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2014-09-20 - 4:48 p.m.

WHEW In good news turns out my older lady friend happens to have a terrible memory!

I had spilled the beans (not knowing it was something that Pocontas' DAUGHTER had not wanted shared) About where my friend Pocohontas' daughter and her boyfriend had moved to, but the comment was made just this Friday "I don't know whereshe is living, she won't tell me" SO my friend CLEARLY Forgot what I had said.

I answered that question BEFORE the last visit this Thu/Fri, on a phone conversation, before I realized there was this intentional SECRECY and keeping of boundaries of both Pocohontas' and her daughter's life from our mutual friend.

I mean it is not MY ISSUE and I hate having to invest energy in such nonsense... but now that I am AWARE it is not THAT HARD to just deflect question, or say "OH you know how she is mysteriously secretive... I know better than to tell her personal secrets"

YES I know better now.

Its just such an odd dynamic I find.

Strange when one is friends with two squabbling friends!

In other good news I got my butt out the door and DID finally enjoy a really nice bike ride and then also enjoyed helping my friend navigate her legal paperwork for a case she is involved in.

Not being a lawyer I can't give ADVICE, but I COULD help her fill out some forms.

So on Thu night afternoon I biked there, she took me out to dinner at a super nice restaurant which was just lovely, and then we went back to her place and got her overwealmingly stressful legal paperwork ALL DONE!

It was nice to help her out. I just stayed at her place Thu night, as we were up late and I wasn't biking home in the dark.

So I biked back on Friday morning after a nice breakfast and a few tweaks of things that came to me after sleeping on the legal issue. (Seriously NEVER SEND OUT ANY LEGAL PAPERWORK WHEN YOU FIRST THINK YOU ARE DONE! SIT ON IT A DAY, or SLEEP ON IT as I swear, like all good writing, there will be a period of sort of marinating of thoughts and then an "AH HA" Moment that will make it BETTER after further editing!)

Today was a nice Sat getting chores done. I put together a new shoe shelf which I hope keeps the living room cleaner as I am constantly TRYING to get the girls to put their shoes away. Truth be told AWAY meant throwing them in a pile on the closet floor, or set by the front door in the foyer which also ended up being a pile so it wasn't very efficient or easy to find your shoes quickly. I ordered a shelf and some over the door shoe organizers for all the girls to use- one for a closet and one for the back of the door so EVERYONE can organize their shoes. The shelf is for BOOTS that won't fit in those.

So the shoe mess is almost cleaned up( I left the girls to do their own). I also ordered a few more hampers as the dollar store ones have seen their day.

I am awaiting the arrival of a new book shelf to replace the one removed from here by Pocohontas as she is setting up her space so got her remaining things.

She invited me to go away this weekend which would have been nice but I had to stay home to get this place organized and cleaned.

I have sorted books and have boxes of children's books to be gotten rid of. Westley acted indignant at first when I returned a couple that I found in my books that are HIS! They had his bookplate. I found it irritating as they are the same books that Pocohontas THOUGHT were hers and I prevented her from swiping on numerous occasions (which in fact may explain how they got here in the first place! She did help me pack up and I swear she is good at convincing HERSELF of ownership of things not actually hers! We who love her have seen evidence of this OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. It gets tiring, but ce la vie... she has her strong good points so anyone in relationship with her accepts her pathological dysfunction of the creating of her vision of the world in a way the rest of us KNOW is NOT REAL. These books had Westley's bookplate on the inside. They came to my attention as when she moved her book shelf I noted they SOMEHOW ended up in my living room in the corner, and I strongly suspect she INTENDED on taking them. I quickly threw them under a couch cushion for safekeeping , intercepting what I think was her plan of them being hauled off with her actual stuff.

I don't really give a crap about THINGS to be honest.

The thing is, this is FORGIVABLE behavior as she is typically NOt sneaky or Suppurptious about taking anything she thinks is hers. I am SURE she would have MENTIONED it, but I just avoided the whole conversation AGAIN (knowing and yes confirming the Westley bookplates were in both!). It is a really odd thing to watch when one is so convinced of a reality that it really doesn't SEEM Like they are intentionally lying.

So either she is truly a pathological liar that KNOW IT and pretends otherwise,

OR she is ACTUALLY HONEST and has no clue of her own self deception that EVERYONE who I know that is friends with her at times has trouble NOT Commenting on.

The thing is she gets upset to hear people ever talk of her. Well, when friends with Pocohontas it is hard NOT TO At times vent to ANOTHER mutual friend who has experienced this kind of thing but still LOVES HER.

SO I TRY REAL HARD to be on the LISTENING END. I TRY to not vent as HEY I HAVE THIS JOURNAL To write in. Presuming no one (but Westley) in this small community actually is aware of and reads this, it can't be hurtful to her. He ALREADY tells me he thinks she is not honest.

