2014-10-15 - 5:27 p.m.
Some good news
It may have taken eight years (OK Maybe seven, but I had to wait a whole year without my parenting being affirmatively attacked to believe it), but I feel like FINALLY there is light at the end of the tunnel of DIVORCE CRAZY BRAIN which makes some see their Ex as an adversity that must be fought.
My ex finally will have a normal conversation with me when we talk about kids in which he actually JOKES and I actually LAUGH and apprechaite the humor he does have.
YES he actually HAS A sense of humor when he is not caught up in anger and on the offensive!
IT is one of his best traits and I was reminded that he at one point did make me laugh often with his jokes that had not yet turned into cutting sarcasm.
I am slowly getting over the disdain of ANY SARCASM at all. There is that witty kind which is NOT cutting, but I do believe that it is far too easy for one to mask aggression and anger in sarcasm which crosses the line so I have become particularly sensitive to ANY sarcasm at all. That is of course no fun, as I have to admit GOOD witty sarcasm can be amusing and a stress relief.
It is good to be able to banter without the anger for a change.
It took long enough to navigate that transition but I feel like it finally perhaps has happened!
What made me laugh is that he could actually joke about himself which I think is the healthiest thing ANY person can do.
Both my ex and I are job hunting. The health insurance he had been paying for which benefitted the girls (which I get my share of the bill of) was expensive so he dropped it. He just couldn't afford the monthly payment so the girls are currently uninsured.
Not such a big deal as he has opted to pay out of pocket all these years for their psychiatric care anyway. That seemed paranoid to me years ago, but as time goes on and the blurring of line of personal privacy had changes so there is literally no longer even a BLURRY line and NOTHING is truly private once in this world of electronically shared medical information etc... now it seems he indeed may have had foresight.
He may be right that the girls options might have been more limited if there were a paper HISTORY of their early childhood psychiatric care.
25% of all adults have a diagnosis of a mental illness
As my mom said when that fact was posted on FB, " the other 75% are in denial"
I truly think mental illness is no more common than physical illness. I believe one can suffer from a mental illness and recover JUST as one can catch the flu and then get over it. Sure there are also LIFELONG mental conditions some live with just as some live with diabetes or epilepsy. But ALL are manageable to a degree, and YES they make life more of a challenge but just because one HAS such a lifelong condition in no way implies they are not CAPABLE of being productive, talented, uniquely gifted individuals that can and WILL contribute much wherever they are.
That however is Not the common view and the stigma is still VERY Real.
So the fact the girls do not have insurance is not a concern to me. The cost of their care was coming out of pocket anyway.
If one of us does not land a job soon, then the Dept of Mental Health can provide needed services in the short term until one of us DOES land a job with health insurance for the family.
I had a good interview (AGAIN) - I have them often. This one would be a SUPER FUN job. I also got a letter from the kicking GREAT job I would LOVE that my application is under review. One who works at that particular place told me that they send an e-mail to those not interested in and the hard copy letter means something, so I HOPE to get a call for an interview for that job.
Something will come through eventually. I keep applying diligently.
I also wrote my letter to request the VA BAR to let me sit for the exam yet again this coming FEB.
I am SO CLOSE.
In due time.
Other good news is that I have THE BEST TENANT YET.
Ok , so there was not much of a standard to beat after Jerry Springer live.
But nonetheless, this is a WONDERFUL fit of a stable, smart lady who not only has a good job and can pay rent but also works in the actual field I am job hunting in. It is almost a miraculous match as she is encouragement to me, and she is going to keep an eye out for postings at her workplace AND I am an encouragement to her as she navigates a recent change in her life circumstances.
Just a lovely, lovely person with a very positive and peaceful demeanor and presence.
Just the kind of person I WANT In my life!
To top it off, before she left for work today she brought me some a bit overripe bananas telling me she has a bad habit of over shopping.
I have warm banana bread fresh from the oven to greet the girls with as they come here tonight! LOVELY!!!