be honest... other than it is irritating frankly that EITHER OF THEM ever talk of the other.
And while I don't like when the lady friend is negative and cynical or unknowingly puts me or anyone else down, there are OTHER TIMES she is very FUNNY, generous, giving and really lovely to spend time with. She enjoys DOING THINGS that I like to do and doesn't mind driving. She actually ENJOYS going to the theater which so I really don't have any other friends to go with. Really no one else really LIKES THAT as much as I do.
I can be friends with BOTH and accept the flaws in both of them. As long as I KNOW WHO THEY EACH ARE and keep my OWN boundaries clear I know I can appreciate each. Whether they can maintain their friendship is not my issue.
OF course if I can't get my butt over to her place she may give up on me as a friend..
Lost track of time... but I feel better now as they BOTH irritated me in conversations with them both in the last 24 hours so I needed to vent to clear MY AIR!!