There is a case of a whole set of missing cast iron pans, and I think he is CORRECT that she has something to do with their disappearance. He is pissed they were taken when I moved out. I did NOT take them but distinctly recall Pocahontas YEARS AGO encouraging me to. I told her then NO and to LEAVE THEM knowing they were from his grandparents. No idea where they are now but Westley DID bring them up when I returned the dragon books.

It reminded me of the "help" of the air traffic controller boyfriend who was at one point there helping me pack up the last of my things and entertaining the girls while I CLEANED and SCRUBBED The house I was moving out of.

I mean I was following that rule "LEAVE A PLACE BETTER THAN YOU LEFT IT" so was mopping and cleaning up all those dust bunnies after removing furniture when I was moving out of the farmhouse years ago.

Then Westley and the Sheriff showed up as it was the occasion where I was SUPPOSED To be out by MIDNIGHT and I thought "What the hell? HERE I am cleaning for my ex and he calls the SHERIFF?? And its only 5pm! I have until midnight!"

DID YOU KNOW MIDNIGHT is the START and not the END of a day?

That is a lesson I will not forget.

The other lesson I learned is that one has to be super careful who one has helping move when you move out of places. I never DREAMED my friends would be STEALING personal items from my EX that I specifically said leave behind. It is just so amazing to me people would do that and think it is HELPING. I am also baffled by my lack of good judgment of character. YEAH That boyfriend also turned out to be a serial liar! My EX never lets go of ANYTHING And YEARS LATER I AM STILL HEARING ABOUT THE THING MISSING! After that sheriff came I recall then realizing as they were pulling MY THINGS OUT OF MY CAR (As ANYTHING ON THE PROPERTY PAST MIDNIGHT Was "HIS" HE WAS AN ASS), the shock that the boyfriend MOVED THE STEREO SYSTEM into my car. I mean it was some nice system (even though a big ass ugly thing.. I mean I WOULD NEVER WANT such an archaic HUGE eyesore.... )
It amazes me the temptation was not overcome by the boyfriend then who moved that stereo into my car against my instructions as I was upstairs running a mop over the floors.

I suppose I think of these things as when I get ready to have new tenants the housecleaning I do is more thorough than usual. That and the feeling like I JUST MOVED due to the cleaning and re-organizing as Pocahontas moved her stuff out. (She really is the Organizing Queen so her cool organizing tools all just disappeared and I was left with the piles of stuff and dust bunnies.)

So today the other thing I did was SCHEDULE CARPET CLEANING BY SEARS.

REALLY I did not mean to rant here.

I meant to come her to helpfully tell all that they are running their carpet cleaning special.

$99 for three rooms and a hall.


I of course added two sets of stairs and carpet protectant etc... I skipped deodorizing as that seems redundant for my home. But for about $250 I will have the carpets in my main floor (living room and stairway upstairs) and the whole basement pad deep cleaned this week.

That will be a BIG improvement here!

I have a lady who I think is about to rent this place. Should know soon. I honestly haven't shown it much as I like her and wanted to get those carpets cleaned first anyway. A few others are interested but I tell you AFTER my girls come her it takes me DAYS TO GET THE PLACE STRAIGHTED!

Its true that is my fault as I LET them wreck havoc! I mean I just let them start projects and fail to clean them up. I get busy in one room with one child and then only later after we finish cooking or whatever ( this time it was the making of a brownies I had to help one fix. She put in 3/4 a lb of butter rather than the 3/4 CUP of butter so a bit of mom intervention of draining the excess, and then the spilling of some.. .and cleaning up that mess kept us busy in the kitchen), so only LATER do I even REALIZE what a mess was made in the living room while we were wrapping up the kitchen project and cleaning there! I just am NOT good at keeping up! The messes happen before I am even aware of them it seems.

SIGH... So living room ALMOST picked up.. still working on it.

I was busy volunteering with the master gardeners on both Thu and Friday so wasn't home to try to make the house presentable. Its ALMOST there.

I still however have to spackle and put a coat of paint over the wall where a mirror was removed. It belongs to Pocahontas so she had mutual friends come and remove it. I SHOULD have intervened to be sure they didn't RIP IT OFF the wall, leaving gaping spots of ripped drywall. I only realized LATER that they WOULD NOT Have done that if they were removing it from THEIR OWN WALLS.

It was sloppy and inconsiderate and I have to patch the holes and re-paint.

Oh well...
People make mistakes. Sometimes it is worth calling them out on it, and sometimes it is just easier and better for all the relationships involved to take the time to buy some spackle and take care of the simple job.

It was done SO quickly I just didn't react soon enough to prevent the damage. I DID say "Here's a screwdriver" and instructed to use it to remove the screws rather than pulling the rest out, so I prevented a mess that COULD HAVE been worse.

I am just surprised the friend helping to move that mirror was just lacking in careful consideration and awareness. He is typically very conscientious and thoughtful so I figure something was on his mind and distracted him that day.

In the big picture of the friendship I have had with him for the past eight or nine years, it seems a small thing to just let go of and not worry about.

Live goes on.. as do the friendships, despite the rough patches.

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